44 days down the drain

[DAMO]

Hi all,

I lasted 45 days and for some stupid reason decided to have a beer on Saturday which led to about 8 pints.
Bad hangover sunday but still had 1.5 pints after work,I work i a pub.
And went out again last night. Cant beleive how well I was doing and feeling so proud,happy,energetic,focused etc.

I really want to quit, nothing drastically bad has happened to me over AL, everything else is going great in my life, a loving wife, 2 healthy kids.
But when I start drinking, I cant stop, had said to myself I will try moderating, but already I have 2 sessions where i consumed 8 pints (568ml) each night, which I know is not moderate drinking.
My wife knows I was trying to quit, when I rang her and told her I fancied a pint on saturday, she said that was ok and just hoped I didnt regret it, which of course I do.
Havent told her I want to try again, maybe its the fear of relapsing again.

Any tips on getting back on board after f**king up.
Have a feeling its going to be tougher this time, I was so determined last time out and having got much fight in me at the minute.
This site and Allen Carrs book helped me a lot for the last few weeks.
Tks 4 reading.
x

[Gold]

44 days down the drain

Those days are not down the drain, although I can understand how you might feel that. Those days have shown you how much better your life is without drinking, your experience of drinking on Saturday and Sunday only serves to confirm that for you.

I had 22 and then 77 days and had a try at drinking again, I am now at 55 days and much wiser than before. I think that having to think about moderating instead of being able to take it or leave it without much thought speaks volumes, for me at least.

As to tips for getting back on board, just do it and put the 44 days and the drinking days down to a necessary part of your journey. Your 44 days is all the more impressive as you work in a pub! It must be interesting to observe people drinking when you are sober.

[JackieClaire]

44 days down the drain

Hi DAMO,

Firstly you did the right thing by coming back.

You had 44 days AF and you know it feels great, now it's time to work out living sober.

Have a look at the link below to see if you can pick up any tips.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

I honestly admire you for working in a pub and being surrounded by alcohol. How on earth do you do it? Do any of your mates at work know?

J x

:l

[Flip Top]

44 days down the drain

Im in the same boat as you 1 pint turns into many, I to have a loving GF. The reason my name on here is 'flip top' someone gave me the name in the pub once, when I got a pint it went straight down quite quickly.

Just keep trying dont let this get you down and try and become focused again.

[mama bear]

44 days down the drain

Hi all
I f'd up last night too and feel terrible about it
Just gotta start over....
hang in there and I am thinking of you
working in a pub....holy cow!

[gyco]

44 days down the drain

the good part is your back here,the hard part is stopping and wanting to stay stopped,been in your shoes so many times,in a potenial alchoholics mind,giving up the thot of ever havuing another drink for the rest of there lifes is a incredible thot to fathom,i was at a AA meeting yesterday,im not saying you need to be there,but a gentleman said,somthi i never hurd,in his xperience of over 30 years sobriety,thr thot has neverleft him,or in his mind,never will,i need to here that just from the honesty part of it,its receiving the arsenol to protect ones self from the 1st drink,that my friend is my downfall,i do wish you well gyco

[DAMO]

44 days down the drain

thanks all for your kind words,its day 1 again and I am aiming for 30 days AF and take it from there.

The working in the pub isnt too bad as I never drink there and sometimes it helps when you see how some people behave when drunk.
What triggered Saturday was we got an unexpected night out as our son was staying over in a friends.
We were just planning a night in with a movie/take away and I had my sparkling water in with some blackcurrant .
I didnt want to insist on going to the cinema again and it was too late to book a restaurant so decided on the pub and then suddenly couldnt get the thoughts of having a beer out of my head.
Anyway, I will have to be on guard the next time for the little monster AL reappearing into my thoughts.

Here we go again !! I AM NOT DRINKING TODAY
x

[Doggygirl]

44 days down the drain

DAMO, I completely understand where you are coming from. I too chose to drink after 60 days AF thinking "now I can control it..." WRONG!! My experience was similar to yours. I was right back to my old alcoholic drinking ways in no time. The only difference is that I struggled for 8 months to get back firmly on the wagon again, and I hope that part is NOT what you experience. Do whatever it takes to get back on the wagon NOW rather than waste more of your life being wasted.

What I learned from that experience is that I will NEVER be "fixed" in the sense that I can safely drink again. NEVER. I have to ignore that little voice in my head that tries any way possible to convince me that it would be OK to have "a" drink. (yeah right. When did I EVER have "a" drink. NEVER.)

Now you know. Onward and forward. I wouldn't wish relapse on anyone, but sometimes I think lots of us just have to try it and see for ourselves. The good news is that with this knowlege, you can move forward in your sobriety with the FACTS in hand about what will happen if you choose to drink again. No wondering about it.

Strength to you!

DG

[mama bear]

44 days down the drain

you guys really inspire me...I am new to this and still struggling....thanks for all the positive and truthful words

[Lavande]

44 days down the drain

DAMO,

Welcome back!
Sounds like you have learned something very important about yourself! That's good, hopefully you won't repeat the process.
You know what you need to do - recommit yourself to an AF life & go for it
Living a sober life is a good thing, I promise!

Best wishes to you on your journey!

Lav

[Fantasy Haircut]

44 days down the drain

Hey damo,

you sound very much like me. Even to the point where I'm on day 44!

Just get back on it mate.
You'll probably have a tough day or two but then it does get easier...as you will know.

The days aren't wasted, far from it.

Hang in there mate!

[BPleasant]

44 days down the drain

So much better to have gone 44 or 45 AF and 1 day not than 40 day not and 5 days AF.
No excuses of I screwed up, why bother! It's a much better place to be than back into the I am not able to do this, I hate myself, it's not worth it...
YOU WENT 44 days AND YOU WORK IN A PUB! wow... that's iron will!
You too mamabear... each day sober is better than each day NOT SOBER.