here we go again

[johnnyh]

hi guys.

Here I am back again from an almost year long binge. about this time last year I was 3 months AF and thought to be "over the mountain". An innocent celebration, a compromise to have some drinks as it's the first time I'm seeing my sister in a long time. And soon back on the old railwaytracks.

It's taken me months of battling, quirreling with myself to set an end to this and finally come back here. Righty now i'm at crossroads. Went to Church this morning, heard a very inspiring sermon and was sure that when the preacher talked about ppl's mountaints they gotta climb my mountain was and is my alcoholism. I'm still slightly hazed from last nights beers, wine and spirits and half way between thinking of getting myself a beer to get this hangover done with and half way between quitting right now. I just don't know if I have the strenght to do it all again! i'm thinking of going to go to my doc tomorrow for some antabuse and anti depressants but am also thinking that by tomorrow i might have changed my mind.

Cunning, that's what alcoholism is. i was so proud of myself last year. |I felt so much better. I can still remember it. but come the next day, the thirst is so strong.

need some help guys!

[hillsidetime]

here we go again

Hi J, listen, day at a time. Get through your hangover today, you can do it. Put today behind you and tackle tomorrow, af. If you did three months last year, you know you can do it. Hang in there,
Hill

[mario]

here we go again

hi johnny,Think of getting through today first,tomorrow be here soon enough and you can deal with it then,forget about yesterday,its done & dusted and all the money in the world cant change what happened yesterday.So get back to today,the next hour,you have done it before,you can do it again,keep posting....." No one can go back and change a bad beginning but one can start anything, anytime and create a successful ending."

[cuckoosnest83]

here we go again

johnnyh, don't know it this will make sense to you, but you won't get tomorrow in sober if you don't get today in sober. Just get through today.

[spuddleduck]

here we go again

well done for coming back. especially in the fuzzy post booze haze. lots of newbies here going through the early stages so get through the day and look forward to tomorrow x
and thanks for reminding us how easy it is to slip back into our bad old ways x

[Farm Girl]

here we go again

Johnnyh - that is what happened to me, after 7 years! One glass of wine (oh I am fine why not) and then six years later, I was drinking anything and everything. Learn from this, you can do it!

[Hypernova]

here we go again

I did 3 mos. AF last summer and then went on vacation and then wham. The binge started in late August and tomorrow will be day 30 AF. I wanted to quit all last fall and during the winter but made some feeble attempts got through 2-3 days. It's frustrating. I'm glad I read your post b/c I don't want to go back there. When you are tired enough of what the booze is doing to you I believe you will get back to not drinking and will be able to string out another 3 mos. plus for ever how long you decide. I do think of going back to drinking and just saying *&%$$# it and never looking back but there is something in me that wants a chance at life, whatever is left. So Johnnyh, hang tough and go for it!!

[Sky]

here we go again

I did 2 months. The second time going AF was harder. What keeps me keeping on is the realisation that I have spent the last 15 years largely in oblivion. I want to spend the next, possible last, 15 years of my life with memories to cherish.

[johnnyh]

here we go again

Thanks for the encouraging words. I think the first thing I did wrong last time around is that I got overly confident. I left the forum eventually feeling ready to tackle the world on my own. and oh how wrong I was. I've missed this place, the compassion, the help and encouragement.

This is AF Day number 1 for me. I actually feel great this morning. Like this is a new start. i'm seeing my doc lunch time today to get a subscription for Antabuse/Disulfiram which helped me greatly last time around. One Day At A Time it is.

:thanks:

[startingover]

here we go again

Hi there Johnny I remember you!
Getting overly confident is sooo easy to do.
Great stuff on coming back and I look forward to hearing about your journey

[mollyka]

here we go again

You're so right, its easy to get cocky isn't it!
It is important to remember what this is - an addiction that doesn't go away, just held at bay by NOT drinking!
You've done it before Johnny so you know you can do it again
Molly

[Marshy]

here we go again

Welcome back Johnnyh!

johnnyh;822432 wrote: I left the forum eventually feeling ready to tackle the world on my own. and oh how wrong I was.

I think this is a key point. It's easy to think we're "cured" and abandon our support networks. It's essential to maintain sobriety once we've achieved it.

[Guitarista]

here we go again

Welcome back Johnny!
I remember you as a thoughtful, decent man. A hard, but good lesson learnt, non?
Go for it friend!

Best wishes, G-Force.

[johnnyh]

here we go again

Yeah. I'm actually sad I ever left this place. It's amazing to see all these familiar people and still going so strong. I can remember Starting when a couple of you decided to quit smoking last year. can't belive you're still going so strong. Well done.

I'll stick around this time. At least we learn out of our mistakes and hopefully I will know this time not to get too confident.

[startingover]

here we go again

The smoking was really a toughie Johnny.
But its been over a year now and I am dead proud of myself.
And yep, learning to deal with our addictions, emotions and life in general is a terrific learning curve.