G'day!

[KatieB]

Hi all, :new:

I'm new to this site.. I'm living in Australia, though was born in the UK.. I have had had HEAPS of problems with alcohol over the years, have nearly ruined my life time and time again. I have given up totally for around 3 months a couple of times.. and am trying my hand at abstinence again - i've now not had a drink for one week exactly!
I have suffered with issues of low self-esteem and depression most my adult life (i'm now in my early 30's). Drinking used to be fun, until I realised I was starting to abuse it as a way of coping with life..
Some of the issues I have had with alcohol include: losing friends by being rude when drunk, being promiscuous, getting injured, DUI (banned from driving for 3 years, which is over in 2 months, hence why I want to stop drinking completely as if there is a next time I will probably go to jail..). Plus my ex-husband assaulted me last year at a party, he's been charged with GBH. I also have a son with him.. I had DOCs (child protection) involved last year as I had PND and was drinking.. I had to have an AVO put against me on behalf of my 1 year old son because of this, which stated I could not drink around him. I then got charged with a breach of this last year - as my husband reported a breach after he assaulted me to use as blackmail to get me to not charge him for the assault!

So yes, my life has been made a complete shambles and a mess - partly due to depression, and definately due to alcohol. I've tried controlled drinking - which does not seem to work - i find it too tempting to keep drinking.. it is out of my control. So i have come to the realisation that to maintain as much control as I can of my life, I must stop drinking completely - so to avoid any further problems, and obviously I love my son to bits and want him to have a normal life as much as possible. I am really pleased I have found this site - it seems a great way to get some support. I was thinking of going to AA, but it would be hard to make the meetings since I am pretty much the sole parent of my son, as the dad is unreliable.. I look forward to hearing from anyone, any support to keep of the alcohol would be greatly appreciated.. I have just had enough of messing up my life - it's now time to stop, for the sake of my son, and obviously for me too.. Now i'm getting older, i'm also worried about the health issues I may get if I keep binge drinking..

[jessie]

G'day!

:welcome:Welcome Kbrown, you will find a lot of information here and no one will judge you. We are here to help each other get rid of AL. And most of us had made a pretty mess of our lives as well. Read and post as much as you can.

[KatieB]

G'day!

Thank you.. this site is just what I need.. though I am seeing a D+A counsellor on a regular basis, I feel this will really help to give me more support - by having the support of people who have gone through similar things due to alcohol.. I am just so "over" it messing up my life - I had been in denial so so many years, due to my depression - I was making excuses, or giving myself reasons to drink.. I cannot do this anymore, I must stay sober for the sake of my son - I have come so close to losing him this past year.. I am such a great mum when I dont drink - I am devoted and do anything for him.. I tell myself I can just have one or two - but I always end up drinking the whole bottle, or more.. I just cannot trust myself, so I have to stay completely AF - I have been now for a week.. this site will hopefully help me stick to this goal so I can keep my life on track. I have a great job, apartment and my little boy. I get my Driving license back in 2 months and want to keep everything I have in my lifee. plus I have made new friends that I do not want to lose.. thanks again for your reply

[snowball]

G'day!

gday k im also from the uk been in oz 15 years slightly older than you 34 and just found this place a couple weeks ago. I have always drank a bit at the weekends but lately found it affecting my life you know like bingeing geting longer and quiting and losing jobs. Anyway i decided to go see a psychiatrist and she recomended a medicine naltrexone, it blocks the receptors in the brain when you drink that give that special buzz we all know to well eventually training the brain that there is know point pouring gallons of this stuff down our throat. Look ive only been on it for a week and so far no bingeing and been feeling pretty good about myself, its totaly non addictive so thats not a wory. I went to few doctors before i seen the psychiatrist and they were useless, if you ask me all there good for is writeing scripts for antibiotics and refering to specialists. My advise is get a referal from gp to see a psychiatrist not a psycholagist as they just want talk about history and stuff and thats ok but i think go see psychiatrist first as they deal with the chemistry side of things. anyway do a lot of research on naltrexone and go make that appointment. Peace

[Panno]

G'day!

Hi K well done on your week I'm new here to and I have 2AF days - keep reading and posting it really does help and teaches you there is a far better life without AL xx

[cash]

G'day!

