Here we go again

[ATLThrash]

Well, I had some wine last night. Not a ton but some when I was hoping that I could go with none. I read alot about the moderating and I am pretty sure that if I have a issue which I think I do-- that that is not going to work for me. I am still struggling with my sprain so getting around has been especially bad this week-- not the best time to not be able to move alot! I think I am going to have to have another big talk with my husband-- and I dread that-- I am sure he will support me but i am (again-- story of my life lately) ashamed that I even have to ask that all alcohol be removed from my presence. Does this ever get any easier? And did anyonme have something similar where they asked their spouse to stop then in time were able to stand to have it around so the spouse could have his one drink a day? Also -- and I have been dreading this-- my husband plays on 3 hockey teams and is Irish-- every year for his teams we host a big St Pat's party that is full of beer and food-- it is one of the things he really looks forward to doing with his money yearly and of course that is coming up next weekend. I am just thinking next week may be very tough for me! Plus a doctor visit on continuing concussion symptoms with a doctor that I find somewhat judgmental and distasteful-- I have not told him abotu hte drinking because I am sure he would treat it as a moral weakness and at this point I am just hoping to get in and out without falling apart. Since the health issue of the concussion stuff is pretty serious I can't just quit going to the doctor since there are medicines that my brain needs to get well-- so I can't find another doctor and leave myself in the lurch while watiting to get in with them....AARGH! Any help is appreciated!

[mollyka]

Here we go again

Hi ATL
Just saw this post from yesterday and the first thing that struck me is that you are overwhelmed by problems getting in the way of sobriety. You say you need to have 'another big talk' with your husband so I assume he knows how worried you are about your drinking so if he is supportive of your aims, the drink will go from the house (if that's what you need) and the party will be cancelled. If he is not supportive that's another matter, you could tell him you can't be around for the party and stay with friends/rellys for the night? Drink in the house, throw it out and insist if he wants supplies he keeps them somewhere for himself.
Yes your doctor doesn't sound like he will be supportive but you do need him to finish out the concussion stuff, still doesn't stop you at least cutting down until you are in a position to safely change doctors.
Don't be ashamed of your situation - better be angry that any substance can get our lives into such a muddle and go for it, this site really helps, factually and emotionally, to me it is a lifeline. Keep posting:wavin:

[mario]

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hi ATL welcome,you must give yourself a chance to stop drinking,its impossible to keep everyone else happy and sort out your own problem,At this time the main priority is you,set out your goals,write them down and put a plan that you can work from,keep posting you are not alone.

[Anotherday]

Here we go again

Please continue going to your Dr. Was the concussion due to drinking? While I'd encourage you to be honest with your Dr, there is no reason he or she has to know the concussion was due to drinking. I once broke my toe while drunk and told my Dr. I wish I had not. At the same time, I did come clean with him years later and he was not judgmental at all. It's your call. What matters is treating the concussion.

Re: your husband, well, I don't have one of those so it's hard for me to put myself in your place. However, maybe you could "not feel well" the day of the party and remove yourself and post here instead? I know it looks like a barrier there.

Hang in there, this thing can be beat!

[ATLThrash]

Here we go again

Good ideas

I actually talked to him. The alcohol is gone now from the house-- the party is still on but one thing he mentioned that is a good idea is for me to be the sole one to be in the children's room (there will be other adults there too so I will not have them all alone) but I will not drink in front of them. Then after it is over I am going to get my husband to put all the beer in a big cooler and move it somewhere that I don't know then take it to hockey and distribute it after. The concussion was not alcohol related-- it was total fluke-- I was cleaning a nonventilated bathroom, got hot, fainted and hit my head on the tub-- the bathroom wassmall so the force of that propelled me back into teh vanity-- I had to relearn a bunch of stuff and could not exercise for months. Teh main after effects are my inability to sleep well and severe migraines. In fact except for me not losing weight like I want to and having some stomach issues that I am sure are worse due to alcohol-- I have not had a alcohol related injury or accident-- but I am sure it was just a matter of time if I kept on. I really never drank much until about 4 years ago and then it got MUCH worse around November 2009 (though I still think it was not that good before). I am going to the appt because I am not running from problems anymore-- he does not need to know what is going on with me being alcohol free or not and I hope next time I can go to a colleague of his that I know to be compassionate. When I have had periods of no alcohol before in the past few months I have always told my husband that if I should have a bad reaction to call this other neuro-- he is just a busy one who placed my care in the hands of this associate when he got promoted to head of neuro at the hospital. I think I will just tell his office that I will not continue with the practice if I cannot see the other doc.

On another note-- I took topamax for migraine prevention and I did not really drink much at all then and was very thin-- but after my baby was born my hormones made the drug not work for the migraines so they switched me. So it may ereally work for the cravings-- of course-- I never craved alcohol much until after my child was born and I had such anxiety and loneliness. Thanks all!