A New Life

[Hypernova]

A New Life

Farm girl

So here WE are~ once again trying to quit drinking. Many of us have tried to control our drinking and sooner or later we consume more than we planned or wanted to. You are not alone and being numb only kills the pain but it can't fix a damn thing. Drinking to control stress will work short term but the long term effect will give you more stress than you originally started out with. Then the cycle begins anew. We (I) need new ways of coping with life so we may achieve the state of health that will allow us to truly enjoy life. Stress will always exist it's how we manage it that is key. All the info on this site is a great place to start and find out how to deal with stress. Stress has many adverse effects on our health so it would be wise to find out how to manage it. I find exercise that you like is A#-1. Meditation, reducing noise, eating properly, adequate rest and sleep help restore your health. ~~~ I like you find that I hit the wall at 4 days. I have said this for years. I actually had a pattern of drinking heavily then stopping for 4 days and by day 4 I felt great but then just drank again b/c it was hell after day 4. ~~ My advice to you would be to manage your stress however you can and then after you are AF for a period of time you will be better at finding ways to deal with stress. I could talk about stress forever b/c I find it fascinating. What is stressful for some is relaxing for others. For example I love getting on the highway and cruising with or without a destination it relaxes me. Other people get stressed out just thinking about taking the highway. Too long of a post and I apologize but find out what stresses you personally and then work to manage the stress. Forget drinking, it is a stressor, Best to you and push on to being AF you will be rewarded with much improved health.
~~:exclaim: Please remember you are not alone:exclaim: ~~

[ronaldolover]

A New Life

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one trying to quit.....AGAIN. I did well last fall and then let myself go during the holidays....and I used that as an excuse. I am once again back to day 1......and I am so disappointed in myself. My husband and I find ourselves surrounded by friends who only want to go drink....and we always give in. How do we get out of this terrible habit??

[spuddleduck]

A New Life

just had my first week AF. feeling great and positive. ive decided to 'lay low' for a while as i need all my strength for ME. thinking about it, i dont really think ive been out with my friends for a while, ive been out with AL, being out with friends was just another excuse (as was staying at home, being stressed, being happy, being sad etc etc, being anything but sober basically). WHY we drink, which is often the route of the problem (apart from the obvious one that we are alcoholics of various types and degrees. the fact that we are here says a great deal and recognising the problem is the first step to dealing with it. keep strong and believe in yourself x

[ronaldolover]

A New Life

Spuddleduck - congrats on one week AF!! That is awesome! I think I need to lay low for quite a while....I am so depressed today.....but I am just going to take it one day at a time and I already know that tomorrow will be better!!!

[LVT25]

A New Life

Hello Farmgirl! I felt compelled to reply to your thread because I am a farmgirl too. Well, I used to be a farm girl, now I guess I am a farm-middle-aged woman! :H

I have a feeling you are quite a bit younger than I am, and I think it is awesome that you realize the drinking is becoming a problem. I was a heavy drinker for many years, and now at age 49 I have been sober for almost a year and 1/2. It really is hard at first. But all the advice you have received is so true! Read My Way Out, if you haven't. The program works--if you work it! The main thing for me was changing my routine. If you always come home from work and mix a drink then sit in front of the computer (my case) or the tv....then go for a walk instead. Drink something else. I used to drink a lot of beer...so at first a Diet Pepsi in a can was what I drank. I also liked Red beers, so I drank the tomato juice without the beer.....it will take a while, but your brain will get used to these changes and like them. It won't always be hard. The supplements, hypno cd's, exercise and this forum are such valuable tools--use them.

As far as the friends. I think as a young person this is harder. My friends were already slowing down in their drinking too---except the ones that had just as bad a problem as I did. You might find out who your "real" friends are.

You will never regret quitting drinking. I didn't think I would ever be able to quit let alone want to stay quit. The thought of a hangover again really creeps me out. And watching others drink too much........words evade me right now, but it's not that enjoyable.

