Back to Square Zero..

[KatieB]

Back to Square Zero..

Thank you all so so much for your wonderful words of encourgement and support!
I felt quite embarrased admitting to you all the fact I had bought 2 bottles of wine last week (LAST week now..! - past tense already..), especially as I was reporting in saying I was doing so well and did not expect myself to slip up so easily..
Thank you AD - it's true, at least I did buy low AL wine. I did not buy AL these times with the purpose of getting drunk - which is a huge achievement for me.. I just bought it to help myself pass the time and feel relaxed.. but I know that AL is not the way and I have to come up with some more ideas, like overittoday has suggested..
MB - the court case is 2 weeks today.. I will come on here the night before and get telepathed to you so you can snarl for me LOL :H
What I do know for sure is that the wine did NOTHING for me at all.. it just made me tired and a teeny bit depressed.. that's why I went to bed early and did not come on here again or do anything much.. it stopped me from enjoying my usual sunday night tv programmes as I was so tired!
I have learnt alot.. way more than before.. next time I feel lonely when I don't have my little boy, I will come on here and talk you all.. you are ALL fantastic!
Thanks again :l
Katie xx
p.s I won't use the term "square zero" anymore either! Day 1, onwards and upwards..!

[papmom3]

Back to Square Zero..

Hi KatieB,
I hope the posts have helped you today. I never would have thought to buy LA wine if I wanted a drink so kudos to you!!
As far as ideas to take up the time and NOT feel like a leper or stick out like a sore thumb (which we really don't you know-it's all in our imagination-do you see someone by themselves and think-oh what a loser-no family to hang with? Of course not!!): A few years ago I was talked into getting my first pedicure by my wonderful sister who has NO problem pampering herself even with raising 2 boys and a wonderful daughter with special needs together with her hubby. I was hooked!! Now I don't go get one every month-can't afford that-but I do treat myself when I'm feeling low or it's the beginning of summer. If you've never had one, it's pure heaven!! And the best part? Usually no men or children are there-it's a total girl's thing at least where I go. So, no, you can't get one every week but it is something to plan and look forward to and it's sooooo decadent and we deserve it!! in fact, I'm getting one tomorrow for 2 reasons: 1) to take my mind off of the fact I can't eat anything but clear liquids all day and 2) I don't want the doc to see my ugly feet after a winter of neglect. If he has to look at my ugly butt, at least my feet will look good :H
Hang in there and think how far you've come in your self discovery and keep posting!!
OK, off to dinner with the fams and to see my dad for the first time in 5 weeks. No AL for me tonite even tho the rest will be imbibing. thank goodness for colonoscopies LOL!!

[runningwind]

Back to Square Zero..

KatieB, do you recognize this...?
"Always look back with forgiveness. Always look ahead with hope. And when you do look aside, do it with love."
We All Believe In You, now you most believe in yourself!
Your in my thoughts,
runningwind

[Anotherday]

Back to Square Zero..

Yay! Katie you're back. You sound good. I am glad you checked back in here.

AD

[KatieB]

Back to Square Zero..

Thanks papmom!
Good luck with your colonoscopy.. maybe next time I will pamper myself.. being sydney there's lots of places open on sunday's.. but i am pretty broke at the moment.. i have to move house in 3 months as the owners are moving back into my flat.. and without a car i get so fed up with trying to find things to do - as i love going for walks in national parks, but i cant get to them without a car! im worried il end up back with my abusive ex as im so lonely on sundays otherwise - it really is a family day everywhere! i feel so isolated.. no family out here, and everyone has family! apart from me it seems in this area.. all my friends are busy with their families at weekends.. part the reason i came out here to live was to "escape" the UK after my horrible memories of bullying and my step-father. then my mum chose my stepdad over me and my sister (who hated him as he was horrible to us).. oh well, have to give it time i guess to get established here..

[KatieB]

Back to Square Zero..

Thanks anotherday and runningwind..
I will try and believe in myself again.. I am glad I bought low AL wine..but from now on I do not want to buy any wine! It did not do anything for me at all.. onwards and upwards!
Well done AD on your AF days - are you on Day 9 now? that's fantastic.. At least i've still only had 11 units of AL in 5 weeks, so that's a huge improvement for me.. I have to keep it that way!
Katie xx

[jessie]

Back to Square Zero..

Hi KatieB, please feel welcome to PM me anytime you want - we are in this together you know.:l

[KatieB]

Back to Square Zero..

Thank you Jessie.. :l

[KatieB]

Back to Square Zero..

