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[Panno]

I was sure at the back of the queue when they were dishing out discipline!!! I have been drinking everynight (apart from Saturday but thats only because I was so ill from Friday!) Yesterday was a real downer, I was having a lovely day with my eldest daughter and we took her children out for tea with my mum and sisters family for a treat on mothers day. My youngest daughter had gone to the football match (Man U) but when she found out we had all gone for tea she came round and blasted me telling me I was always leaving her out (which I am not!!) but then it all came out how disgusted she was that I drink everynight and hide myself in a wine bottle, she is fed up of seeing me kill myself!! Why am I doing this to myself, especially knowing I am going to see the doctor on Wednesday for my results. In need of an urgent wake up call or a kick up the a...e!!:upset::upset:

[spuddleduck]

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consider yourself kicked up the ass :bum: i know you're worried about the doc and the results. i really hope its good news for you. be strong. thinking about you x
:wavin: waving at you across the bay.

[KatieB]

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Panno,
Don't give up on yourself! Don't let what your daughter said upset you - though I know it is hard - you have to give up for yourself, and no-one else.. keep posting and reading.. ODAT!
Katie xxx

[mama bear]

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Oh Panno...My friend....don't let someone who doesn't understand the demon we are fighting derail you,,,,screw her....I love you and I amhere.....

[JackieClaire]

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Panno,
Sweet heart, I have a 23 year old daughter and she was desperately worried about me when I was drinking. She was at her wits end when time after time she came home and found me hugging yet another bottle of wine. She just doesn't want to see her mum hurting.

Talk to her over a a cup of tea, when you've both calmed down a bit. Tell her the steps you're taking to get alcohol out of your life. She can be a massive support if you let her, mine is one of my biggest cheer leaders.

Good luck at the docs.

J x

:l

[mama bear]

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Panno
after reading Jackie's post I realize how nasty I sounded about your daughter and I apologize. I just got mad at the thought of someone hurting you when you are struggling so hard.....
I hope I did not offend.....

[Panno]

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mama bear please don't be offended :l, I actually laughed :H:H when I read your post because thats what I was thinking lol xx The problem is whilst I love my daughter to death and alot of what she said was right I was also annoyed because whilst I had drank that evening she did have a right to be annoyed but the argument started not because I was drinking it was because I had taken my other daughter out to dinner whilst she was at the football and she was feeling left out (she felt we should have waited for her!!)- they have this thing that one gets more than the other and in truth I have spoilt the pair rotten!!!! Lets face it, it was mothers day she could have cooked or bought my dinner - instead I paid for them both plus my grandchildren and my mother!!!! The shouting about the al came out of frustration that has probably been building up inside her for along time so when things have cooled down I will speak to her :h

[Panno]

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Just to add my daughters are 28 and 23 and still think my life should revolve around them!!

[mama bear]

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ok...good.....i just sounded so darn mean....i have a tendancy to speak before thinking!!! Hope you are feeling strong my friend...I am struggling right there with you!!!

[JackieClaire]

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Panno;823113 wrote: Just to add my daughters are 28 and 23 and still think my life should revolve around them!!

my son's 21 and my daughter's 23 and it's not just my life they think should revolve around them it the whole blessed universe.

And don't worry mama b, I saw someone on Saturday night and managed to call his wife by his ex-wife's name (and I've known them quite a while)

[KatieB]

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Panno,
You sound like a great mum.. I wish my mum gave an ounce of caring about me that you obviously do for your daughter's.. my mum pretty much washed her hands off me when I turned 18 and went to Uni - she just wanted to get on with life with her new husband and I was in the way at home..
I aim to be in my son's life forever.. but I won't "mollycoddle" him! i will teach him how to cook and iron his own shirts! lol..
anyway, i hope you sorted things out with your daughter.. its sounds like you have a lovely relationship with them.. but remember to put yourself first at times, that way you won't feel you "deserve" a drink after sacrificing yourself all the time!
Katie xx