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    #1

    Trying to keep strong

    Hi all,
    This is my 2nd day on this site.. so far, so good! been given lots of tips, advice and support.. I have managed to not have a drink since last Wednesday, so 8 days now AF, going into day 9.. i'm about to start work so there will be no temptation tonight! I'm a bit worried as I am meeting friends for lunch at a pub tomorrow, well an 'RSL' as they call in Oz, for a certain kind of pub.. but anyway, i am just afraid I will give in and drink tomorrow.. though I know I must try not to - as if I even have one drink, I will be tempted to buy a bottle of wine on the way home and have the lot.. can anyone offer me some words of wisdom to psyche myself up so I don't give into temptation? I cannot change the venue as this was planned months ago.. thanks
    "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

    :groupluv:
    Tags: None
    #2
    Trying to keep strong

    Hi Kb,
    Great job on 8 days.
    Time to pull out a few little white lies. In my early days I used
    I'm on a health kick
    I'm on new meds
    My cholesterol is a bit on the high side

    And if you're religious, try Lent

    And a good escape plan...the dog needs feeding, I'm waiting for a phone call

    Best of luck

    J x

    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment

      #3
      Trying to keep strong

      Kbrown, oooh, going to a pub can be a huge temptation. Is is worth the risk? Only you can answer that. I know that there is no way I could have been out with drinkers so early on. I like how you realize that having that first drink starts your next drunken episode.

      Sometimes in the beginning, it is too hard to be out with all that booze.
      Redhibiscus
      ______________________________

      Comment

        #4
        Trying to keep strong

        I agree.. but like I said, it was arranged ages ago and I've not seen these friends for months.. I think I should be ok, as I have my 1 year old son with me, and my friends are bringing their kids - its quite family-friendly but there is a bar.. I will just use the excuses JackieClaire has given me (*thanks*).. my friends are not big drinkers, and in fact I have been the only one having a drink out of this group of friends in the past! So now is time to prove to them that I don't have to have a drink every time I am out.. I just to have to stay strong and resist..
        "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

        :groupluv:

        Comment

          #5
          Trying to keep strong

          I'm hoping I will be ok, as its a family friendly place, not just a place to drink.. and my friends don't really drink, and I will have my son with me.. my concern is not actually being at the pub and having one drink - as I know I can easily just have one or two and not any more in the pub (as I have my son with me) - but that I will want to buy a bottle of wine on the way home, to drink when my son goes to bed! But I know I really should not do this, if I want to put all my problems in the past.. its a slippery slope and I know the only way for me to have a stable life is not to drink at all - thanks for the tips though..
          "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

          :groupluv:

          Comment

            #6
            Trying to keep strong

            Hi Kbrown,
            :goodjob: on your 8 days! awesome!!!
            If buying the wine on the way home is the problem can you take a different route? Maybe ask for strength from yourself at that time. How badly do you want to stop drinking? you dont need it go home take a bath, have a peppermint/camomile tea or whatever you enjoy (obviously not AL). Listen to the chatter in your head telling you to stop at the bottle shop tell it NO I DONT DRINK! on Saturday morning you will be so proud that you past that milestone.
            Come on you can do it! your are stronger than your booze brain.
            Oh when you get home jump on chat and talk it out. These are the steps that will help you get to 10/15 then 30 days.... just watch what is going on inside you dont judge it just watch.

            Hope that helped!:l
            Liquid MISERY guaranteed to distroy.

            Comment

              #7
              Trying to keep strong

              I want to stop drinking VERY badly - it scares me, the grip alcohol has on me once under the influence of just one.. i think I can control but I KNOW I cannot! I just cannot do this anymore! it makes me cry.. I MUST stay AF, its the only way I can be a decent mother and person.. I cannot even have one, I just cant take the risk.. thanks for your advice everyone xx
              "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

              :groupluv:

              Comment

                #8
                Trying to keep strong

                This is a tough one. I think you should only go if you can commit to being AF in the pub. Is your son being picked up by his Dad this weekend? It wouldn't be great if you were obviously either under the influence or hungover in his presence.

                Have a plan, have excuses about why you're not drinking, and if you really think you can't do it, then don't go. I made sure I bought my own drinks and had tonic water - everyone just assumed it was Gin and tonic

                I truly truly wish you strength.

                Bets
                x
                Proud to be SLIGHTLY SLOVENLY.:wavin:


                [/COLOR]

                Comment

                  #9
                  Trying to keep strong

                  Hey Kbrown. Just think of the strength you will get when you do resist picking up that bottle on the way home.... You will feel fantastic - no hangover, no guilt, no shame and you will be able to play with your gorgeous son.
                  You said it yourself "I think I can control but I know I cannot"...
                  I sometimes use a little trick when I am desperate for a drink. I tell myself if I still feel like this in one minute, five minutes, half an hour and an hour (just keep increasing the time) I will have one. I can guarantee when I take away the forbidden factor it becomes less desireable and the strength you get from resisting builds up and then before you know it, it's the next hour or day and you havent had a drink.
                  It IS hard to stay sober but it is so worth it.
                  Good luck and keep coming here.
                  Hippy
                  I finally got it!
                  "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become" Buddah

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Trying to keep strong

                    hippy - you hit the nail on the head for me! I couldn't put my finger on it, but now, thanks to you, i can. It helps me to tell myself that I can have a drink later if i really want one. Then I usually end up not having one at all. I never really understood why that twisted way of thinking worked for me. but you said it. when i take away the forbidden factor it becomes less desirable and weaker! thanks!!

                    kbrown - i just wouldn't go. i'd call at the last minute with a white lie. if you do go, tell yourself ahead of time that a fizzy water with lime sounds awesome. or have a coffee. be sure to order an appetizer or something right away so you can just munch while you wait for your food. just do not have the first drink. if you don't have the first one, you won't buy that bottle on the way home.

                    also, like hippy said, putting it off works great. so if you get there and you feel like you really want a drink, tell yourself if you still want one AFTER you eat, you'll consider it then. just put it off.

                    good luck. it's hard.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Trying to keep strong

                      :thanks:Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and support.. I feel if I keep telling myself what has been suggested in my head, I can be strong and resist that drink in the pub.. It's only one moment in time, there is no point having just that one, as I know what it can lead to.. i will feel much better about myself if I stay AF, as I know if I remain AF, there is no chance of anything really bad happening to me or my life.. Last year, I could have lost my son due to my drinking.. I know the only way to ensure this never happens again is to remain AF.. I will jump on here later on this afternoon and hopefully let you all know how successful I have been! :h
                      "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

                      :groupluv:

                      Comment

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