Keep up the good work Kbrown and Panno. I am reasonably new here - although I have been lurking for a while. Good on you for starting to post - it took me ages. I live in Aus also. I have two year old twins who are the biggest joy in my life - except when hung over. So like you KBrown after the first drink I find it a slippery old slope to a hangover. I have just been to my GP and he prescribed something called Campral. If you look elsewhere on this site it is one of the anti-craving medications poeple seem to have had much succes using - and Kbrown is is best if you don't drink on it (as opposed to NAltrexone which some people drink on). It stops the cravings apparently!!! I am not sure how you feel about taking something like that but have a read here. It may help you and I am a big believer in if there is something that will make it easier than what the hell. So best of luck with your AF progress and we all look forward to hearing of more success from you. Adn if you do it without any prescriptions good on you gal!

[amashed]

G'day!

Hey, someone in Aus from the UK who after a series of nightmares with alcohol has decided that I need to give up completely? That sounds amazingly familiar! I'm 2 weeks sober today and its not easy but soo much better than drinking. Good luck and a great first step.

[gyco]

G'day!

hope

Kbrown;807334 wrote: Hi all, :new:

I'm new to this site.. I'm living in Australia, though was born in the UK.. I have had had HEAPS of problems with alcohol over the years, have nearly ruined my life time and time again. I have given up totally for around 3 months a couple of times.. and am trying my hand at abstinence again - i've now not had a drink for one week exactly!
I have suffered with issues of low self-esteem and depression most my adult life (i'm now in my early 30's). Drinking used to be fun, until I realised I was starting to abuse it as a way of coping with life..
Some of the issues I have had with alcohol include: losing friends by being rude when drunk, being promiscuous, getting injured, DUI (banned from driving for 3 years, which is over in 2 months, hence why I want to stop drinking completely as if there is a next time I will probably go to jail..). Plus my ex-husband assaulted me last year at a party, he's been charged with GBH. I also have a son with him.. I had DOCs (child protection) involved last year as I had PND and was drinking.. I had to have an AVO put against me on behalf of my 1 year old son because of this, which stated I could not drink around him. I then got charged with a breach of this last year - as my husband reported a breach after he assaulted me to use as blackmail to get me to not charge him for the assault!

So yes, my life has been made a complete shambles and a mess - partly due to depression, and definately due to alcohol. I've tried controlled drinking - which does not seem to work - i find it too tempting to keep drinking.. it is out of my control. So i have come to the realisation that to maintain as much control as I can of my life, I must stop drinking completely - so to avoid any further problems, and obviously I love my son to bits and want him to have a normal life as much as possible. I am really pleased I have found this site - it seems a great way to get some support. I was thinking of going to AA, but it would be hard to make the meetings since I am pretty much the sole parent of my son, as the dad is unreliable.. I look forward to hearing from anyone, any support to keep of the alcohol would be greatly appreciated.. I have just had enough of messing up my life - it's now time to stop, for the sake of my son, and obviously for me too.. Now i'm getting older, i'm also worried about the health issues I may get if I keep binge drinking..

K. B welcom,to be harsh or not tobe harsh,wowsa,your story would make anyone want to stop,AA is good,contact the inter groups,there all over the world,they even come to your home,and it is on line,aaonline,easy to get in,like here its a chat line,not hard to figure out,meetings i beleive on the hour,councilling one on can work,been there done it,reading your story,only cause ive been there ,there is treatment,away from home,get your relatives to look after the youngster,just to share with you ,ive been in and out of the AA program for 10 years,it is not easy,but if you give it a chance,it is a blessing,and yet its not for all,you dont even have to buy the book,suggestion,if your a reader,go online and read the 1st 164 pages and then doc bobs story, theres always hope gyco:welcome::goodjob:

[overittoday]

G'day!

Hi Kbrown and :welcome:
I am new also and from Oz! You sound like you are having a terrible time at the moment but good on you for recognising that you need help.:goodjob: All AL does is cause dramas and chaso in your life get rid of the drinking and slowly things will fall into place. Yes i agee it is not easy but neither is what you are going through. Do some research there is alot of support out there is you ask for it. Think of it as you turning point, no pain no gain if you really want it nothing is impossible.
Im 17 days AF today i am so over not living to my full potential and that drives me everyday to find new ways to live a sober and happy life. AL is damaging in so many ways lets beat this together.
Good luck on your journey shout if you need to.:l

[gyco]

G'day!

hi K. B. i forgot to mention it looks like youve been thro hell and back,i do sympathise and wish you well,

[Guitarista]

G'day!

