I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

[Anotherday]

I really don't want to drink it. I called two people and neither were available. I have busied myself with everything and I don't know what to do. I lasted 44 hours without a cigarette and said screw it. Went to the store (right next to the grocery store with the wine on sale for the last day) and bought some cigs. Smoked a cigarette. Earlier in the day I'd driven halfway and made a U-Turn. Came back home and worked on lengthening some costume jewelry necklaces. Now I'm bored. Tomorrow I have my appt with my therapist and can always go in there and see where I'm going wrong. If I drink, I will screw up my sleeping patterns again. I finally hit day 10 at which point I start to sleep through the night. I'm low on sleeping pills and not sure my p-doc is going to refill them.

At any rate, I am just typing this out before I open the wine. Maybe someone will say something that clicks. If not and I drink, it's on no one here. Completely on me of course. I am just doing everything I know how to do BEFORE picking up a drink. Just trying to be accountable as I've received such great support here and feel like I owe it to this great forum. Thank you.

AD

[Boodle]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Anotherday, I say open it and pour it down the drain! Or take it some place where you can smash the bottle before opening it and yell at that nasty AL!

[Grateful]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Don't drink it....you've been doing so good. Stay on here and browse all the different threads.....there's alot of reading and sharing here. :l:l

[the bellinator]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Hmmmmmmmm..........pouring it out would be a good answer. I think you would feel bad tomorrow.....your post would say something about going back to square one. I know you don't really want it. Your call Sweet Pea. Do the right thing. :groupluv:

[Chillgirl]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Anotherday - Please pour it down the sink!
The fact that you already called two people means you really want to be talked out of it.
Please dont open it. Fast forward to waking up in the morning feeling great with no hangover compared to waking up full of remorse and regrets...

You have done amazingly well getting to day 10, the hardest ones are out the way and as you say your sleeping pattern is settling down...

Remember all the reasons why you wanted to quit in the 1st place, nothing has changed, you still want to quit. :l

[akgirl]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Okay...hold it right there! You do not want to drink right? Then dont.

Sleep...oh what a precious gift that a lot of us don't have yet. Dont jearpordize that.

Think of exactly how you will feel tomorrow. You will be very disappointed in yourself.

These are all things Ive told myself many times over. Sometimes I won sometimes not but just keep on here and keep telling yourself...you are in control.

[KatieB]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

AnotherDay,
Please don't drink - you are doing sooo well! Day 10 is fantastic! just think how depressed and miserable and angry with yourself you will feel if you drink - thats how I felt on sunday - it was a completely waste of time and money.. i just felt tired and depressed.. there are so many other things you can do with your time.. stay on here and keep reading, read through your past posts an about how proud of yourself you have been for not drinking.. dont worry about the cigs, just deal with one addiciton at a time.. im still smoking - and will continue until i feel truly ready..
Wait and see your therapist tomorrow and discuss these urges with him./her too,.. whatever you do, dont have that drink! chuck the wine away - pour it down the sink like Boodle says and make yourself a cup of tea, and get some nice cake.. we are cheering you on here, you know you can chuck it away - thats why you have come on here!
Love Katie xxx

[Anotherday]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Well, I am a cheapy and hate to pour it out. But I don't have to drink it.

I have another necklace to lengthen. I had all my necklaces in the safety deposit box and went to Michael's to buy some findings to work on my jewelry. I suppose I can busy myself with this. Do you think it's weird to buy shiny and sparkly stuff at my age? I never wear any of it but it's so pretty. I wish I were younger. :upset:

I think what is keeping me from drinking it is 1) I'll screw up my sleep and it took me 10 days to get there and 2) you've all been so supportive and I don't want to let you down and 3) I'll probably feel horrible. I am not good at lying so even though I think I could drink it and not "fess up," I will have let the cat out of the bag. This sort of sets me up to NOT drink it, so to speak, as I'd feel like a real jerk drinking it and then coming back here telling you all I drank it! See how this works? My thinking may be a bit different than most on this, but hey, if it works...

Thank you....:l

[the bellinator]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Yes--please don't let us down. We are rooting for you and love you!

[KatieB]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

AnotherDay,
Who cares about the money when chucking it away will remove the temptation that could hurt you! from what you have said before - you could end up buying another one if you have the first, so you will in fact be saving money! those necklaces sound lovely - there's nothing wrong at all about shiny and sparkly stuff at any age! who cares about your age - you're as old as you feel..
distract yourself.. its great you've found a hobby you can enjoy.. i am so proud of you for doing 10 days AF in a row.. thats just fab! keep up the good work, you know you can do this.. we are here for you,
Katie xxx

[papmom3]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

AD-Don't do it!! You've been such a help to me with my sleep issues-don't screw up your great sleep that you finally got to have. Pour it down the sink-it's not a matter of being cheap-it'll be gone no matter if you drink it or throw it away. You've already spent the money. Keeping it in the fridge because you can't stand to waste it is an open invite to drink it. And who's says you're too old to wear pretty sparkly things???? I picked out pink sparkly polish for my pedicure yesterday!! Plus, over the past few years I've gotten an obsession with the color pink: pink phone, pink purses, pink wallets, pink notebooks-if it's pink and/or has butterflys on it, it's mine and I'm 53!!! I think i've been a tomboy for so long and was in a male oriented career for so long i'm trying to find my inner girly girl LOL!!
Please hang in there OK?? Think how good you'll feel just a few short hours from now when you can say: Whew!! Day 11!!:l:l

