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[snowball]

my story is i have been drinking weekends since i was17 im now 34, however the last year something has slowly crept up on me. ive been through 4 jobs in the last 7 months. basicaly what happens is i dont drink during the week until friday then i feel i deserve a beer as that is drink of choise. ill have maybe 7 or 8 botts of to bed and off to work not feeling to bad because in the back of my mind i know sat is only half day at work and i also know ill be going straight back to the drink come finish time. Anyway ill hit the pub about 2 drink there to maybe 7 go home and drink to i pass out on the sofa. then i might wake at 2 in the morning drink another 6 and back to bed. then comes sunday morning and im feeling terrible so guess what back into it again until i fall asleep then wake and start again all day sunday. i wake monday morning like a zombie get my phone and text some bllsht excuse why i cant go to work and the instead of recovering repeat the drinking cycle on the monday. a few months ago i would have battled on and started back to work on the tue but the last 3 months ive been extending my sessions for the rest of the week. then when i do stop the feeling is like beeing in hell shaking not sleeping not eating not leaving the house. then ill go dry for a week and repeat the process. finaly last week i went to see a pychatrist and she put me on naltrexone. its been 4 days on it so i cant realy comment on its benifit, ive been taking it at night cause it makes me feel a little slow. ive been reading a lot of talk about mixing it baclafen would be greatfull if someone could share there experiance on that. id like to end by saying just sitting here shareing this has felt good. god love you all

[hippie37]

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Your drinking pattern snowball is one of the many I had during my active career drinking and using.

This familiar pattern you've found yourself in can be broken with a lot of hard work and effort on your part. Any anti-craving meds etc will only give you the 'space' to start putting things you learn into action. That's the hardest part for me because I've been such a lazy self centered bastard that I don't want to get off my ass at times.

I tried all kinds of medication at first Campral, Antabuse and even anti-depressants. I realise today though that these soon became my new crutch and I wasn't progressing and still living in fear. I couldn't get past 4 months without relapsing because of this. I'm sure others will chip in who are following a more medicated approach to sobriety. But for me I had to go through a 12 step treatment center for addiction where I learned so much about myself. It's given me an awareness today around my behaviour and what leads me into picking up a drink. I've learned that my addiction has nothing to do with the substances I use and everything to do with who I am as person (or who I thought I was!). These belief systems were so ingrained in me from childhood and I used substances to change how I felt about myself. These substances were the solution to my problems they were NOT my problem. So putting down the drink was easy enough, but trying to cope with my fears and insecurities lead me straight back to it. I wasn't equipped emotionally to deal with life and I was always blaming everything and everyone else for my problems. I couldn't take any responsibility for my own actions. I've come to learn to accept my past for what it was today and take the responsibility for that. I had choices then and I have a whole lot more today being sober.

Welcome and I hope you find your own way out through these boards. Keep posting and just be honest with how you're feeling. I too find I get quite a lot of cathartic release from sharing myself both here and in fellowship.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[stirly-girly]

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Hi Snowball and :welcome: to MWO. I want to say that you have taken three positive steps in facing your problem with alcohol. First was admitting you have a problem, second, seeing the doctor and third, joining us here at MWO. I cannot comment on naltrexone or any other medications or supplements that are available. The only thing I can say is that if you continue to drink and want to stop, do not do so without medical supervision. From what I have read, I believe the naltrexone will help with withdrawal symptoms but I am not an expert and I don't take any medications. You may not be aware of it but going cold turkey can precipitate some really bad withdrawal symptoms including seizures and even death. There is a belief that the more often one tries to stop drinking after consuming large quantities of alcohol for any length of time, the greater the chances are that they will have stronger and more dangerous withdrawal symptoms. So please don't try to do it on your own.
You have come to a good place here at MWO. Most people here have been in, or are in, a similar situation with yourself and can help you to face your problem with alcohol. Read the posts, write what you want, ask any questions that you need to. Someone, somewhere will have good advice for you. And continue to work with your doctor.
Again, welcome to MWO. We are all here together for the purpose of confronting our problem with alcohol and leading a healthier, happier life. I wish you luck...
Stirly

[Guitarista]

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Hi Snowball, and welcome!
Your current drinking pattern, the one where you take monday off, which you never used to do, and then go harder, was me exactly, the last time i stopped. Problem drinking, as you are finding, is a progressive thing for us. It will get worse, and you WILL lose your job, then maybe the roof over your head, then maybe your family. All this while we lose ourselves. There is a good chance we'll never come back from it, and just keep on going in that downward spiral of hopelessness, depression, fear, anxiety, and negativity, not to mention the damage done to our body.
It's great to see you seeking help. I know your drinking situation/pattern well, and it will get worse if you let it. You are at the crossroad's right now, from what you say. You could begin to lose everything at any moment, depending on how you are thinking, and how prepared you are for battle, to take back your life. I know, because i picked myself up just in time.
Can i suggest you start right now by reading the 'Toolbox' thread in the monthly abstinence section, and get yourself a solid plan. All the better if you have good medical advice/support along the way. This is no longer a party. This is now life or death for you, if i'm understanding your routine correctly. What you do now, how you act, what action you take, is crucial, and will change your life, for better, or worse. The fortunate thing, is you have a choice.
It's important to remember, that it's our thinking that must change. How we think, play's a big part, i reckon. You can do this. A bit of a hassle, but easy peasy really...........;-)

Best wishes, and go for it!

[snowball]

happy to find this forum

thanks

THANKS ALL YOU GUYS FOR KIND RESONSE IM NEW TO THIS I DONT THINK SHARE EXPERIANCE

[Guitarista]

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How are you going tonight Snowball?

[Lavande]

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Hi Snowball,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
You can do this, a lot of us have but you have to do the work!
Get rid of the beer at home & promise yourself you'll stay out of the pub! Use the medication given to you by your Doc & take care of yourself! Drink lots of water to stay well hydrated, very important.
You will begin to feel better with just a few AF days under your belt.

Please feel free to drop in the 'Newbies Nest' thread for support. There are lots of people there just getting started as well!

Wishing you the best on your journey!

Lav

[snowball]

happy to find this forum

thanks

thanks for your replys guys. and gataurista last night had 7 beers today sunday 3 pm starting to have a few being realistic ill prob have a dozen but its a long way from drinking all morning passing out then repeating the process, but i feel ok im up at 7am having breakfast and reading the paper so yeah def better.