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[jessie]

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:lHave any of you ever tried Antabuse? I found that it helped a lot in the early days because then you just can't drink , and it's funny how the mind realizes it. I have run out of stock - which really scares me, as I know I will need it untill I've worked through the under lying issues.
Whatever you do, don't give up.

[K9Lover]

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I have Antibuse in my medicine cabinet at home. I have never taken it. It scares me because anything containing alcohol can trigger the "sickness"...i.e. mouthwash, lotion, certain types of makeup, face creams, etc. Has anyone had any side effects brought on by these everyday products?

[Doggygirl]

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mama bear;816273 wrote: Wow Doggy....good stuff....You are absolutely right.
if I may ask, what was the plan that worked for you. I need a jump start
My plan right now is...
1. trying to find a less stressful, miserable job (if you only knew)
2. I took a picture of my miserable self this morning and will look at it daily or any time I even THINK about drinking.
3. Continue with MWO plan...supplements, vitamins, cd'sand have ordered topamax (it's stuck in customs in New York!!)
4. Continue to come here for support
5. thinking about AA....not sure yet
6. keep on power walking...it's been so darn cold here I have not been motivated
7.continue to read and learn about addiction...this is all new to me
8. remember what hangovers feel like
9. continue to pray
10. continue to be open and honest with hubby....big thing for me...I HATE sneaking....that causes me more remorse than anything
11.recognize triggers...and tell my self "I don't drink" "Alcohol is poison to me.

the bellinator;816276 wrote: I hit panic mode every morning when I wake up and realize I was out of control again. There is a really SICK feeling (not nausea) in my stomach that this problem is BIGGER than I can handle.mg

It's bigger than what I could handle alone too. Until I came to MWO and joined this community, and then later added the AA fellowship, I could not go one day without drinking. For YEARS. I can't even tell you the thousands of mornings I woke up promising I wouldn't drink, only to be drinking by 5PM or 3PM or Noon or Noon somewhere or earlier. Until I was ready to die. But I still couldn't do it alone.

janka;816277 wrote: DG great post! Thank u ... I stil feel shakey and scared

So did I. So did most if not all of us I bet. It's scary and it's hard but you can do it anyway. If I can, you can.

The plan that got me 60 days of AF was doing EXACTLY what is outlined in the My Way Out book, with the exception of Topomax (or any other prescription meds). I am not against prescription meds in general, and the various ones out there sure help a lot of people. I'm just personally funny about not wanting to take prescription meds - that's just me. I came to this forum and read and posted lots.

I failed to "get" that I was not special or different. I did not "get" that EVERYONE fantasizes about drinking again, having only one, thinking they are "fixed now" and can "mod now." None of that is true for the vast majority of us, but that's what our addicted minds tell us.

I thought I was special and fixed and I drank. And then I paid for it for 8 months.

Then I finally got back to doing the exactly program I did for that first 60 days, only this time with the knowledge that I was NOT special and I could NOT mod and that I would NOT EVER be "fixed" or able to drink again.

* All the supplements bought from here
* All the diet recommendations especially no sugar or starchy / empty carbs
* 5 days per week exercise
* Hypno CD's (if I was hit and miss with anything, it was this)
* Reading / posting here for accountability

At 8.5 months sober, I was extremely fearful of relapse still, and I hated feeling that way. I had watched the personal growth demonstrated by a couple of people from here who also go to AA, so I checked it out. Now AA is another part of my plan. I attend meetings 6 days a week unless I'm sick or something. I love it because while I respect the fact that one drink will take me right back to the dark hole, I no longer spend a lot of time in fear of it. AA has been a gift in that regard. I am gaining tools that are helping me live in CONTENTED SOBRIETY which is vastly different than just not drinking. I have also made a slew of new friends - REAL friends. Not like the old drinking buddies who just use each other for *whatever* and drinking is the common bond. (I work the AA program as suggested)

I have tweaked the supplementation some as I learn more about what my body needs. That changes a bit after a couple of years of good nutrition, exercise, and no booze.

That's my plan. I'm nowhere near perfect with it every day with the exception of the one thing I DO get perfect each day, and MUST get perfect each day. I don't drink. Not a drop. Not ever. The rest of it is just a work in progress.

A mistake I see people make is trying to wait for everything else in life to get perfect, and thinking that will somehow make stopping drinking just happen.

1) Life will never be perfect.
2) Stopping drinking never "just happens" at least not with anybody I know of.

Whatever realities life presents for better or worse, AL makes it ALL worse each and every time.

Gratitude is an important tool for me. I could have a pity party because business is slow with this economy. Instead I try to be grateful that we HAVE business because there are a lot of people who don't have a job at all right now.

I'm grateful to be sober and unhungover each day.

I'm grateful I have my health, or a pretty high degere of it.

I'm grateful I somehow avoided the consequences of heavy drinking that I deserved - DUI's and even death.

Etc.

You can do this. It's hard. With all the love in my heart, I say stop any pity party inclinations and get busy doing whatever you have to do to not drink.

Lots of people here at MWO have successfully used Antabuse as a tool. Determinator comes to mind as one of them. Marshy also used Antabuse to help her. I'm sure if those of you concerned about the risks of taking antabuse could PM either of those two and they would be happy to give you some advice. Don't ever be afraid to reach out to the sober people with questions. Any questions. We all stick around to stay sober ourselves, and to help newcomers.

:b&d:

YOU CAN!!

DG

[JackieClaire]

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Doggygirl,
Absolutely fantastic post. I can relate to everything you said.

I can truly, hand on heart say I never, never want another day 1 in my life.

It's not easy, but you have to work at it.

J x

:l

[mama bear]

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Doggy
thanks SO much....that was very moving and helps me immensly......I will print it and cherish it....A light bulb just went off in my head
thanks for taking the time to write this....you have helped another person today

[the bellinator]

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dg--you are fantastic. You make some awesome points! I plan to read them many times tonight then go to bed. Love to all!

[Farm Girl]

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Bellinator - I tell myself I can't change anything that happened one minute ago but I can change the next minute a head of me. This is hard as hell, I am drinking NA beers, which I know for some is not the answer, but brain will accept them and it makes it easier me.

Hope your today is better than yesterday - don't be hard on yourself, it happens to all of us and half the battle is recognizing our addiction and keep fighting it all the time

[MamaZum]

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Doggy...wow!
So true, every word you said!

[MamaZum]

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DAY 2

Good morning!

Bell and all, how good it feels to get up clear headed! Hooray! Lets do 2nd Day AF.

Have a great day and check in.

MZ

[Doggygirl]

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Just want to wish you guys an awesome Day 2. Don't give in. You can do it. No more Day 1's, OK?

DG

[mama bear]

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Yes mommy....I just printed your post from last night and put in it my wallet....you have an extra star in heaven now...:h:h

[janka]

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hi everyone ... hope things are better for Day 2 AF ... im still shakey and sweaty but a bit better ... too much stress

[Funny Girl]

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congrats Janka - sounds like things are better for you - keep coming back here it will help. Start thinking of ways to fill your time, as well.

[janka]

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i know this place is a blessing was af for several months in 2007-2008 with help from people here

[the bellinator]

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No more day 1's.........

I also read the book cover to cover, bought the starter pack, and ordered some topomax. I will beat this hairy thing!

Love to all!