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[Panno]

:new: Gosh I really don't know what to say - all I know is I am ready to start curbing or stopping my drinking, I don't know where I am right now. Yesterday was the last straw for me, I was cooking the Sunday roast, drunk as usual, and my grandson was playing near by and I fell over him, he is only 3 and he thought it was very funny, needless to say I didn't and it made me have a wake up call - my daughter was furious but very kind to me -she never shouts she just gives me that look and then smiles. I am drinking between 1 and 2 bottles of wine an evening, never in the day as I work (not at my best tho!!) I really want to drink sociably but not really sure I can anymore - I am wondering if this is it and should I stop altogether

Thanks for reading this :thanks:

[byebyebridgetjones]

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You did the right thing coming here to at least get some information, and perhaps make some decisions for yourself Panno.
Most of us arrive here confused, disillusioned and more than a little frightened by ourselves.
You might try reading through some of the informative threads, especially the one titled 'Toolbox'.
Good on you for pulling the pin now. Believe me, it only gets worse if you don't.
Bridget.

[JackieClaire]

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:welcome: Panno,

Another UKer here.

You've made a huge step today by making your 1st post. You've come to a place with no judgements and masses of support.
Does your daughter ask you to baby sit any more? I only ask this as my mother was an alcoholic and the only time I could let her see my kids was when either me or my husband was there.

Can you have a word with your GP? Mine has been wonderful,they're are not as scary as you think.
Have a look in the link below to try and get a plan together.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

You're not alone anymore.We've all been in your shoes.

J x

:l

[mollyka]

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Welcome Panno
I reckon you know the answer to your question and that is why you are here. To find this place when you feel you are at the end of your rope is a gift. The people here have started a new life for so many people by their support and encouragement and the 'oldbies' give invaluable advise. Stick with it here, keep reading and posting and you need never see your daughter give you 'that look' again.
The start out advice is drink lots of water and be kind to yourself(without alcohol). I find having a job a godsend cos it keeps you occupied for so much of the day.
Good luck and stay around, lots of people with lots more experience than me will be on the thread to advise you
Molly x x:welcome:

[Panno]

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Thanks for your replies it really helps knowing people are out there willing to help and listen. Yes my daughter does let me babysit still (for now) thank god because she does trust me when I tell her I would not drink with the children when I'm on my own, but I am aware, and so is she, that one day I could we just never know.

Right now I feel strong and do not want a drink - but when that clock turns 6 - 7pm I am a different person and my thoughts I felt in the morning just dissappear!!!!

[Flip Top]

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Just thought id say hello, im new to this site to :welcome:

That feeling of being a different person turn 6 -7 o clock is a feeling I can associate myself with, I think when you do get that urge you have to say quietly 'no' to yourself. Try not to have any Al in the house, I know its difficult but I think its going to help.

'Focus' is going to be my word for the day

[DeeBee]

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Hi and welcome Panno,

I began my journey by reading the book "My Way Out" which you can buy or download online. It inspired me to get my a$$ into gear when I was drinking a 5lt box of wine every other day.

Sometimes we need to use all the tools we can to our lives back in order, use all the resources available to you - you're worth it.

[gyco]

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here we go again

Panno;806374 wrote: :new: Gosh I really don't know what to say - all I know is I am ready to start curbing or stopping my drinking, I don't know where I am right now. Yesterday was the last straw for me, I was cooking the Sunday roast, drunk as usual, and my grandson was playing near by and I fell over him, he is only 3 and he thought it was very funny, needless to say I didn't and it made me have a wake up call - my daughter was furious but very kind to me -she never shouts she just gives me that look and then smiles. I am drinking between 1 and 2 bottles of wine an evening, never in the day as I work (not at my best tho!!) I really want to drink sociably but not really sure I can anymore - I am wondering if this is it and should I stop altogether

