Got on, fell off and got right back on

[dancingon]

Hi there. Well after reading, taking the supplements for a week and offering suggestions to others, I finally decided it was time I got started myself. I had 3 great days AF and then bought a bottle of wine. :upset: The good news is that it made me feel ill and I tipped the last glass down the sink. The bad news is I have had an all day hangover (on less than a bottle of red!). The good news is that I am right back up there again with no problem staying AF today at all and more resolute than ever that I don't want or need this. If it wasn't for this site and the advice I would've been depressed over my failure and given up going AF for another 3 months. :thanks:

I have learned that 5 - 7pm is the worst time for me and I have to urge surf through this time. If I make it, I can sit down with a cup of coffee and no longer feel such a need to drink. There are some other behavioural triggers for me that I have to watch too. Just like my mum used to eat when she watched TV, there are times when I always used to drink - cooking dinner is one of these - so now I drink water or cranberry juice and keep busy. I've made myself a short list of important reasons I don't want to drink, e.g I will save money. I don't want to model this for my kids. It will be easier to lose weight. I will feel better and be healthier. I try to remind myself of these during the day, so when I pick up a pair of jeans that I can only just squeeze into I say, "I'll be able to wear these again soon." I sleep better when I don't drink, so waking up in the morning I tell myself how great this is - to actually wake up refreshed, instead of waking up at 3am and watching the clocks hands until it's time to get up.

Right. So tomorrow's Friday in my part of the world and that would normally mean drinking much more than usual. Right now I don't feel tempted, but I haven't done a whole weekend AF for a long time. In fact, in the last 2 years I've only managed about 5 days AF in a row. So here goes...

[overittoday]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Hi dancingon,
Good job on recognising that you dont want it in your life anymore! I believe these slips help us on our journey making us stronger. Good that you didnt get depressed and continued for another 3 months BIG pat on the back for that one. AL is cunning this is how it works to keep us hooked.

Well the advise i can give you is stay away from any AL environments. Get a good DVD and a tub of ice cream. Distract yourself during your danger time (5-7pm ). Write down the reasons why you want to stop drinking. Write down how you see yourself AF in 3 months. Visualising in the future helped me alot in the first couple of weeks. Reminder yourself these are the steps you have to take to get to your goal.

Jump on here...go to the chat room. Whatever it takes you can do it.

I am now 45 days and still struggle but not half as much. Get past the next couple of weekends and it gets much easier.

Hope that has helped feel free to PM if you need help tomorrow night.
Stay strong every day is worth it.:l

[johnnyh]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Hi Dancingon. Well done.

I'm most impressed by how self-aware you are. I also battle around the evening time (straight after work) and have managed to keep myself busy. That helps for the moment. (it's only day 4 AF for me though).

Keep it up.

[Anotherday]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Wow, what a lot of great insight into things. It sounds to me like you are well prepared to weather the storm the next time clouds gather on the horizon! Good going on recognizing so much in terms of triggers and coming up with strategies to deal with them!

[gyco]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

hi dancin,you can only do what you can do,this is not a project,when your finished,its finished,your doing great just realising you have a problem if you drink,the tools your using,i dont beleive you could have a much better arsenal,remember forever is a long time.slow and easy,a moment at a time, gyco

[mama bear]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Hi Dancing
I am right there with you in the daily struggle and have reached the point where i am ready to get serious.
Good luck in your battle.....I will be beside you!!!!

[cmhguy3]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Good Plan in action. I also find that if I can make it thru the 5-7 pm timeframe I am golden for the rest of the night. I like your list idea also and will write one out tonight at 5pm sharp!

Guy
day 5

[spuddleduck]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

hey dancingon. great that you realise your trigger times and moments. thats a great start. a lot of us seem to have the 5 - 7 trigger. me too.... if i havent started before then. a word of warning, AL is a sneaky little sod and sometimes creeps up behind you. i had a NAE (near alcohol experience) last week. i was prepared for my triggers then one day for no reason whatsoever it just crept up on me. got as far as picking up a bottle of wine and saying sod it, i really wanted a drink badly, but managed somehow to fight it. good luck, you can do this x

[runningwind]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

You got it! wishing you all best on your continued journey.
runningwind

[dancingon]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Thanks for the encouragement. It's now 7.53pm NZ time, so past the vital stage. Someone wanted to buy a bottle of wine after work today. One bottle of wine shared between 4 isn't much, but I knew that if I had one glass I would buy a bottle on the way home, so I told them I was giving my liver a holiday for a while. I didn't stick around, but next time I suppose I'll have to stay and drink Cranberry juice, or they'll think I'm a snob.

5pm was a craving time but I made a quiche, which I could never be bothered to do on a Friday night, but it kept me busy and then I took the kids to choose some DVD's. Just watched Space Buddies (without a tub of ice-cream! OK I had a chocolate bikkie). Craving has passed and all is cool for another night. Yeah, i know it's baby steps at this stage. I've only just admitted to myself that I'm an alcoholic, but I've never felt this strong and motivated before, so I feel hopeful now that I can do this.

[flyinhigh]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Dancingon,

I love your name and I really enjoyed reading your post. I can relate to your story so much. Wanted to wish you well on this journey and hope you turn up the radio and dance your AL cravings away. It will also help shed off a couple pounds!!! I got my eyes set on an old pair of jeans...
flyin'

[Funny Girl]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Dancingon- you don't have to 'stay around' so people don't think you're a snob - get out of there if you think it will somehow break your resolve. In the beginning it all has to be about you. If that means that you have to make up an excuse or avoid a certain situation, then do so. Believe me, what I've found is that most people are so self involved, they really don't think about you very long. They go right back to thinking about themselves almost immediately. If you do it in such a way that they feel like you WANTED to be with them, but just can't, they will simply ignore it & go on. I found that if I declined some invitations, I simply wasn't asked after only a few . . . . .imagine that . . . . ;-) I just know that in certain environments, I won't be happy right now, and even if I don't drink, I'll be hassled about why I'm not drinking, so it's easier for me just not to go at all.

[dancingon]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Yes, I know you're right. But it can be a problem when you work with a small group of people. Also, after 21 years of a marriage that is now over, I kind of hope to be asked out to social situations sometimes. I am keeping a low profile at the moment, though, and just doing things with my kids. Sooner or later I'll have to take my new resolve out and test it in public, but I want a bit of AF time under my belt first, so I don't fall on my butt again.
One good thing about current health trends is that you can tell people you're detoxing without it meaning you're gong to rehab. :H

[Funny Girl]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

That's so true - you can act like you're fabulously stylish! I have friends who do 2-3 week 'detox' diets - they are awful - they suck on dry lettuce & do 'cleansing' routines. That basically means no eating out, no alcohol, nothing! So they hide for up to a month when they do this & no one thinks a thing of it. I just tell them - give me a call when you can go to brunch or lunch & actually order off the menu! Then you can tell em you need to 'start slow' and go out for lunch or small plates or something & just 'pass' on the alcohol initially. That way - you can buy yourself a good amount of time without even addressing it. You'll make it - I have no doubt. Sometimes, I just pretend I'm in a movie . . . . ;-)

[sick of being sick]

Got on, fell off and got right back on

Great posts, Dancing!