[Anotherday]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

KatieB;823409 wrote: AnotherDay,
Please don't drink - you are doing sooo well! Day 10 is fantastic! just think how depressed and miserable and angry with yourself you will feel if you drink - thats how I felt on sunday - it was a completely waste of time and money.. i just felt tired and depressed.. there are so many other things you can do with your time.. stay on here and keep reading, read through your past posts an about how proud of yourself you have been for not drinking.. dont worry about the cigs, just deal with one addiciton at a time.. im still smoking - and will continue until i feel truly ready..
Wait and see your therapist tomorrow and discuss these urges with him./her too,.. whatever you do, dont have that drink! chuck the wine away - pour it down the sink like Boodle says and make yourself a cup of tea, and get some nice cake.. we are cheering you on here, you know you can chuck it away - thats why you have come on here!
Love Katie xxx

Yes, you felt pretty bad and No, Katie, the thought of low AL wine did NOT even cross my mind. I don't know, the association between cigs and AL is so strong but the truth is I CAN smoke without wine.

I have another vice I'll be engaging in in two hours. There is a necklace I'm bidding on on Ebay. I am so bad. I am going to not drink and just talk to my therapist tomorrow.

Truth is I am just very lonely and can't really associate with the one friend I do have here. I need to make more friends but just don't relate with so called "normies," as they say in AA. When I was buying the cigarettes I saw two women from the 4 p.m. AA meeting. They've been AF for a very long time but I just can't do AA. No, I need to find people IRL to beat this thing. This much I know. You guys are the BEST but I simply can't go on just isolating in this house. It's only a matter of time if I do...my therapist encourages me to "get out there" but it's tough at this age to make friends and especially considering where I live.

[Lavande]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Anotherday,

Deep breaths, lots of deep breaths!
Plug in your Clearing & Hypnotic CDs - they will help you get your thinking straight!

Why do you want to drink now & just have to start all over again?
Wake up tomorrow to day 11

[Anotherday]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

papmom3;823415 wrote: AD-Don't do it!! You've been such a help to me with my sleep issues-don't screw up your great sleep that you finally got to have. Pour it down the sink-it's not a matter of being cheap-it'll be gone no matter if you drink it or throw it away. You've already spent the money. Keeping it in the fridge because you can't stand to waste it is an open invite to drink it. And who's says you're too old to wear pretty sparkly things???? I picked out pink sparkly polish for my pedicure yesterday!! Plus, over the past few years I've gotten an obsession with the color pink: pink phone, pink purses, pink wallets, pink notebooks-if it's pink and/or has butterflys on it, it's mine and I'm 53!!! I think i've been a tomboy for so long and was in a male oriented career for so long i'm trying to find my inner girly girl LOL!!
Please hang in there OK?? Think how good you'll feel just a few short hours from now when you can say: Whew!! Day 11!!:l:l

LOL, PINK! I love PINK too! For the longest time I HATED pink! Papmom, you should see some of the beautiful sparkly things I've purchased off of Ebay. They are all of these vintage two and three strand AB sparkly crystal necklaces and I think I have three pink ones!

I'm actually on day 11 today but it took me until day 10 to sleep the night through. Now I want to keep it that way. I am blessed in that I do sleep the night through after 10 days.

I am going to put the wine away. I won't drink it. Or I'll just take it to my therapist tomorrow and give it to him. He doesn't have a problem and is a light drinker. I may as well impress him.

[KatieB]

I am posting BEFORE I drink (the wine I just bought)

Anotherday;823416 wrote: Yes, you felt pretty bad and No, Katie, the thought of low AL wine did NOT even cross my mind. I don't know, the association between cigs and AL is so strong but the truth is I CAN smoke without wine.

I have another vice I'll be engaging in in two hours. There is a necklace I'm bidding on on Ebay. I am so bad. I am going to not drink and just talk to my therapist tomorrow.

Truth is I am just very lonely and can't really associate with the one friend I do have here. I need to make more friends but just don't relate with so called "normies," as they say in AA. When I was buying the cigarettes I saw two women from the 4 p.m. AA meeting. They've been AF for a very long time but I just can't do AA. No, I need to find people IRL to beat this thing. This much I know. You guys are the BEST but I simply can't go on just isolating in this house. It's only a matter of time if I do...my therapist encourages me to "get out there" but it's tough at this age to make friends and especially considering where I live.

Anotherday,
Even though I am younger than you - we seem to have similar issues.. I isolate myself too and have difficulty making friends with "normies" as you put it, and feel lonely too at times.. but being on here and making friends here is a good start - even though the medium is "virtual" we are all still real! I guess you need to give it time to make new friends in the 'real' world, as in any place you live.. if you go to places frequently, like the library, cafe's etc gradually ppl can get to know you.. and who knows what is "normal" these days - we never know what goes on behind close doors - even the most "perfect" of lives on the outside is often not what it seems.. AA could be a good place for you to meet people - as often people that turn to AL are isolating themselves, and have similar issues.. if I didnt have my son i would probably go to AA to meet like-minded people.. but i find my son helps me meet ppl..
Well done for not drinking.. and good luck with your therapist tomorrow.. and e-bay sounds like a fun hobby!
Katie xxx