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    Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

    I find it gets too 7oclock and panic sets in as i tipped all the booze down the sink when i decided i had enough of it, its like i can see this pattern happening and now i am scared stiff when the weekend arrives, its like i drink too celebrate i drink because i am upset, i know its just any excuse, and i am petrified too go shopping because i am not strong enough yet too stay away from the al section, my hubbys been great at helping me, but when will i get strong again

    #2
    Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

    hi scissorhands,this might help . Urge surf. Many people try to cope with their urges by gritting their teeth and toughing it out. Some urges, especially when you first return to your old drinking environment, are just too strong to ignore. When this happens, it can be useful to stay with your urge to drink until it passes. This technique is called urge surfing.
    Urges are a lot like ocean waves. They are small when they start, grow in size, and then break up and dissipate. You can imagine yourself as a surfer who will ride the wave, staying on top of it until it crests, breaks, and turns into less powerful, foamy surf. The idea behind urge surfing is similar to the idea behind many martial arts. In judo, one overpowers an opponent by first going with the force of the attack. By joining with the opponent’s force, one can take control of it and redirect it to one’s advantage. This technique of gaining control by first going with the opponent also allows one to take control while expending minimal energy. Urge surfing is similar. You can initially join with an urge (as opposed to meeting it with a strong opposing force) as a way of taking control of it. After you have practiced urge surfing several times and become familiar with it, you may find it a useful technique when you have a strong urge to drink.:-)


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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      #3
      Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

      Hi scissorhands. Hang in there because this DOES get easier with time. I am happy to say that today I really don't have urges to drink any more. The good thing about not giving in is that you can work through this tough early part, and never have to repeat it! (I relapsed at 60 days, and then had to go through the whole starting AF over again...avoid that if you can!)

      You have made a great start by identifying times (evenings / weekends) and situations (shopping where there is AL, etc.) that are extra difficult right now. That is great! All I can share is was I did to work through those times / situtations.

      For the "times" (in your case, evenings/ weekends) make plans in advance so you have something positive to do that is NOT drinking related, and that will help you keep your mind off of AL. Active things (go to the gym, take a walk, start a new class, etc.) seem to be more effective than passive things (reading a book, watching TV). I used to include some "chore" type things on my list, although the professional recommendations I've heard and read suggest initially to plan only things to do that you view as positive. (I guess you can tell I don't view chores as positive LOL!)

      I would absolutely avoid place with alcohol that make you uncomfortable right now. Is there a grocery store that does not sell AL? Go FAR out of your way to that one if you feel like the AL aisle would be calling your name. Or maybe your husband or a friend would go do the shopping WITH you. I didn't go near a bar, or social events with AL, or anything that felt tempting to me for a long time.

      To succeed, I had to put my sobriety first. My sobriety is still #1, however with time and practice it gets easier. I don't have to plan quite as much as I used to, and I don't have to avoid things due to AL calling my name.

      All the best to you. This journey is so worth it!

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


      One day at a time.

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        #4
        Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

        I think because of the country i live in al is part of there culture, so i have just been catching up with chores today and playing with the kids to take my mind off it, going out on my own is not an option for me right now because i know that the minute i go out i will want to go and buy booze so i dont trust myself just yet, hopefully the weather is good tommorow and my husband and i can take the children for a nice walk

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          #5
          Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

          Good for you scissorhands on know what your limits need to be right now. That is excellent! Good too that is sounds your husband is supportive. This "dangerous" time won't last forever, and sticking to your guns is the fastest way to work through it.

          Hang in there - you are doing great!

          DG
          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


          One day at a time.

          Comment


            #6
            Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

            Hang in there scissorhands, it gets a little better each day!

            This Too Shall Pass

            If I can endure for this minute
            Whatever is happening to me,
            No matter how heavy my heart is
            Or how dark the moment may be-

            If I can remain calm and quiet
            With all the world crashing about me,
            Secure in the knowledge God loves me
            When everyone else seems to doubt me-

            If I can but keep on believing
            What I know in my heart to be true,
            That darkness will fade with the morning
            And that this will pass away, too-

            Then nothing in life can defeat me
            For as long as this knowledge remains
            I can suffer whatever is happening
            For I know God will break all of the chains

            That are binding me tight in the darkness
            And trying to fill me with fear-
            For there is no night without dawning
            And I know that my morning is near.

            ...Helen Steiner Rice
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              #7
              Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

              Thanks guys your words of encouragement are really helping, when seven oclock came round tonight i threw myself into cooking the tea too keep busy, if i can last till nine every evening every thing is closed any way so i know that how ever bad it gets i cant get booze anyway

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                #8
                Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

                Lav - beautiful words - thank you for sharing.

                Jolie
                Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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                  #9
                  Why are the evenings and weekends the worst

                  Scissorhands, sounds like you are doing a great job staying AF and starting to develop the skills, (keeping busy during your witching hours) to remain without the booze. It takes time, it takes practice, and is is so worth it.
                  Redhibiscus
                  ______________________________

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