How can I change my negative thinking?

[tawnyfrog]

How can I change my negative thinking?

KatieB;814719 wrote: I love that idea of a blessings jar.. I think I will start one of those today..

Hi Katie - wrong self-talk above. How about "I will start one of those today"? It's still early in the afternoon/evening. Do it now.

[redhibiscus]

How can I change my negative thinking?

I really appreciate this thread as I have also been struggling with negativity and fear. It seems that it starts up and if you are not vigilant, it takes over. I have been waking up at around 3:00 a.m. with racing thoughts, worrying about work, kids, money, future, and it is just miserable.

Cuckoo, I loved your thoughts about what we tell ourselves we are, we become. It is so important to get in a habit of loving ourselves and telling ourselves loving things. Easy to say, hard to do.

[sick of being sick]

How can I change my negative thinking?

KatieB, keep reading post, one that really encouraged my negative thinking was "attitudes and feelings" by hippie. Read that if you haven't already. Stay on the site and it will change your attitude. There are so many wonderful, caring and encouraging people in here. pm me anytime. I'm ALWAYS here! Hope you have a wonderful AF day! Love ya, vicki :l:l:l:l

[TranqWilly]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Hi KB.

I too had/have some self-esteem and depression issues which have gotten better. Not 100% cured, but much better. Taking away al's influence is huge. Certain supplements have helped, but more importantly learning about myself from the inside out.

I like the idea of writing a list of negative thoughts. I've taken that further and just write my thoughts in a journal. It is amazing how writing brings clarity to thoughts, and paying attention can help to identify when I'm inventing stories, or going down illogical paths.

Someone recommended the Tolles book which has a mindfulness bent - I would recommend 'Radical Acceptance' by Tara Brach - a clinical psychologist who has taken eastern influences into her western therapy practices. She makes clear how easily we get caught in trances of fear and self-denigration, and brings a special understanding to bear as she guides the way to self-discovery.

Great thread, KB! You're not alone!
tw

[KatieB]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Thank you all.. :thanks:
It does seem to be a common issue amongst those of us that have abused AL in the past.. its quite obvious why I guess.. you don't get many people with positive self-images and secure, happy outlooks to life abusing AL or drugs even..
At least we are the lucky one's and have found this wonderful site where we can help and support each other with these feelings!
I have been working hard this week trying to maintain a positive attitude, and am constantly catching myself when I say negative things to myself such as "i'm a boring person", "no-one cares about me".. I catch myself now when I say those things, and change them for something positive! I AM a nice, caring (and interesting!) person and people DO care about me.. etc..
I am having a pretty good week so far.. 8 days AF now :yay: and its been almost a month since I last "binged"..
I have treated myself to some more nice clothes and things, and new toys for my son.. I cannot believe how much money I am saving not drinking AL! I am also smoking less.. as I would often smoke heaps when I was drinking, but i'm now down to just 6 a day..
Hope you are all doing well, and keeping those positive thoughts happening!

Love Katie xx

[spuddleduck]

How can I change my negative thinking?

negativity has been a big issue for me. even after just one week AF im feeling more positive. how can we control our thoughts when we are pickled. one thing we all have to be positive about is that we are here and pointing ourselves in the right direction.

[redhibiscus]

How can I change my negative thinking?

That's what I was just thinking, spuddleduck.

By being AF for several days, a week, and/or longer, your mood and negative thinking begin to change. I think part of it is biological, you are not longer ingesting a depressant into your system, so you are not so down.

The next part will have to be deliberate, listing positive aspects of being AF. Taking the time to notice the positive, good things in your life. Mindfulness, such as Buddists preach. Being in the moment, appreciating the sunshine, your body, loved ones, food, etc. We have so much and are so much, just right now, this very moment.

Good luck to all on this journey, wishing you peace, strength, and hope.

[mollyka]

How can I change my negative thinking?

RedHib, I agree, without forgetting the struggle behind us I think to look forward positively is very important and what has changed.
For me being AF means enormous things to me but like with most things in life its the relatively mundane day to day changes that have the biggest impact.
1, weight fell off as soon as I cut out the empty calories, down a dress size and counting
2, bloated face and hands and ankles... gone
3,'that look' ( you all know what I mean) I no longer see on my loved ones faces
4, yeah Red, the sunshine I used to go days without noticing what the weather was like
5, enjoying the taste of food and remembering what I eat when I go to nice restaurants
................................and on and on and on:H

[TranqWilly]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Hey KB.

