Introducing myself

[papmom3]

Hi Everyone,
I just found this site yesterday while I was home sick from work a second day due to hangovers. I am 53, but I'm single and childless except for my furkids who I love to death but know I'm not doing right by them. I'm too tired in the morning to take them for a walk and when I get home at nite all I can think about is that first glass of wine and how good I'll feel. Unfortunately it always turns into 5 or 6 until I pass out. Sometimes I wake up at 3am with heart pounding, sweats, stuffy nose etc; sometimes I sleep straight through but I know it isn't a good sleep. When I do go AF (like last nite), I know my sleep will be fitful.
I don't believe I will be able to moderate. I think I'm going to have to be an abstainer.
In 10 days I will undergo my first endoscopy and colonoscopy. The GI doc knows how much I drink and when he asked me why I drink so much, I told him it's the only way I know how to relax after a long day of 2 jobs. Actually I have 3 but not on the same day.
He told me I need to find another way to relax. I'm really scared what the results of these 2 tests will show. I have horrible ARD and I'm scared he's going to find cancer or precancer in the esophogus. He told me cutting back on the AL would solve many of my medical problems: 40 lbs overweight, HBP, ARD, and maybe even my asthma.
I just downloaded the pdf of the book and ordered the hypnosis CDs. I've never tried hypnosis but I'm willing to give it a try. Tomorrow I will try to find L-glusomine.
I've been reading the posts for most of yesterday afternoon and this morning. Last nite I thought about running out to get a bottle of wine, but I looked sufficiently horrible after being in bed all day that I didn't.
So that's my story so far. Thanks for being here. Oh, out of curiousity-has anyone ever heard of the Addiction facility Passages in Malibu? I'm almost done reading his book "The Alcohol and Addiction Cure" and am finding it very interesting. Although I don't know how much a month of treatment costs there, I'm sure I can't afford it. I found MWO quite by accident yesterday while googling treatment for alcohol dependency.
Thanks for listening.
Pam

[sisley]

Introducing myself

Hello there, Im Sisley..and i found this site just 17 days ago, it has been a godsend..the best thing, it's helped more than anything Ive ever tried...Good luck to ya, there are alot of great folks here w/some
awesome suggestions..and you can come on anytime day or night and you'll get support..Keep up the good work..just keep blogging and reading everything you can here...good luck to ya, be looking forward to hearing about your progress...God Bless...Sisley!!

[mama bear]

Introducing myself

Hi Papmom and welcome
we are all here with you and are all facing the same demons....
Be strong and post often...good luck with your tests!

[OverIt2007]

Introducing myself

Hi PapMom!!!!


Cute Puppies!!! Welcome here!! You are amongst a bunch of friends who really want to help you in your journey to have a better life.

Looking forward to hearing more about you! There is tons of great advice on here, keep reading and posting.

[Anotherday]

Introducing myself

:welcome:

Pam,

It's so good to "meet" you. I am 50, no kids, with furbabies I love dearly, yet knowing I should be a better mommy. Same deal - no walks, yet lots of love.

I can feel for you going to the Dr. I too had the endoscopy done - same fear of cancer. It turned out to be negative yet I have persisted drinking and smoking and I feel horribly guilty and fearful. I imagine you might feel some of this too. You are not alone. Oh, and I've gained 60 lbs in the past two years, developed high blood pressure and asthmatic too.

I have heard of Passages. I am sure it is quite expensive, however, I do know that some of the rehabs in CA may be willing to cut someone a deal on the cost if someone says they want to go there but can only afford X amount. At least when I went to rehab in CA I discovered this. I was cut a "deal" myself. I am not sure Passages would do this, but worth a try. In this economy, most cannot afford a lot of money for rehab.

Hang in there and so happy you found this site. PM me anytime if you want to talk.

AD

P.S. Are those Pommies? I always wanted a Pomeranian. I have two Shih Tzus myself.

[KateH1]

Introducing myself

Hi PMom3 and Welcome to My Way Out,
OK....so, when I found mwo in Sept of 2007, I was researching Passages and other rehabs. I liked the idea of rehabing in Malibue, on the beach great food and a spa! But, alas, 40K a month was a bit out of my budget! Well......Way out of my budget! At that time, I too was drinking at least one bottle of wine per night, more on weekends and over the last few months, I had begun to add vodka to the mix! Though I was still working at a high level job, and getting excellent reviews....I was a mess! Something had to give, because my rapid spiral downward was escalting!

My Way Out, has been the answer for me! It really works, if you work hard and stay focused. Congratulations on downloading the book, it is the first step! Make your plan, ask questions and comitt to your Own Recovery......you will have many to support you here! Many here have had great success with our addictions here! I can tell you that I am happily living sober and would not want to live any other way!

Good luck on your medical tests! And....I will look forward to seeing you here!

Best Wishes,
Kate

[Lavande]

Introducing myself

Hi Papmom,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
Glad to hear you have the book, it's very helpful. The CDs are great, really helped me out a lot, I still use them from time to time. You should have no problem finding the L-Glutamine wherever supplements are sold.

Please feel free to drop in the Newbies Nest thread for some extra support. Lots of folks there just getting started as well.

Wishing you the best on your journey!

Lav

[papmom3]

Introducing myself

thanks everyone for the warm welcome!! I'm so glad others have heard of Passages and Kate-thanks for cluing me in on the cost!! 40K per month!! that's almost a year's salary for me!! So, I guess that's out.
This morning I went shopping and got all my supplements except the All One. Couldn't find it except at a natural food store but he only had the original and that has the high iron which I don't need. So, I guess I'll order it straight from the website. Everything was so expensive!! I spend well over $70 and I doubt it all covers even a month! I just had to tell myself that I spend way more than that on wine every month.
I do have a couple of questions:
1. Can I start the supplements without the All One powder?
2. Do I HAVE to go on the meds (topopax, Wellbrutin etc) or can i try just using the supplements and tapes?
3. Do others see a psychologist or psychiatrist in addition to the program? In the Addiction Cure book he says that if you can figure out why you drink, you won't want to or need to anymore. Can it really be that easy?