Thanks for reading this :thanks:

hi panno,youve made the 1st step,youve found a great site,drinking over the last 30 years has become a sore spot in society,just like illegal drugs and over the counter medication,in a heavy drinkers eyes,2 bottles of wine is not a lot,in an alchoholics mind the same,in a so called normal drinkers eyes,they really cant comprehend why we drink so much,yes you could of really hurt your gran child,or your self,even sober the same could happen,some can moderate,ive tried unsuccessfully many times,many families dont no how to deal with it,push it off to the side as just another drunken xoerience,there are many programs out there to help you understand why you are the way u are,councilling,treatment centers and even AA,to stop drinking is a long journey,it isnt easy,for an alchoholic,ive been doing this for 10 years,just started to accept the fact im alchoholic in Whatever i do,work,sports,ect,the list goes on,it is just a word,my dear i dont mean to write this to scare you,nip it in the butt b4 its to late,i do wish you well and you jusst happen to be 1st on the board gyco:welcome::goodjob::thanks:

[Panno]

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Hi Flip Top - Thanks for saying hello - good luck on your road to recovery

Panno

[rubywillow]

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Panno, I too endangered my grandchildren. My daughter was not as 'understanding'. I missed out on months of special time with the children, and am still watched very closely with them, and I do not blame her one bit. Many people say it took a frightening experience, hitting rock bottom. I was literally saddened sober. My little granddaughter, who also saw me drunk at about 3 or 4, would call and beg to come stay with me a while, and was angry with her mother. She would say, 'Everyone makes mistakes, Mimi, but you're a good girl now'. It broke my heart.
Now is the time to take hold of your problem. Read here, listen, and post often till you find your way. There are many here who waiting to help you.

[redhibiscus]

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Welcome Panno. You said yesterday was the"last straw" for you. That means that other things have been happening that make you uncomfortable.

I understand, as I began to drink more and more after my mother died about five years ago. One to two bottles, 3-5 nights a week. Not feeling well most days. Horrible guilt, anxiety and shame.

Just to let you know, this site is so helpful, and there is a whole new life waiting for you if you want it enough. Download the book, look at the toolbox thread that shares others' plans for being alcohol free, (AF). Many people here try to go 30 days AF, then reassess what they want. Sometimes they find that 30 days AF is not as easy as it sounds. There is no one way to do things, and this is just the beginning of your journey. Good luck to you, sending you strength and hope.

[greeneyes]

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Hi panno, I just wanted to extend a welcome to you. We are full of support here so always let us know how we can help. Well done on the first step of posting here. Keep it up!

[savon19]

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Hi Panno - Welcome!

Whenever people are debating whether to moderate or quit entirely, it always seems best to suggest doing 30 days AF (alcohol free). This will help you to see how much you are relying on alcohol. Then if you decide you can moderate after that (few do, it seems!)... go for it!

If you're drinking daily, this is really a good idea. If nothing else, it will break the habit part (at least until you start drinking every day...).

Either way, good luck!

[Panno]

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Thanks again for the welcomes - I am really going to make the effort to do the 30 days AF, I know it will be hard as I can't even remember the last time I had 2 days AF!!! Drinking wine for over 15 years now!!

[tylyr]

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Panno
You sound very much like me. I've been drinking wine for around 15 years too, it started quite inoculously, and kinda grew - you probably know the feeling. I've managed 4, 7 and 10 weeks AF in the past, and then I always give in. I too have small grandchildren, so far so good with them, but one day I just managed to get away with it. I split some red wine on a beige carpet, and pretended it was coffee - how my son and DIL didn't know, I'll never know!! that was a wake up call too. However, I'm still on the wine, been AF for 2days now, getting ready for a holiday, and hoping to be AF on holiday. Sometimes it's easier because there's more to do, like when you're working. What I can't cope with is the constant craving, I just need to know it goes away. Sorry for rambling, but welcome, and there's plenty of support here. I've been here years, and still can't hack it for any length of time = well willed I suppose. Best of luck, keep posting and coming back