G'day KB and welcome!
You are right, this is an amazing site, with lot's of very useful and interesting info, and stories that you will see yourself in. Great going on 1 week. Keep it up, and here's to another week. Why don't you shoot for 30 day's af? (alcohol free) There are a few threads here that are set up for that, and/or start your own. A great place for you to start reading, is the 'Toolbox' thread, in the 'monthly abstinence' section. Essential reading for you right now, i strongly suggest.
Jump in on a thread or two, or lurk. You'll be welcome everywhere! Try the 'Newbie's nest', and/or 'The Next day thread' is in your time zone, with lot's of Aussies, and some N.Z er's. These threads can be great for support, or question's, thought's etc.....

Get yourself a good solid backup plan together my friend. You'll need it.
Best wishes on your journey.

[Doggygirl]

G'day!

:welcome: kbrown! Congratulations on reaching that point where you know that controlled drinking just is not possible for you. That was a very difficult fact for me to face in my own path to sobriety and the journey got a little bit easier (note: not "easy!") once I finally, 100% accepted that I just can't safely drink, ever.

This site is such an important part of my sobriety - I'm so glad you found us! I recommend giving the My Way Out book a read if you haven't already downloaded it. Since you mention AA, I will say that I started going to AA about a year ago and am really glad I did. It has helped me find a peace of mind that I did not figure out on my own, and I have also made new friends and it has helped me rejoin the land of the living. There is a thread in the Monthly Abstinence Section called The Weekly AA Thread. You are welcome to read and post whether you are participating in AA or not. That might be a good way to find out more about it. It's not for everyone, but has helped many. Probably worth at least a look.

Strength to you! Have fun at the bookstore and whatever other activities you decide on for your upcoming weekend alone. (from your other thread)

DG

[KatieB]

G'day!

Thank you for everyone's kind words and support.. it does sound awful, even worse seeing it written down.. my problem was that I was in denial for so long (sound familiar??!) - but I genuinely believed all my issues stemmed from depression, and that the depression "made" me drink.. But now I know, that even though depression can make you want to drink - as you want oblivion - to forget your worries (though they are still there the next morning, made worse with the guilt of drinking) - drinking is NOT a solution. My problem was, I never cared enough about my life to want to change this habit - I had difficulties making and keeping friends, hopeless in romantic relationships etc.. my mum pretty much abandoned me to be with her new husband, and I had no father in my life. I had zero self-esteem and confidence from being bullied at school - I felt unwanted everywhere.:upset:
When I moved to Oz, I met my hubby - who turned out to be a narcissist and made everything worse. I thought having a family would "solve" my problems.. but my son was diagnosed with a tumour when he was born and had to have a major operation to remove it when he was just 8 weeks old! hence I stopped BF and turned to alc.. my husband was useless - no empathy at all.. I started to improve at the beginning of 2009, but by hubby didn't see the changes and kept abusing me.. which led to the assuault in June '09.. since then, I have been doing well - I have stayed strong for my son's sake - ppl tell me I am an excellent mother, I have held down my nursing job for a year, and I have a lovely apartment (rented).. my life is finally getting back on track. Though I know to keep things going on the up and up, I have to stay AF b/c of my history.. as with my mind, I am prone to depression. thanks again for everyone's support xxx p.s 8 days AF today, yay!

[Doggygirl]

G'day!

Congrats on Day 8! You are wise to realize that AL will NOT solve any problems. Sober, you can pursue the good quality life that you and your son deserve.

DG

[KatieB]

G'day!

Thanks again all.. I am so pleased again that I found this site! It feels like it has been made for me! lol.. so many people in everyday life are judgemental of those who have or had issues with AL, it feels great to be able to amongst people who understand..
I would also like to add that another reason I realised that it was not depression that caused my drinking problems, was that even when I was not depressed, I would drink to excess. I would buy a bottle of wine, "promising" myself to have one or two glasses with dinner, like "normal" people do - but I would drink the lot, and sometimes go out and buy more.. I know now that I am an alcoholic - not in the sense that I depend on it on a daily basis, as I can easily go without.. but when I do decide to drink, I cannot stop.. and I would drink at inappropriate times.. it's so hard to admit to yourself you have a problem, as I would love to be "normal" and enjoy AL like you are supposed to, and know when to stop - but I know myself and I can't do that. The only way I know I can have a happy, stable life, and not have any more problems, such as with the law, is to stop completely.. I am no longer in denial, which is kind of liberating - but also scary as I know it can be so easy for me to go back and drink and get into trouble again.. I will do everything I can to stop this from happening - such as utilising this site, and knowing myself..