I guess that's it for now. I'm going to harness up the pups and take them for a nice long walk at the college up the street from me. BTW, they are Papillons, not Poms albeit big ones-I call them Papzillas!!

[JackieClaire]

Introducing myself

Hi Pmom3,
I didn't take any of the meds, just the L-glut recommended here. I also added milk thistle and a daily B1 dose. Didn't take the All in One either.
But I did see a therapist over my anxiety issues which started way before my drinking issues.

There's a new member called spuddleduck seeing someone she calls her 'drink shrink'.

And the cost of all of this is so much less than I was spending on whatever I was drinking.

As for 40K for treatment at what looks like a luxury hotel I really don't know what to say, apart from I wish I'd thought of it

J x
:l

[KateH1]

Introducing myself

Hi Again!
Good for you, getting right to it! No doubt, you will get a lot of suggestions and examples of how we each found Our Way Out.....the fantastic part of MWO is that their are many success stories found through several different paths. You know yourself, and you know what sounds right to you!

Yes, you can start the supps without the all in one. Though the All in One, gives you all the nutrients needed for well balanced nutritional supplementation. Kudzu and L-Glutamine both help with cravings, quite honestly, I now believe that L-Glut is the best of the two and it is very inexpensive and readily available. Omega, 3,6 and 9 is great for mood enhancement! Part of withdrawal is mood swings! But, it passes.

I did not choose the Rx drug approach. I chose, supps, meditation, exercise and reading. During my first few weeks of sobriety, I read books about other women that were going through times of reflection and change...."A Year by the Sea" by Joan Anderson and "Eat, Pray, Love".....and "Wishful Drinking" by Carrie Fisher...gosh...check out the What We're Reading section, you will get tons of ideas!

As for Therapy or seeing a Psychologist, I have spent time in therapy and I believe that it really helped. But, I did this a while back to deal with PSD from serious trauma. If you are thinking about therapy, you can always try a visit or two and see what you think!

I am so excited by your enthusiasm and getting down to business attitude....please feel free to step into the monthly Abs section.....lots of great people and great info and encouragement there!

Well Done!
Kate

[papmom3]

Introducing myself

It's 9:20 and I have just finished reading the first two chapters of the MWO book and I am astounded once again to find that all my rationalizations, tricks, way of thinking were not unique. I never got to the point where I would drink during the day-no matter how bad I felt, the hair of the dog was just too out there for me-but I counted the minutes until my "drinking" hour of 5pm arrived. I don't have kids so I didn't break any promises that I might have made when I was drinking that evening BUT, I can't tell you how many times I "forgot" to feed the furkids because it was too much effort to interupt my drinking rhythm. All of a sudden it was morning and I had no memory of the end of the night. "Did I feed them or not? I can't remember." "Did I let them out for one last pee?" I guess not since there is a puddle on the kitchen floor. So I did break promises-the promises I made to them when I adopted them to take care of them and keep them healthy and safe. So that is my dirty little secret-mild neglect of my animals. I hope they forgive me.

I took my first round of supplements after dinner and am looking forward to a nice cup of decaf tea, Calm Forte, an oatmeal raisin cookie (or 2) and a lighthearted book in bed. The dogs/cats have been fed, pottied I am actually tired after a day running around finding all the supplements and pricing CD players with an alarm clock and nocse cancelling headadphones. I can't wait for the CDs to arrive-it will be my first experience with hypnotherapy and I am eager to try it.

I hope everyone had as nice a day as I had and is looking forward to a new day tomorrow.
Oh yes, i did accomplish 2 goals today: walking the dogs and shopping. The housework will have to wait until tomorrow LOL!!

Pam and the furkids :bedtime:

[Anotherday]

Introducing myself

Wow, Pam! You had a great day! Time to tuck the little ones in and sleep. Sleep well!

[Winefree]

Introducing myself

Great start and attitude Pam. Keep it up, you are doing all the right things to beat this.
I too read and read any book on the subject I could get my hands on. Even started to go to the library to save some money on buying the books if I could. I ordered the All-One from and on-line store that had it the cheapest and free shipping. Google it. Yes, it is costly, but it lasts a couple of months and really seems to help replace the vitamins we are missing from all the AL.
I never used the topa or any of those, just the kudzu and l-glut. Calms forte to help sleep, the cd's were a god send in the beginning too and I stilll use them on occasional sleeplessness.
I also went to AA and found it to be a great supplement to MWO and started therapy once a week, which was no where near $40K(ridiculous).

AF since May 2, 2010. NEVER THOUGHT IT POSSIBLE.
You are on the right track. Stick to it. IT CAN BE DONE.

Winefree

[Funny Girl]

Introducing myself

Hi Pam - Welcome - I think you'll do well here. Read the book. the supplements do help. The Kudzu helped me a lot. I did start cutting back on the supplements & then completely stopped drinking when I began taking the topamax. I've been AF for 13 full days now. It's unbelievable to me. I've been doing really well so far. My guess is if you dont want to do meds, supplements may be enough - I felt I needed the extra help to be successful. Others here have done it without meds though & have used diet and excercise to help. No matter what - coming out here to the site helps a lot. I found a lot of support & some good ideas to keep focused & sane out here.

Good luck to you. Keep coming back - the people are great.

[spuddleduck]

Introducing myself

pam-- just looked at pic of your furry friends. beautiful. are they pappions (spelling???) my freind has one and her mum breeds them. lovely little cuties with big attitude. wishing you well x