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[someone_else]

Multiple triggers...need to accept my feelings and deal with them instead of giving up and numbing them. I need to remember that I do have the strength within to deal with things, particularly depression and frustration. I know better, and I did it anyway. Can't believe myself.

[Flip Top]

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hey up chuck chin up.

[Doggygirl]

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All we can do is learn, get right back on the wagon and move forward.

I found that a lot of my frustration and depression came from trying to control other people, places and things that are truly outside of my control. In sobriety, I have found I can maximize my own peace of mind each day by accepting things that are outside of my control (no matter how much I might not like it!) and FACING those things I CAN control (mainly ME and MY actions) and being brave enough to change what I can. (often things I don't want to change, but that benefit me in the long run)

I had no idea how much I DIDN'T know about coping appropriately with "life" when I first removed the AL from the equation.

Strength and hope to you - keep moving forward.

DG

[someone_else]

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thank you!

[someone_else]

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I almost posted yesterday before I started to slip, and was going to just say how I felt. Almost called a friend, too. Maybe just having those thoughts, and then falling on my face, could be a lesson. I'm trying to find something positive in the situation.

[Doggygirl]

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Next time, DO come here and read / post and DO call your friend. Sometimes just a short delay in the decision can help you get your resolve in place and make a better decision. The tools are here - use them!

DG

[stirly-girly]

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someone_else;807571 wrote: I almost posted yesterday before I started to slip, and was going to just say how I felt. Almost called a friend, too. Maybe just having those thoughts, and then falling on my face, could be a lesson. I'm trying to find something positive in the situation.

Hi SE.
The positive thing is that you realized your mistake. We can all learn from our mistakes. Just get up and start over. That simple. I've done it many times. I can't stop drinking once I start, until I fall into bed drunk. Getting through the time I usually start to drink is the hardest. I think that applies to most of us here. So I have this paper stuck up on my desk that says.."It takes much less effort to get through "the witching hour" than it does to get through a whole day with a hangover." That's the bottom line. Get yourself over the bump. Call your friend. Come here to MWO and post - go to chat. Whatever it takes to get past the temptation. Here, especially, you will find lots of people ready to talk you through it. Just post that you need to chat if no one's in the chat room and I guarantee within a few minutes someone from somewhere in the world will be in chat to help you out. That's what MWO is all about - a group of people who care about each other. Just ask for help if you need it. That's the positive constant here. You ask for help, you got it. Right when you need it. From folks who know exactly what you're talking about......:huggy...
Stirly

[someone_else]

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Thanks - I texted my friend today and he said I could 24/7. I almost said in my post that it is a high risk day...long weekend, then kid gets sick and can't go to school, so no time to myself, and husband traveling and so I'm lonely, too. He will be home tonight though. I need to get over the guilt and depression before then. No way I will drink today. I can't control that my child is sick. The house is a mess and I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. It has been such an adjustment going from working to being a stay at home mom.

[Meech]

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Someone-else

Just keep saying I can't drink today. Don't even give your brain the chance to think drinking it is a possibility. As Sarasmiles has said, Go into the bathroom to the mirror and look yourself in the eye and say "I'm going to take care of you"

Stirly-girl. I loved what you said "It takes much less effort to get through "the witching hour" than it does to get through a whole day with a hangover." I am definitely repeating that to myself tonight when the cravings hit. Thanks Great tool to use!

It's funny just the way things are worded can really strike a chord and make the difference of caving or staying AF. What stirly-girl said really was a "ah ha" moment for me. Having a disgusting hangover on Monday was really not worth giving into that short time of fighting the cravings the night before.

Doggy Girl - I SO AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID. As I did my AF15, I was so much happier with myself as I was incontrol of my decisions (sober decisions). And I really didn't bury myself in negative feelings about the things and people I can not change - something I constantly do when I'm hungover and depressed.
Realizing somethings are out of your control - so let them be....really did bring peace to my mind and heart (during my 15 day AF stretch)! Something else I'm going to think about when the cravings hit AND when I conquer them and continue my AF journey.

Wow some really effective advice that I can grasp. I love this - very inspiring!

Someone_else - Be strong today. you can do it. Alcohol is NOT an option today. You will survive the night without and be so proud of yourself when you fall into bed SOBER.

You can do it! :thumbs:
:l

[mama bear]

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someone else
I caved ealier this week and hated myself for it....not worth it...be strong, vaccum, do laundry, clean out the frig......just try to stay busy
we love and support you

[someone_else]

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Thank you all! Sometimes it's hard to find a healthy alternative to dealing with painful feelings. But we know the feelings that result from drinking too much are so much more painful. It does help to feel like I'm not alone. If I would just follow my one rule of waiting till 6pm I'd be ok, because I start getting my daughter ready for bed at 7, and after that I don't feel like drinking.

[someone_else]

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And the weird thing is, now that it's 11:30 here in CA I'm starting to have thoughts like...maybe if I just have one it will ease the hangover and take the edge off the misery...and I can prove that I can stop at one. Isn't that crazy?

[Doggygirl]

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Someone else, that's exactly the insanity that we are ALL dealing with when it comes to AL. I used to think I was the only one having those thoughts. That "just one..." thinking is something that happens in some way shape or form to nearly all (or probably ALL) of us. It's just our addicted brains trying anything to get a fix.

Logically, what possible reason do we have to think that "this time" would be any different than it's been in the past? If anything, I have reason to believe (based on past experience) that if I drink again it will be WORSE not better.

See it for the AL lie that it is, and hold your resolve to say no.

DG

[someone_else]

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so far so good...

Thank you DG. I didn't cave. I had some supplements instead. If I had one it would be like, the definition of insanity, repeating the same behavior pattern and expecting a different result. So, every minute that I get through without caving would be a reason to be happy. Still being alive, and not ruining my life, yet, are others. I don't want it to get so bad that I lose my family. Maybe I should make a list of reasons to be happy. I think I have gotten used to the quick fix, and now I'm looking for another kind that is not destructive. I guess going outside helps. A quick walk. It's hard to do some of these things when stuck at home with a sick 6-year-old who needs constant attention and entertainment. Maybe we'll get dressed and she can roller skate in the driveway a little while I help her - she is just learning.

[Doggygirl]

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Good for you someone else. I keep a "gratitude list" in writing with me most of the time. I try to look at it every day at least once. I add to it regularly. It's in my day planner thingy so always handy. If I feel a pity party coming on, it's good for me to take a step back and realize that I really DO have a lot of good in my life.

The good feeling you have when you help your daughter learn to roller skate would be a great thing to start your own gratitude list with! Get out there and have fun!

DG