Saying hello

[Flip Top]

Hi im new here. Im receiving councelling at the moment for a binge drinking habit that I have. The habit is really having an impact on my life the days after a heavy drinking session i suffer heavily from anxiety attacks, worry, etc. I hate the feeling that it gives me I worry about what I did the night before and what people think about me to the point that I hate seeing some of the people that are in my group of friends now.

I embarass myself and my partner, I know its not fair on her but I end up in the same state quite soon after the last time so we end up going round in circles.

One of the reasons I drink quickly is to stop nerves because I dont seem too good at meeting new people and walking into place on my own or even with my partner( I was diagnosed with low self esteem) which really has an effect on everything.

Its driving me crazy my goal was to control my drinking/cut down but that doesnt seem to be working and the way that i feel the day after really out powers the pros of drinking so im thinking maybe it might be wise to stop all together and prove to myself and also prove to these other people in my group of friends that im not this complete drunken idiot.

My parents worry sick about my drinking habits as I am only 30 and I know it myself that there are other activities out there to do and I keep meaning to do them but end up in the pub.

I beat myself up inside for things that I have done when I am out drinking which is extremely unhealthy but I cant seem to stop doing it.

[Guitarista]

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Hi Flip, and welcome!
Good move, and you are wise to know you need to change. Alcohol is a depressant, as you probably know, and heavy drinking leaves us anxious, depressed, and our self esteem, and self confidence is shot to bit's. The thing is, for me at least, when i stopped drinking, after a little while, self esteem, self confidence returned, and anxiety and depression completely dissapeared. You may well have more difficult anxiety than i ever had, but the power of being sober every day, i'm sure will soon crush that anxiety stuff, and if not, at least you'll be able to work on what you need to without feeling hungover, or guilty about being drunk, etc. Get into some weight's or exercise/walking/jogging, and get the blood pumping, and you'll feel a lot more confident, AND, you'll be looking great.
BUT, you have to do the work to turn yourself around. There is no magic pill.

Best wishes mate. Go for it. Your new life await's!.........;-)

I think you are a hero.

[greeneyes]

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:welcome: flip flop! Guitarista is right. You will see many things take a turn for the better with the absence of alcohol. It just messes up everything. Best of luck to you.

[stirly-girly]

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Hi FlipTop and :welcome: to MWO. You have come to a great place to find support in trying to confront your problem with alcohol. You have already taken some positive steps and that is important. First, you recognize that you have a drinking problem, second, you started counseling and third, you joined MWO. I haven't been here all that long myself but I can assure you that you have come to a good place. There are many kind, caring people here reaching out to help each other towards attaining their goal of a healthier, happier life. If you read the posts, you will see that almost all of us here are in, or have been in, the same place where you are now. Read as much as you can, post what you want and ask the questions that you need to. There will be suggestions and good advice offered to help you.
I wish you luck in overcoming your problems...again, welcome,
Stirly
P.S. You may want to check out the "Tool Box" to help you get a plan. It is in the "Monthly Abstinence" forum.

[JackieClaire]

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:welcome: Flip Top,

Just wanted to add my hellos.

Keep reading,keep posting. Names will soon become familiar.

Wishing you all the luck in the world at the start of your journey.

J x

:l

[Flip Top]

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Thanks guys for the welcome.

I was involved in a car accident and suffered a whiplash which rules out the gym option. Before my accident I was down the gym 3 x a week lifting 30kg dumbbells on dumbell bench press. I have been off work for the last 6 months which doesnt help my position as im at home bored alot of the time so can end up with me going out on a whim bender.

Im on a all down low at the moment. This current situation just seems to never end so thats why I am here too seek advice and chat.

[BPleasant]

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30 is a great age to stop drinking.

[byebyebridgetjones]

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Good on you for taking the initiative to come here.
This is an amazing place and will help you enormously.
Get reading through the Toolbox thread.
You won't regret it.

[Flip Top]

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Hi and thanks where is the tool box thread I cant seem to find it

[startingover]

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Hi there flip and welcome to you.
The others have given you some great advice so I cant really add too much more except reiterating what Mr G says about anxiety. Its soooo much easier to deal with sober and to get lasting results of conquering it.
Heres the toolbox thread
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[Flip Top]

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Hi thanks, I have read through the thread and it seems to have some usefull information in it

[Meech]

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What came first the chicken or the egg?

Hi Flip Top, :welcome:

Welcome to a place that's understanding, caring and above all helpful.

I like to think of low self-esteem as the egg and the chicken is alcohol. :chick:

You can switch it around if you like, it really doesn't matter. The point is I think every single one of us with drinking problems, have done regretful and embarrassing things over and over again which brings on shame, depression, self loathing and yes LOW SELF ESTEEM. Keep repeating you actions with binging and you seal the low self esteem deal.

Many of us are dealing with the same thing you are right now. The lower I got the more I figured I didn't deserve something better. Well that's just a crock of SH**&&T. We all deserve better.

When you can change you life and take alcohol out of the equation an amazing thing happens. You re-discover yourself and with that come self-confidence, strength, pride and happiness.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You just have to fight one drink, the first one.

We are here for you, use us we are friendly and caring. Let's start a healthy life right now. :l

[Flip Top]

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i've been drinking alot of lemon water lately and infact im drinking one right now and it makes me feel so much better in myself for doing it. I am thinking to myself why cant I just live on this stuff instead of going out drinking. The one thing that really scares me is that much of my friends social scene is meeting at the pub.

I was at a friends 30th last night we were all drinking and I just get this sense of being invincible after drinking alot. At this party there were pictures of my mate and his friends shown on a projector screen, a picture of me came up of us on a night out and I heard someone say there you go Harrison(me) Wank@r@d again, it really upsets me when I actually here people say this (not sure the person who said it knew I was standing behind him at the time).

These so called friends that egg you on to drink more so you look the idiot.

[startingover]

Saying hello

Hi again Flip, people like to see others being "the entertainment" sadly. I know when I quit drinking first off and I was invited out, if I said I was driving there was an air of disappointment around. The thing is, that people get used to you not drinking and soon it becomes a non issue. In fact when I go out now, most people Im with drink much less now that im not caning it any longer.
It might take a little while to get your confidence up in this area though, but its so worth it. I waited way to long to sort myself out and feel I have missed out on so much.
Eventually you will feel invincible sober and I really mean that!

[Reenie]

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You have been given a lot of great advice Flip Top. As time goes on, the more sober days you get behind you, the more your self esteem will improve. Try not to worry about what people think. You have to think of yourself and do what is best for you. Deep down, people are going to be proud of you and wish they had the strenght you do to change your life around.