preparing in advance

[spuddleduck]

im on day 12 AF and really chuffed and starting to feel better. problem is i have got a few celebration type things coming up, in particular my birthday next month. as long as i can remember, even before drinking became a problem, birthday always involved a good drinking session. hoping very much i will still be AF by then, but im not quite sure how im gonna deal with it. my partner is very supportive of my not drinking ( he hates me drunk). has anyone got any coping strategies for this. its good that im thinking in advance as i know it will be an issue for me. last year i went out for a meal. ended up hardly eating a thing and got stuck into the wine. made an arse of myself and cant remember much. i know this should be enough to not want to do it again but i know AL is gonna be a bitch and try and tempt me. ive got a month to get my head round this. need to get my strategy in place so im ready for it.

[Marshy]

preparing in advance

Hi spuddleduck,

Congrats on the 12 days!
For your birthday, how about doing something where there won't be any alcohol available. Ice skating? Dunno why that springs to mind :H Go karting? You get my drift...

I think going out for a "special" meal inevitably makes people think about drinking, even people who don't have a problem, so I'd avoid that.

As for going to parties, I always had ready in my mind what I wanted to drink, so when I arrived and someone asked what I wanted to drink, I'd say "lemonade, please". No um-ah and letting someone suggest a glass of wine and wavering. Just have it ready to go. There's also the trick of going late (if you can get away with it) and having a set time to leave (say, after an hour) so you know you only have to get through a certain amount of time with people drinking.

I had to totally avoid some social occasions in the early days because I know I would have drunk if I'd gone to them and it just wasn't worth it to me.

[OverIt2007]

preparing in advance

Spud,

This year, as a CHANGE. Give yourself the bestest, most wonderful, amazing, birthday present.. Because you DESERVE it.

Put a BIG GIGANTIC BOW on your SOBRIETY!!!


Also, how bout treating yourself to a nice piece of jewelry as a reward???


I NEVER buy myself anything, but last weekend I treated myself to a beautiful ring. There is a catch. Its a Mothers ring, so when I look at it, I am reminded. Im a mother who needs to be a sober Mom!

[Lavande]

preparing in advance

I avoided a lot of social situations myself in the early days - it was just easier that way! But when I did venture out I did so with my special brand of attitude, know known as 'Lavan-itude'.
No one, no situation is ever going to make me drink & make an ass out of myself again!!!!

Remember, you are in charge now! Your commitment to living a sober life is much more important than any social occasion. Trust me, you really can celebrate anything without AL!

Proud to be living a sober life

Lav

[Funny Girl]

preparing in advance

If people want to get together why not suggest doing something like volunteering at a food pantry or something on a Saturday during the day as their gift to you? Or, maybe do something like 'go cart racing' - hard to drink when your driving one of those little cars. You don't necessarily have to do any of those things, but you get where I'm going. If you can split off with your man & do something NA alone, that would be best, but if you have to include others do something other than dinner at night.

[Funny Girl]

preparing in advance

Oh - I just looked up & see that Marshy suggested go karts too - I guess great minds think alike - so, we agree - keep something that isn't conducive to drinking as an alternative activity. Brilliant idea Marshy!!!

[Chillgirl]

preparing in advance

Spuddle - Im sure we are all the same in associating birthdays with getting absolutely smashed, funny how we thing a celebration should be marked with drinking so much we feel absolutely horrendous for several days afterwards!

Im a real foodie and would therefore enjoy the treat of indulging in all the things I wouldnt normally allow myself.

How about a spa day for your birthday, treat yourself to wonderful pampering so you feel all relaxed and fantastic. Then you could come home and get your favorite takeaway food and watch a good movie on DVD.... Mmmm sounds SO good I think i will celebrate your birthday too :H:H:H

[mollyka]

preparing in advance

Spuddle, your birthday isn't for a few weeks right? I just think another few weeks on top of the AF time you have already you will be in a much stronger place in your head re alcohol. just as an example, my hubby suggested at Christmas that he and I go on a holiday to the sun for a week in March. I nearly died at the thought of it. The idea of going away for a week and not drinking was absolutely unthinkable and unbearable. Fast forward 6 weeks, we booked a hol for the 16th March and I am mad excited about it. There is no question that I would or even want to drink, I know now how much is at stake. Actually I've just read back over this post and it sounds a bit pompous I'd better not drink now or I'll feel like a complete prat!! Have a nice evening
Molly

[overittoday]

preparing in advance

Spuddle congratulation on your 12 days - that is fantastic!:goodjob:
Chill i love your idea - nothing like treating yourself to a day spa, a massage - you will feel wonderful for it.

We live in such a society that we use AL for everything sad and happy. You know what it is like to have a trashed birthday make it an adventure to see what it is like to have a sober one. Make it a challenge for yourself!

Well done for recognising the danger period and thinking ahead...i know that there is anxious and doubt that comes with that and if you are anything like me it will be in your mind until the day is over. I keep telling myself 'I dont drink' that seems to help a little.

We will all have these tempting time it is up to you to find what you can replace it with, this is apart of your personal journey.

Enjoy your 12 days and appreciate how it feels to be sober.
Love and strength with you.:l
P.S. Im 34 days now and have quiet a few of these temptations but i have learnt I must get over these time to live a AL free life. It get easier each time.

[spuddleduck]

preparing in advance

thanks all for ideas. im not doing party stuff (never have done) its really just the party in my head that bothering me. got a few weeks to think about it but im thinking pamper, spa, sauna, (why would i want to drink with all that nice stuff going on). as said if i have a few more AF time under my belt it may not be such an issue. and of course i can treat myself with the money ive saved on booze xxxx :thanks:

[Funny Girl]

preparing in advance

That pampering idea is a real winner in my book - follow it up with some divine special chocolate or something to go with that movie . . . . . mmmmmm . . . . sounds just great!

[spuddleduck]

preparing in advance

definately think im gonna have to give other social drinking events a miss for now.(though i could make any social event into a drinking event, my bottle of pepsi.... with vodka in it) i really dont think i could do it. sure i wont be missed ..... i would have probably been talking gibberish to myself in the corner anyway. my time for AF socialising will come when its time.