Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

[fragileflower]

Hi all,
I am fairly new here, been lurking for a couple weeks. I am on day 3 AF. I am needing some advice and support....

My hubby just got laid off last Friday. It wasn't a surprise; we knew it was coming for several months. I guess one reason I relapsed into to drinking was to escape from the anxiety.

I realize I have to deal with this without using Demon Alcohol. But not sure how...I go to AA but can't really bring it up there...not supposed to talk about personal problems; supposed to stick with talking about the steps/recovery.

I am still working, and my DH will be getting unemployment benefits. However, they are horribly low in my state ($275 a week). Also, the job market in my area is HORRIBLE...over 12% unemployment rate (probably acutally higher).

Money is going to very tight. Hopefully I can keep up paying for the supplements I am taking. Of course, drinking is more expensive...definitely a good reason to quit. I was spending probably about $20-$25 a week on cheap vodka or beer. But I'd really like to be able to continue to take my supplements and eat very healthy food.

I was just wondering if anyone had any words of wisdom...maybe some of you have been through this or are going through it right now.

Thanks so much!
fragileflower

[Doggygirl]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

Hi fragile. I feel bad for you and so many people who are in this horrid situation with the job market. I wish I had a magic wand sometimes.

Mean time, just trying to think positively about what you CAN do. It's great that you still have a job (so it could be worse!) and that you are 3 days AF. AL would NOT help the situation and just cloud your thinking and judgement. And probably bring on a hefty dose of AL despression. Nothing AL has to offer will be helpful at all to the situation.

I also go to AA and find the companionship there to be comforting. How long have you been going? Have you hooked up with a sponsor and/or made friends with anyone you could confide in? Sometimes local people who are more objective than we are (when we are in the middle of a scary problem) can really help - just talking about things. So I suggest don't stop going there - do whatever helps you stay sober!

Have you sat down to figure out a workable budget? You are right that the money you save on AL can be a huge benefit, and MORE than pay for your supplements that help you stay sober. If I were in your shoes, I would give up something else if I could, before I cut anything out of my budget that helps me stay sober.

You might be surprised how many things that we THINK we can't live without are really not "must haves" when we get right down to it. My husband and I are self employed so had a rather rough year financially last yet - equivalent to about a 40% pay cut. Believe me - I figured out lots of stuff that I didn't really have to have after all!!!

You can do this. Stay calm and don't drink. Then you can work on your plans.

:l

DG

[cuckoosnest83]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

Hi fragile. I have no words of advice other than to echo what DG said. Alcohol will only contribute to the problem. Wish I could offer some better suggestions.

[Marshy]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

Hi fragileflower,

:welcome:

I also echo what Doggygirl said.

I'm wondering about your AA meeting when you say you're not supposed to talk about your problems. That's ALL we do at mine :H Well, mainly. People let off steam about whatever is on their mind. Maybe try some other meetings that have a different ethos? I'm no expert on the different types of meetings, but maybe if you're going to a specific step meeting you're supposed to keep on topic, whereas if you go to, say, a speaker meeting it's different.

How do things look in your husband's field for finding another job?

[spuddleduck]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

hey flower, sorry to hear about hubby. i got made redundant last year and did a hell of a lot of drinking. guess what ... it didnt help one little bit. just about surviving financially. just think of the money you will save by not drinking










































hey flower, sorry to hear about hubby. i lost my job last year and did a hell of a lot of drinking. guess what... it didnt help one little bit.. and made me quite unpleasant to be around. im just about surviving financially so thats good. just thnk of the money you will save by not drinking xx

[mama bear]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

I am in Jacksonville,where are u? I turned to beer when my husband's company collapsed...it does NOT HELP!!!
I am here for you!!

[the bellinator]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

keep positive

I echo what others have said.....some things you don't have control of. Keep positive and do what you CAN do. Try to stay active and on "your program" as now is the worst time to start drinking--it's expensive. Everything will work out.

:l

[greeneyes]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

Fragile, I ditto what DG said. Solid things for you to think about and do to move in a positive direction.

[fragileflower]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

mama bear;814606 wrote: I am in Jacksonville,where are u? I turned to beer when my husband's company collapsed...it does NOT HELP!!!
I am here for you!!

Hi Mamabear,
Sorry to hear about your husband's company...
I am in the Tampa Bay area...I think there are quite a few FL people here if I'm not mistaken.

To mamabear and everyone else...thanks so much...you all rock!:thanks:

[IAD]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

Fragile.....I know it's tough but think how bad things would be with the added problem of Alcohol...... Hang in their.....something will come up. We are always here for support ! IAD

[redhibiscus]

Hubby just laid off...not sure how I'll cope

Fragile Flower,
Sorry to hear about your husband being laid off. Money problems are tough. I agree with the others in that drinking is expensive, makes things worse, and contributes to depression. We live in a scary time as I do not know what part of the country is doing well economically.

My husband lost his job in 2008 and although working now, he makes 75% less than he used to and our bills did not go down. I just received a pay cut but still have a job. Taking good care of yourself, living more simply, what else can you do? I go to the library for books and movies, take walks, and look in the paper for free community activities. Sending you strength and hope.