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[MamaZum]

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:crap:
I have about 40 min before the kids come from school to do the housework I've been very successfully avoiding all day.

I am signing out now, but will be back tonight to check on you all.

Hang in there! It can only get better.

[NoraC]

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This probably won't help any of you feel better. But I have to confess....I have been on the verge for the past 36 hours wondering how I can possible drink. I want a drink so bad. I must drink. Thank you all for sharing yourselves on this thread. Maybe it was meant to stop some of us that were on the edge. All I can say is THANK YOU! I turned my mind to the bad way it made me feel instead of the good way.
I hope you all start feeling better right away. :l

[janka]

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I am NOT drinking beer today am so anxious ... may take a nap

[the bellinator]

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challenge for those hitting a bump like me

All of us back on day 1.....get on the forum later and let's talk. Let's get ONE DAY under our belt again.:l

[overittoday]

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Hi all,
Sorry to hear that you are all not doing so well....i think this is what is called 'the journey' its a part of getting stronger and moving on. Congratulations for dusting yourselves off and starting again - Well done! sometimes you have to feel this bad to reconfirm why you want to stop. It's not a mistake its progress. I always think of the slogan 'no pain no gain' when i stuff up! the main thing is that you jave realised it.
Love and strength from me - Happy AF Day!

[mama bear]

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thanks guys....I feel better knowing it is not just me.......

[K9Lover]

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I feel better too, knowing I am definitely not alone in this. Sometimes I feel like I am at a loss as to what to do next about this problem that I've been fighting for so long. Already been to the doctor, take Campral, Ativan and Celexa. I've read every book on addiction/recovery that I can find. The only thing I haven't done is personal counseling. Does anyone else feel that short of checking into rehab, they've done everything recommended, and yet, still can't get control over it?

[mama bear]

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the campral isn't helping? maybe you should try Bac or Topamax???

[Doggygirl]

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Hi all. Just want to say that I'm happy to see all of you getting right back on the wagon. That is very important! All we have is today. Yesterday is gone and who knows what tomorrow will bring if and when it comes.

I remember "Day 1" as being pretty miserable for lots of reasons.

* It always involves a hangover. I hate those.
* It means I have to go through the mental and physical process of the early days of sobriety AGAIN. I don't want to keep repeating the same mistakes, and then the same difficult part of recovery over and over and over.
* I can't really begin working on myself and my life to get to a better place until I get a little bit of sober time behind me. I don't want to be stuck in the Day 1,2,3 etc. rut where it's all I can do to not drink. I want to live in the GOOD STUFF.

Knowing that we are not alone on this journey is really important. Knowing that the instanity of this disease/affliction/addiction/whatever-you-like-to-call-it is very important. Making sure we don't band together and then justify and feel good about chosing to drink is also VERY important. I'm sure this isn't what any of you want to hear. I've just seen it happen many many times over the nearly 3 years I've been here.

It's sort of like having workout buddies. That is a GREAT SYSTEM as long as it keeps everyone working out. But if it keeps everyone "justified" in excuses NOT to work out, then the buddy system is no good.

Just some food for thought. Hanging together is great and I would also suggest making sure you connect with sober people in some way to stay balanced and keep your eyes on the prize.

Also, I can't stay sober without a plan. When my original plan failed me, I had to look at that plan again and again and keep tweaking it until I finally had a plan that worked for me. I think we all have to do that. If we keep doing what we've been doing, we will keep getting the results we got.

So what are each of you doing different this time? Hoping not to drink is not an effective plan, IMO.

Strength and hope to each of you! WE CAN DO THIS!!

DG

[mama bear]

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Wow Doggy....good stuff....You are absolutely right.
if I may ask, what was the plan that worked for you. I need a jump start
My plan right now is...
1. trying to find a less stressful, miserable job (if you only knew)
2. I took a picture of my miserable self this morning and will look at it daily or any time I even THINK about drinking.
3. Continue with MWO plan...supplements, vitamins, cd'sand have ordered topamax (it's stuck in customs in New York!!)
4. Continue to come here for support
5. thinking about AA....not sure yet
6. keep on power walking...it's been so darn cold here I have not been motivated
7.continue to read and learn about addiction...this is all new to me
8. remember what hangovers feel like
9. continue to pray
10. continue to be open and honest with hubby....big thing for me...I HATE sneaking....that causes me more remorse than anything
11.recognize triggers...and tell my self "I don't drink" "Alcohol is poison to me.

[the bellinator]

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I hit panic mode every morning when I wake up and realize I was out of control again. There is a really SICK feeling (not nausea) in my stomach that this problem is BIGGER than I can handle.mg

[janka]

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DG great post! Thank u ... I stil feel shakey and scared

[mama bear]

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we are here for you Janka....
I was very agitated today, jittery and tearful. I dumped the cup of coffee I was drinking and made some sleepy time tea and took some kudzu.....now I am so calm I could take a nap.....just an idea??

[janka]

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Thanks I just feel awful and ashamed about my behavior also afraid of seizures

[mama bear]

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STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP....IT'S NOT HELPING ANYTHING..........