I thought of something else today...

My life really started to change when I realized that no one but me is responsible for my happiness. When I realized that I was depending on other things (al) and other people as a source of happiness, a light bulb went on. I was down because I was alone; and blamed my broken relationships. It became clear that I make my own decisions and choose what I want to do - yet I was looking outside myself for happiness, and blaming other things for being bored, lonely, drunk, etc. I knew that I needed to point the finger at myself and figure out what I wanted to do with MY life.

Take care!
tw

[cuckoosnest83]

How can I change my negative thinking?

TranqWilly, you have put into words a feeling/idea that I have been processing over the past couple of days. You can have the support of friends, family, MWO, AA, etc. but ultimately you are responsible for yourself and your decisions. At the end of the day it is you who decides where you want to be in life.

[KatieB]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Tranq.. I sort of realised this a while ago.. that you cannot rely on anyone to bring you happiness.. i'm just trying hard to work out what makes me happy though as I have always relied on AL in the past, to bring me happiness (but obviously that didn't work or I would not be here!)
I am trying to practice 'mindfullness', and be happy in the moment, taking pleasure out of the most basic things.. I am learning, and beginning to be happier every day.. at least I am not depressed - this is my longest stretch ever in my life that I have not felt depressed or suicidal in quite a while!
take care all,
K xx

[TranqWilly]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Hey KB - Remember that happiness isn't really a destination, but it's part of the journey if we take the time to notice. I think that there is some sense of peace and happiness in knowing you're on the right road. I think that has a little to do with goals and achievement, and more so in losing the inner-turmoil and being in-synch with your spirit.

Keep the past in the past - there's no point in guilt. What we've done in the past was the best we could do given the circumstances. We drank because that was the only way we knew to cope or deal with our lives and feelings. I think a key lies in understanding that we need to learn new ways to deal with what life brings. In the fog of depression and al I think it's easy for learning opportunity to get lost.

I like this thread, it makes me step back and think about perspectives, and how I think about thinking.

Take care.
tw

[KatieB]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Keep the past in the past - there's no point in guilt. What we've done in the past was the best we could do given the circumstances. We drank because that was the only way we knew to cope or deal with our lives and feelings. I think a key lies in understanding that we need to learn new ways to deal with what life brings. In the fog of depression and al I think it's easy for learning opportunity to get lost.

Thank you Tranq, for your kind words..and wisdom.. I am really learning new ways of dealing with life.. I do not want to turn to AL anymore to cope.. my life feels much more in control without AL. AL has always been there when things in my life have gone from bad to worse/terrible.. I will keep coming on this site, as it has been so helpful,
Thanks again,
K xx

[hillsidetime]

How can I change my negative thinking?

Hi KatieB, I am glad that you are writing out your thoughts here, and that you are af, congrats. One thing to remember is that staying af gives you power, and from that power comes confidence and self esteem.

In terms of your negative thinking, I feel that all of us can work on these aspects through life. Although we are each born, I feel, with a tempermant, we are "response-able" human beings. We decide how we are going to respond to stimulus. So we can chose to see the glass half full or hall empty.

In addition, much like athletes we need to keep our inner dialogue positive - positive self talk. Sometimes we can't trust our inner dialogue to be healthy, and we have to enforce our self talk content on our own brain.

You can do it, stay strong. I can recommend some cool books too if you like.
Hill

[spuddleduck]

How can I change my negative thinking?

i can honestly say in the last few days AF (13 days in) i havent had a single negative thought. thats amazing. previously i would wake up with bad thoughts, go to sleep dwelling on bad thoughts (thats not quite true cos i would often have just passed out). i went to a therapist (CBT) last year after a mad sad drunk moment that put me in hospital. he did a lot of stuff about self esteem issues. it helped a bit but as i was drinking, usually straight after the stressful session.my head is now in the best place it has been for ages and long may it continue. as everyone here keeps saying, alcohol does not help, it hinders and twists our thinking. keep at it, love yourself and be strong xxx :l