Coming back...please just one day

[middlepathpilgrim]

Can't get even one day under my belt! Forget mod. I'm drinking a litre of white wine a night. Nothing in me is trying yet everything around me needs it. Okay... tomorrow is another day. Bottle in me, husband at a late meeting, child asleep, will do the cds. "Clearing" will be best since I'm this side of taking myself out.

Why can't I make it one freaking day?

G

[KatieB]

Coming back...please just one day

Hi..
You have to have some confidence in yourself.. you CAN do it! You need to motivate yourself.. maybe write a list of why you want to change, and write another list of the negatives to drinking so much.. take one day at a time, and come on here and read and post, and that way you can learn from others how you can do this..
Wishing you the best and sending you positive vibes..
K xx

[Boss.man]

Coming back...please just one day

Calm down. Relax. It's not you at all! It's the chemical.

I was you for a long time. I remember having a fit with myself, over drinking, in the kitchen of my first house, before I met my first spouse. That would have been about 1987 or so. And I drank, a lot, until last year. So 22 years of frustration. Trying to gain traction.

This site was a huge help for me. To hear that I wasn't alone. To see that my struggles weren't unusual.

Another thing that helped for me was to gain an understanding of how Alcohol impacts the brain. Our brains have many parts. Sometimes we can call them voices. That doesn't mean we are multiple personalities. It just means that it's ok to start isolating the voices and understanding their motives.

Our intellectual brain, the one with logic, language and self awareness, uses dopamine for a neurotransmitter. Alcohol impacts this part by numbing it and putting it to sleep. Bye bye logic.

Our mood brain is an older version. Called the "Lizard Brain", or Amygdala, it uses a totally different set of transmitters. It controls moods and also autonomic functions like breathing and adrenaline "Fight or Flight" reactions. Alcohol has an effect of stimulating this part, pushing the "reward" button.

So the purpose of the "lizard brain" is to reward the body for catching a good meal, or procreating successfully, or accomplishing a difficult task. This part of the brain is key to feelings of success, pleasure from sex, gambling and cheating among other things. Non alcoholic chemical pushes can be done using Chocolate, and drugs. Basically all addictions come from stimulating the lizard brain.

The lizard brain has some interesting qualities. For one; it doesn't sleep. It's on 24x7 and can impact dreaming. For two; you can't use logic or language. It's like trying to teach a 1 year old child. The child doesn't understand because she doesn't communicate that way. However, the child does indeed communicate, with tantrums and action, if she doesn't get her way.

So what worked for me is to understand this process. To understand that I basically had to conquer a force inside of myself, that was impossible to conquer through logic or intelligence. I had to control my emotional beast.

This site has links to supplements. I recommend trying lots of them to see what works for you. They key of all these approaches is to do one thing. Get up the gumption to dry out for 10 or 30 days. This is such a difficult thing to do I give a huge "Award" to everyone who can do it. Unfortunately, for most of us, we have to do it many times before it sticks. This should not be a stigma or a fault. This beast is just -that- hard to kill. I'd rather be St George with the Dragon, because surely the most terrifying monster is easier to conquer than to fight your own inner emotional soul over a chemical addiction.

It can be done. Some of the people on this site are proof of it. The fact that the site exists is proof of it. The key is to gather information, get your "armor" on, and get ready to do it. This road is not easy and not narrow. Just keep pushing. Just as the problem comes from inside, so too will the solution come inside. All the advice in the world will not conquer this. It will be your personal growth. You need to plant a "non alcohol you" seed, water and cherish it. You need to use your care giver properties to allow the non-alcohol "you" to grow into the mature "you".

I hope this helps. If you want to see a more entertaining post from my own transition days, read this link: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f8...-ii-35612.html. It really is a story, but also gives you a view of my own emotional roller coaster I struggled with. I'm now two months away from my first year.

It can be done, and you can do it. I have every confidence.

[Lavande]

Coming back...please just one day

Middlepathpilgrim,

You CAN do it!
Set yourself up for success. Rid the house of any & all AL. I did it or I might have caved!
Look at your plan & make necessary revisions........be sure you are equipped with all the Tools you need to get through the day!
Have lots of water, herbal tea, etc on hand.
Make the commitment to go just one day AF! Do it & you will feel so much better about yourself!

Give yourself a fighting chance & stay close to the MWO threads. Drop in the Newbies Nest, let us know how you are doing!

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Farm Girl]

Coming back...please just one day

Try again tomorrow - and don't think about what happened today. You can do it - I'm right there with you and it takes everything I have to not pick up a drink. Tomorrow could be the day you are AF from start to finish!

[allswell]

Coming back...please just one day

Not to oversimplify things however drinking can often become a routine and breaking the routine can be difficult. In addition to all of the above helpful information I'd like to suggest finding something else to do during the time you would ordinarily start drinking. If day number one get's too difficult then start with finding something to do to push back the time you would ordinarily start drinking by an hour. Then the next day push it back another hour and so on.

[spuddleduck]

Coming back...please just one day

we musnt forget.. if it was easy we wouldnt be here. if there was a magic wand we would be waving it. its bloody tough and every time we resist.. even for just one minute thats something to be proud about. one minute less for AL to control us. wishing you strength for that minute.. and every one that comes after it x

[mario]

Coming back...please just one day

hi, dont give in,we all know here how hard it is,take it one step at a time,do it by hour then by day,you can do it,when you get your craving come here,we will be all waiting for you to try & help.:-)

[mama bear]

Coming back...please just one day

Thanks Boss man for the beautiful post....the kittens analogy realy stuck with me...
Be strong Pilgrim...I too have just started my journey and am struggling......you can do it....get the supplements, the CD's and the book......I have alswo ordered topamax and am waiting for it to arrive
You have found a wonderful community of unconditional support here....

[Miss October]

Coming back...please just one day

Hi Middle,

I know your struggle well. I am a wine drinker for 26 years, except when I was pregnant. It is SO HARD to give up that wine. You have a lot of support here. You are not alone.

BOSS MAN, once again a truly awesome post. Thank you so much ! I am printing that one out too. And great job on your 10 months of sobriety !! Please stick around. We need YOU and others like you with so much knowledge and wisdom.

[ronaldolover]

Coming back...please just one day

Boss Man....thank you for the post....the kitten story brought me to tears....I will be keeping that one around.....

[mama bear]

Coming back...please just one day

ron...love the new avatar....it is so much happier!!

[middlepathpilgrim]

Coming back...please just one day

Thanks so much everyone! A little better today, but can't really type right now. Too many eyes. Will type more tomorrow am.

Thanks again! You guys are the best!

P.S. Took my topomax, forgot the supps on the table ARRGH!

[Northgirl]

Coming back...please just one day

I know where you are, I also love your honesty, I was doing so well for about, no exactly 16 days, and posted here because I was so shocked and amazed at myself that I had come so far, it had been my first AL free day (let alone 16days) for years, and now I feel I'm back to square one????

I found a great deal of support here, but have been too ashamed to come back and admit my failures, I know its silly, because people dont judge here, its such a great source of support and reassurance, what we want to achieve is NOT impossible, it just takes guts, courage and bloody minded determination, but you have to dig deep to find it, something has to click.......simple hey??? Well not so. I feel like a dieter that has the 'well on Monday all the food will be gone' mentality, and then I'll start!! That isnt me putting dieters down, I'm in the same boat, just making the promising 'oneself' comparison.

I hope that you find that place, stay on here, maybe we might find that 'place' at the same time, and start to live life.

Take Care xxx