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    #1

    Willpower

    I just wanted to raise the question/topic about willpower.. and I am interested in hearing ppl's opinions on this..
    Do you think stopping to drink AL is merely a question of willpower?
    A book I am reading at the moment: "Allen Carr's easy way to Control Drinking".. talks about how in fact people who end up hooked on AL are strong-willed, in that we resist the fact AL can destroy our health, mental functioning etc.. and decide to drink anyway.. that is what makes ppl who end up dependent on AL strong-willed..
    I was curious as to other ppl's thoughts on this..
    "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

    :groupluv:
    Tags: None
    #2
    Willpower

    Hi Katie!

    Hmmm, that certainly is an interesting take on things. I've often wondered if people who get addicted to AL and keep drinking don't have some kind of death wish myself.

    I think it takes willpower to stop and stay stopped. Not sure about drinking though.

    AD

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      #3
      Willpower

      I think for me willpower is a big issue.....I can do all the right things, meds, etc, but if I want a drink I will have one....I have always been self indulgent, my hubby says I have abandoment issues from childhood...i was taken away from my birth mother at three and was not adopted until 13, but who knows.....
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

      Comment

        #4
        Willpower

        nice flower katie b. i dont think willpower alone is enough.

        Comment

          #5
          Willpower

          Kate - I dont like the word willpower as I think it conjures up having to so something really difficult. When people think "willpower" it scares the hell out them and they probably convince themselves they will fail before they begin.

          For me I changed my thinking towards AL as in the Allen Carr method and if you really believe it, it makes the process so much easier, I even started to dislike the smell of AL! I have studied some NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and so I understand how by changing the way we see something we can actually reprogram our minds.

          I recurring aspect of AL addiction which I kept noticing was that so many people affected were self confessed "control freaks". I have to say im quite fascinated by this and would love to hear some oppinions on why this might be the case. So far I managed to come up with one theory which could be that because we are control freaks maybe we needed the escapism of AL more than others but hopefully it also means we are more determined to take back control of our lives.....
          "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
          AF - JAN 1st 2010
          NF - May 1996

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            #6
            Willpower

            I understand what Allen Car is trying to say here - bascially people with strong will power will always think that they can stop any time they like so dont see the early danger signs as they dont think they are been affected. I also agree with Chill that control freaks are also more likely to drink as there way to relax there complusive need to always be in control. I think both are qualities that we need but taken to the extreme can bring alot of unbalanced issues in your life.

            I like the sound of that neuro linguistic programming im all for reprogramming old beliefs and behaviours. I am doing a 21 day to beat any habit coure it is a work book and all CD which you download and listen to.

            The four areas that you cover are:
            Self Discover, Self Inventory, Self Motivation and Self Change.
            Within each section there are written exercises that you do to understand how the habit was formed, what gave it life and how to change those habits.
            If you want to find out more PM me happy to send you the link etc
            Liquid MISERY guaranteed to distroy.

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              #7
              Willpower

              If you are ready to change then you will find the willpower you need. Generally the resources we need to change our lives can be found within us, they can be accessed when they are needed. This is true for all of us, not just a privileged few.

              It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
              James Gordon


              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

              Comment

                #8
                Willpower

                I don't want to be controversial here but I think willpower is very important and I don't think its something you either have or haven't got I think you have to work on it - yes it is work, this isn't easy. I just wonder reading some threads is there a bit of an over reliance on aids (meds etc.) and the attention may be diverted from strength within and if the aids don't work thats it? Of course medical aid should be used when required, I used them at the beginning as well but I did feel I was only taking responsibility when I eventually cut free and started thinking for myself - just a thought, sorry if I've upset anyone!
                Molly
                Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                  #9
                  Willpower

                  mario;821879 wrote: If you are ready to change then you will find the willpower you need. Generally the resources we need to change our lives can be found within us, they can be accessed when they are needed. This is true for all of us, not just a privileged few.

                  It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                  James Gordon
                  I think this is very true, I would add to that the belief that we can. I know that I have spent of lot of time telling myself I can't do things, am useless and so on, being my own worst enemy!

                  So, wanting to change more than staying as we are, believing that we can and then being our own best support is key to my mind.
                  I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Willpower

                    i always think i have no willpower whatsover, but somehow i am on day 21AF (yippee). maybe i do have willpower. i dont really know. apart from the physical stuff (shakes, sweating etc) im trying to change my thinking about AL. is this willpower, i dont know, whatever it is im grateful for it. good point to bring up, im sure everyone will have different thoughts on this.
                    Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
                    Keep passing the open windows

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                      #11
                      Willpower

                      Interesting points on control freaks. I am a TOTAL control freak! But there is always one aspect of my life that appears to be out of my control....at the moment (and for a long while) it's been AL.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Willpower

                        Hmmm interesting. Personally, I do not think its a matter of willpower. With all the misery drinking has brought me over the years, I would not wish the personal Hell I have gone through on my worst enemy. I have been in the pits of depression all due to drinking, and have had the most devestaing panic attacks due to drinking.

                        Im not a person who hates myself, Im really not. So why would I choose to return back to the thing that has caused me so much pain in life? I believe I had an addiction and no matter how much "willpower" I tried to have to beat it, I would go back thinking I could beat it.


                        How I am beating it now? (day 22 AF or something). I honestly have NO IDEA! I dont think I am doing it by "willpower". It never worked before, so why would willpower now?

                        Im actually thinking that my getting sober is a miracle at this point!!!

                        Overit

                        P.S. I just read Spuddleducks post. We are almost same time AF and I think we feel same way about willpower.
                        I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

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                          #13
                          Willpower

                          no offense Molly...couldn't agree more....have to have your head in the right place......and only you can do that...but meds can help get you there when you are struggling...
                          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                          Live in the Solution....not the problem

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Willpower

                            OverIt2007;822054 wrote: Hmmm interesting. Personally, I do not think its a matter of willpower. With all the misery drinking has brought me over the years, I would not wish the personal Hell I have gone through on my worst enemy. I have been in the pits of depression all due to drinking, and have had the most devestaing panic attacks due to drinking.

                            Im not a person who hates myself, Im really not. So why would I choose to return back to the thing that has caused me so much pain in life? I believe I had an addiction and no matter how much "willpower" I tried to have to beat it, I would go back thinking I could beat it.


                            How I am beating it now? (day 22 AF or something). I honestly have NO IDEA! I dont think I am doing it by "willpower". It never worked before, so why would willpower now?

                            Im actually thinking that my getting sober is a miracle at this point!!!

                            Overit

                            P.S. I just read Spuddleducks post. We are almost same time AF and I think we feel same way about willpower.
                            Hi Overit,

                            Interesting comments. I think there maybe willpower involved here.

                            We have all come to the same conclusion that we CANNOT continue on our current path.

                            The fact that you are not drinking shows you have strength and shows you have the power to change. Is that not willpower?

                            I think "willpower" has an odd reputation at the moment. I think of it as a scrawny little me, hiding in a corner, cowering away from a big bottle of wine. But surely taking control of your own life and making a change is also will power.

                            Credit were credit is due.

                            Good on ya, Over it!

                            Spam xx

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Willpower

                              Spam...u sound so strong and in control that i cannot imagine a scrawny, cowering u at all!!!


                              and I love the Aussie phrase....Good on ya!!! I actually said it at work the other day and everyone looked at me like I was crazy!!
                              I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                              Live in the Solution....not the problem

                              Comment

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