I wish I had time to thank you all individually but thanks! i'm working today so don't have much time, and when i'm not working I (normally) have my little boy.. but I have read each and every one of your posts, so thank you all..
Katie xx

[runningwind]

Back to Square Zero..

KatieB;822228 wrote: Thank you all so so much for your wonderful words of encourgement and support!
I felt quite embarrased admitting to you all the fact I had bought 2 bottles of wine last week (LAST week now..! - past tense already..), especially as I was reporting in saying I was doing so well and did not expect myself to slip up so easily..
Thank you AD - it's true, at least I did buy low AL wine. I did not buy AL these times with the purpose of getting drunk - which is a huge achievement for me.. I just bought it to help myself pass the time and feel relaxed.. but I know that AL is not the way and I have to come up with some more ideas, like overittoday has suggested..
MB - the court case is 2 weeks today.. I will come on here the night before and get telepathed to you so you can snarl for me LOL :H
What I do know for sure is that the wine did NOTHING for me at all.. it just made me tired and a teeny bit depressed.. that's why I went to bed early and did not come on here again or do anything much.. it stopped me from enjoying my usual sunday night tv programmes as I was so tired!
I have learnt alot.. way more than before.. next time I feel lonely when I don't have my little boy, I will come on here and talk you all.. you are ALL fantastic!
Thanks again :l
Katie xx
p.s I won't use the term "square zero" anymore either! Day 1, onwards and upwards..!

KatieB, see, you have aquired a new tool, take it and run with it!
Thinking of you,
runningwind :l

[Lavande]

Back to Square Zero..

Stick with us KatieB
We'll make sure you keep moving forward

[Anotherday]

Back to Square Zero..

KatieB;822262 wrote: Thanks anotherday and runningwind..
I will try and believe in myself again.. I am glad I bought low AL wine..but from now on I do not want to buy any wine! It did not do anything for me at all.. onwards and upwards!
Well done AD on your AF days - are you on Day 9 now? that's fantastic.. At least i've still only had 11 units of AL in 5 weeks, so that's a huge improvement for me.. I have to keep it that way!
Katie xx

Yup, Katie, day 9. We must look at improvements. I am so happy you checked in again! Hang in there and we'll do this thing!

[Farm Girl]

Back to Square Zero..

Katie, I am so sorry you have to deal with your ex and step father memories. Just pamper yourself and don't beat yourself up too much. Are there any book clubs in your area? You like to walk - maybe train for a marathon? You don't have to run, it's all in the pace of your walk. I'm sure there are some single parents like you around, just need to find them. Positive thinking and thoughts coming your way!

[Hippy Chick]

Back to Square Zero..

Hi Katie my friend.
Hope you are feeling better today. Do you really think moving back in with your ABUSIVE (your words) ex would make you any less lonely? You can be lonely within a relationship. And you have said he and his family are big drinkers.... Do you think you would be able to stay on your path with all them around?
I too was a single mother. After I got used to the inital separation of my two (my daughter was only 15 months and still being breast fed and my son was 4 at the time) I came to look forward and relish my time on my own. I would go to a really posh shopping centre and try on all these clothes I knew I couldnt afford. I would go and get the "free" makeover from Myer or Bodyshop. Then on my way home would stop and buy a take away (usually something my kids wouldnt eat like Japanese) and buy my own stuff to do a DIY makeover - a mask, some lovely bubble bath stuff, a hair conditioning mask etc. I would put on my favourite music and sit in the bath for hours reading my book.
I often would take a book to a cafe and read while drinking endless lattes. I'm sure people didnt look at me like I didnt have anyone. I think they were probably jealous of someone having time to themselves with no-one to answer to...

I know it is hard when you are on your own - with no family around but we are here. There is always someone who will chat or answer your post.

Stay strong Katie, and remember how you look at being AF - over the whole month it doesnt seem that bad, does it?

Hippy chick

[KatieB]

Back to Square Zero..

Thank you Farmgirl and Hippychick,
I will aim to be more positive next time I have some free time! I went looking on the internet and actually came across a group for single parents.. I have sent an e-mail to them and hopefully will meet some like-minded single parent friends that way.. though I dont have a car so it might be difficult if meet-ups are not on a train line.. I will persevere and utilise everyone's wonderful ideas and prepare myself next time I have some alone time.. i will have some more things planned and try not to get too miserable seeing all the families everywhere, as I know there are lots of ppl that don't have families.. it was probably just my perception..
Katie xx