Best wishes to you in this! :welcome:

[Farm Girl]

A New Life

AF Friends / Advice

Oh thank all of you so much for the advice. And LTV25 I am pretty close to middle age myself. I have been soo good at hiding my problem that most friends and family don't know about it. I am compelled to say something (and going on a diet, being on medication, just don't feel like it are great things to say) because if I don't - well - they won't know I'm trying to quit when I do accept that first drink. So, I am trying to set myself up that if I do drink around close family and some friends - they will remind me of my AF goal or at least ask me why I changed my mind.

And it is such a habit for me. Now I am drinking an O'Douls and it is helping me relax. Exercise and mediation are on my list too.

My fear is that day 5 or 14 or 21 where I tell myself - you are fine and can have one little glass of wine, sip of Brandy or 3 or 4 beers - Look how long you have gone without a drink!

[Funny Girl]

A New Life

Farm Girl - just understanding that day 5 or 14 or 21 can be dangerous is a big revelation right there - at least you know you'll have to be vigilant. I think you're on your way. Set up those days as big reinforcement days - as if they were your first! I think LTV25 makes great points on small changes. I like a lot of beer, so I buy a lot of sparkle water in cans - I can put them in a cozy & sit & watch TV with no calories. I have O'Douls amber in the fridge just in case, but so far haven't had any. If I want wine, I put pomegrante (sp??) juice in a wine glass, just to feel festive. It's not quite the same, but it seems to help.

You'll begin to devise your own little things & begin to develop new routines. I'm also establishing a new 'before bed ritual' where I make a little cup of herbal tea or this sugar free hot apple cider as a nightcap. These are all things that keep you busy too.

Well, I'm off to make my hot little drink. Good night to you!

[Farm Girl]

A New Life

Day 4 - Facing a shelf of liquor bottles

Day 4 and this has always been my "oh I'm fine I can drink and still manage my life" day. So tonight while traveling for work I am in the hotel bar with a co-worker...staring at wine bottles, all kinds of liquor...and I end up drinking...Kaliber - non-alcohol beer (the guy had to use a flashlight to find the one bottle in the back of his little fridge, really).

Back to my hotel room and feeling pretty good. Day 5 is next!

Funny Girl, great advice on the tea, I've been drinking hot chocolate as it calms me down so I can sleep.

[Funny Girl]

A New Life

Bravo! The hotel bar scenario can definitely be a tough one. That's a situation where having the option of NA beer does help - at least you have a bottle in your hand to fulfill that 'obligation' to participate. Hot chocolate is good to - I'm finding that now that I'm not drinking I'm really enjoying those types of drinks a lot more now too - they actually seem to taste better to me.

Well done. You should be proud.

[LVT25]

A New Life

Good job, Farm girl! I'm not sure I'd have that much willpower in a hotel bar with a drinking friend so early in my sobriety. So now you have that nasty day 4 over with! Remember it's one day at a time and you just need to make good choices each day. Every time you make the choice to do something or drink something else it reinforces that behavior in your brain.
Hang in there and keep up the good work! It is so worth it!

[Farm Girl]

A New Life

Day 5 - Tough, Tough, Tough

Funny Girl, I think I cursed myself when I stated day 5 was a day to note - what a tough day. Nothing in particular, but it hit me like a wave around 5 pm. I needed a glass of wine to relax. Now. I went back to the hotel, ran on a treadmill and worked out until I calmed down. Back in pub for dinner, no non-alcohol beer and everyone else was enjoying a drink but me. I waver - ok, I will have a white wine..no, I will have a beer...maybe a mimosa....I end up driving to the hotel next door and buy 2 Kaliber (non-alcoholic) beers and bring back to pub. I am OK. Getting ready for bed and so really glad I won the battle today.

So on to Day 6. Thanks for the great support everyone-

[Funny Girl]

A New Life

Hey - you won!!!! Good for you! Yes, it took a bit of running around - but at least you were ready! You were able to think it through & at least got through the whole thought process enough to have your wits about you. Glad you were able to go to the hotel next door & get some NA beer. I know many here don't agree that substitutes should be used - but I say whatever keeps you from drinking is worthwhile - especially in a tough situation like that. It's enough to get it out of your system so you won't go to the real thing & blow it.

Fabulous! You should be very proud of yourself! You didn't give up.