Hello all

[woolf]

Glad to be with others who perhaps will see me as who I am. Anyway a short, well sort of, story of what I am all about. Always been a heavy drinker for many years, have read of others who have self medicated with the drink to deal with life and that,s what i know realise I did. Suffered with clinical depression, indeed it seems to run in the family can see the traits in them and two have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Anyway, eventually the drinking lead to my divorce, there was no violence, just anger, and then the trust was lost, can,t blame them really, must have been a right b,stard to live with. Found myself a flat ,lost conact with my children and then it all kicked in, the drink really took hold and I went on a crusade to destroy myself. Literally pickled most of the time, needed a drink in the morning to be able to face the day and rid the shakes. All came to a head in September,08. The ex wife was passing the flat about midnite and I was spark out on the pavement, she put me to bed but I woke sometime and must have tried to gone out for a smoke but fell and hit my head on some concrete stairs in the block. Luckily the chap ubove me goes to work at 5 in the morn and found me, blood everywhere. Was rushed to hospital and after the usual prelims they did not give me much hope, but one doctor spoke up and got me up to Stoke, apparantly the place to go for brain injuries, the family was assembled and warned that IF I survived I could possibly be a vegtable and asked my daughter if she would permit my resussitation should the need arise. anyway after 3 months intensive care finally home and was as high as a kite. Developed Epillepsy the following February. The high continued thru 2009 but relapsed a number of times, the biggest just after Christmas which resulted being back in hospital. Anyway thanks for listening-or reading and all the best to you all.:thanks:

[startingover]

Hello all

Hi woolf, welcome to you and that is some story you have there.
Here is a great place for support and ideas to get and stay sober, well thats what its done for me and many many others.
How are you doing now?

[mama bear]

Hello all

Wow Woolf
Glad you are here with us. Ditto starting over....how are you doing?

[the bellinator]

Hello all

Woolf...obviously you are a survivor. 'Nuff said. Welcome and thanks for sharing. :welcome:

[woolf]

Hello all

Wow!! thanks for the quick reply. To be honest, and that was a trap I would regulary fall into-not being honest either with myself or others. I have had a drink tonite basically trying to bring myself down bit by bit, but what really scares me is the little man in my head that tells me, after all the effort I put into being off the dring for a short time, go one, mate it wo'nt hurt just one, then leads to anothe and another.... It is a continuing battle it's some much easier to give in sometimes but being bloody minded I will keep fighting. Thanks again.

[startingover]

Hello all

Oh keep fighting it woolf. that little voice keeps on going for a while but it can be beaten. Have you tried any supplements or meds to help with cravings?

[KatieB]

Hello all

Welcome woolf.. I too have been in some dangerous situations both physically and mentally when drunk (though I haven't ended up in ICU, I have ended up in hospital a number of times).. you will find the support you need here with help to live an AF life.. I've been here just over a week, and already feel much stronger in terms of keeping AL at bay,
K x

[woolf]

Hello all

Hello starting over, I had just found some Capmral in my cupboard must have been given to me some time ago by GP and was Googling the interaction on that and the epillepsy medication which lead me to this site, is that syncronicity or what? so will give that a go. would welcome any feedback on campral and others feelings on it. Cheers Woolf

[woolf]

Hello all

KatieB -your message-many thanks.

[hippie37]

Hello all

Hi Woolf and welcome to the forum.

My story in a nutshell was that NOTHING worked for me apart from attending a treatment center in Liverpool where I got experienced counseling from addiction therapists. That involved a 12 step philosophy and fellowship meetings.

What got me there though was a long hard battle with myself and others and the world around me. The last thing I wanted to do was go to AA meetings because I didn't want to be 'controlled' or told what to do. I wanted to do things my way. Where had my way lead me in the past though? Straight back in the gutter everytime. I came to realise that I couldn't fix my problems with the same level of thinking that created them. I was delusional and in denial I even had a problem in the first place. That's that voice that tells me to "Just have one, it will be OK". What drink and drugs did to me I know damn well this is BS. But I fell for it hook line and sinker for a long time.

We all have our own journeys in this life and part of the process for me in accepting I was an alcoholic who suffers with addictive behaviours was reaching a place within myself that I can only describe as "hell". After numerous attempts at staying sober (which was the hard part for me) and numerous fails and finally hitting rock bottom I sought help at the last place I ever intended going. Fellowship and treatment. The one thing it has done for me is completely opened me up to MY truth and who I am as a person and an alcoholic.

Once I gave up fighting the drink and got out the ring and said "YUP, I'm beat you'll beat me hands down everytime I get in the ring with you" I started to make a bit of progress.

Whatever path you take don't ever give up on being open minded to ALL your options. Believe me I thought I would never attend an AA meeting again after thinking it a cult and a bunch of brainless idiots. My background was one of music, free festivals, hippies, crusties, ravers, squatters, anarchists etc. I was the last person to believe I would end up enjoying freedom from active addiction through the fellowships. (I attend AA and NA meetings). So keep and open mind and be willing to do whatever it takes to get well my friend.

p.s. I love Shropshire, it's a beautiful part of the country. I used to camp a lot at Lower Lacon Caravan Park in Wem and attended the odd few full moon parties out in Hawkestone Park.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[Lavande]

Hello all

Hi Woolf,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
You are a lucky guy to have survived your injuries! I also spent a few days in ICU after a head injury requiring surgery, very scarey indeed.

If you haven't already download & read the MWO to get the info you need about the program, very helpful. Check with your GP about possible drug interactions to be safe.

Wishing you the best on your journey. Please feel free to drop in the Newbies Nest thread for support.

Lav

[jessie]

Hello all

:welcome:Hi Woolf,
Many of us can relate to your story, and I think Hippie coined it perfectly...got out of the ring...AL will beat us hands down everytime...You're off to a good start in acknowledging that you have a problem.

Don't quit trying.

[startingover]

Hello all

How are you doing today Woolf?

[mario]

Hello all

hi & welcome woolf, You have come to a great community with lots of support & advice,as has been said earlier dont dismis anything that can help you fight this fight,you are not alone,hope to see you around.

[woolf]

Hello all

Thanks all for the support, have tried AA, agree totally with Jessie, hippy, take the fight out of the ring it is a no win situation. Been shopping this morning and even wandered around the drinks isle, not a lot of choice to really, these shops do not make it any easier, but gave it all the cold shoulder, was quite chuffed.