I hate society..

[KatieB]

This is it.. I have seriously had enough of society and people in general..
I just don't see the point of trying hard to make friends, as I don't even like people half the time (not anyone on here of course, you guys are the best and I sometimes wish it was possible if we could have our own society in the "real" world!).. But I find people to be so frustrating.. everyone is out for themselves, and so many people are rude. I used to belong to a mother's group but all they did was bitch about each other behind their backs and be competitive.. and the 1 or 2 friends I have now all they do is bitch about the mother's groups they belong to! It seems that every relationship with people that people have is always negative - all people do is moan and bitch about each other! I don't want to be a part of any group.. i dont see the point!
I just feel like getting drunk now as I am so fed up with society and people.. not life in general as I do have some nice times on my own or with my son, and i enjoy my job most the time.. my problem is I do get lonely.. but hanging out with other people frustrates me! I always feel I have to "people-please", so then i cannot be myself.. if i dont i feel people will be nasty to me or about me, as that is what has happened so many times! people just seem to cannot be nice to each other anymore..
And i feel i can never trust anyone again, after my sister-in-law put me through hell last year, reporting me to the police and so on to blackmail me.. i really dont feel i can ever trust anyone ever again either..
sorry for rambling, just my thoughts.. i am feeling very despondent and now feel like getting drunk, even though its only 9am here (my son is with his dad for the weekend).. but i am tired of doing everything by myself, but im tired of people too.. i am in a no-win situation.. at least with AL I can be myself and dont have to please it! lol...

[Guitarista]

I hate society..

Hi Katie,
I agree! Except for the part about 'at least with al, i can be myself', cause whilst i know exactly what you mean by that, it is also not true. Al numb's out, and mask's the real us, which i know you know. But, yep, people can really piss me off too, and it can seem like the whole of society is like the few d/head's in our circle. I think you're doing an absolutely sensational job as a mum, and a human being. It's bloody hard when we seem to be stuck with whinger's, gossiper's, and negative people all around us. BUT, remember, you still have control over you, and how you choose to cope. Sydney's is an amazing city, and you are an amazing fecker who already has heaps of tool's within you, if you'll pardon the pun. If you can just have a little peek above the clouds and grey skies around you, you'll see the sun, which means plenty to create for yourself to do, and think, right now, so i hope you don't take the easier, but more damaging, time wasting, selfdisrespecting, soul hurting option of getting trashed. Have a read of the 'Toolbox' thread here in monthly abstinence section before you have a drink Katie.

Best wishes..............G.

[mama bear]

I hate society..

Oh baby.....I wish I could zap myself over there for you.....I feel the same way but I am blessed with family.....don't drink...remember how discouraged and down you have felt every time you did it? I wish you could meet a nice man. Have you tried internet dating??

[NoraC]

I hate society..

Big hugs are coming your way Katie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:l:l:l:l:l:l

[TranqWilly]

I hate society..

Hey KB.

Don't drink hun. You've got friends here.

You know the only reason people bring their negativity to social settings is because they're not satisfied with their own lives. I can't recall a time when I've heard truly happy people dis-ing others behind their back. Our job here is to try to build a life that's above all that - like Guitarista says - above the grey clouds... I keep thinking that I have to find solid ground above the place where people can push my buttons and drag me down.

Btw - AL isn't gonna fix society - nothing will. I agree with MamaB regarding finding better relationships, but for now, I'd breakup with al.

Take good care KB.
tw

[KatieB]

I hate society..

Thank you all so much, you are all so kind..
I did not go and buy AL - I had a nap.. I think I was a bit grumpy this morning from lack of sleep, and looking at things a bit negatively myself!
Guitarista - I looked on the toolbox.. thanks, I have some more tools to help me now!
Mamabear.. thank you hun! you are the best.. I may give internet dating a try! maybe i am ready for a new man in my life.. i'm only 32 (well next Sat I am) after all.. seems a bit too early for me to "give up"..
Thank you Nora..:l
Tranq - thank you also.. and I think you are right.. people that are genuinley happy do not feel the need to bitch and moan about other people, it is "water off a ducks back" whatever happens to ppl - I want to be that person! To just be able to laugh at negative things/people, rather than get all upset and think the whole world is like that..
I'm feeling much better after reading your posts, the toolbox and having a good sleep.. im working in just a few hours, I will not drink today! Day 6 AF..
Katie xxx

[Anotherday]

I hate society..

Katie,

Maybe you are just going through normal changes. I say this as I just wrote an email to a friend today expressing some of your same feelings. I am finding that my old friendships don't work anymore and have been too negative. So it's time for me to make new friends. There are good people out there. We just have to find them.

As to getting drunk, I am glad you did not go buy AL. It wouldn't solve anything but you know this. Good decision!

AD

[dancingon]

I hate society..

Good for you Katie B.
Yeah, I feel a bit like that at the moment too. It's all very well trying to surround yourself with positive people, but where do you find them? Unfortunately, people are imperfect

[KatieB]

I hate society..

Thank you AD and dancing on..
People are imperfect, that is true.. I don't expect anyone to be "perfect" but to at least be kind to each or about each other.. I guess I have a "childs" view of the way I want the world to be.. all kind and nice but I know this is not possible most the time.. I just have to be stronger and not get upset so easily by meaness or rudeness.. it is a big part of why I drank.. just feeling frustrated at people in social situations, which has led me to be a bit of a hermit.. I have found I have not been strong enough in the past to cope with the way people are socially, I made myself not "fit" in.. I did so on purpose - I didn't want to bitch along with everyone else, so I did not say anything.. or I would say anything and risk riducule or people targetting nastiness towards me.. I have to learn to not be as sensitive.. what's the best thing to do? join in with the bitching or isolate myself? sometimes I wish I was born a male - as life seems to be much simpler! though I know men can be mean too.. but men seem to have "simpler" interactions, and be more forgiving to each other - I find women to be more judgemental on the whole - maybe its due to female's generally having a lower self-esteem than men? so women are more likely to feel the need to put other's down to make themselves feel better? But men are more likely to resort to physical violence or altercations..
Anyway; that's whole different topic for discussion.. thanks again all,
Katie xx

[hillsidetime]

I hate society..

Hey KatieB, glad you are feeling better. Society, as you wrote, can really piss you off sometimes - family too, in-laws as well. I find it interesting that some days these factors are just mild, and some days they hit you with a hammer. Like you, people talking too much is a problem for me. A great deal of the misery in the world is from people talking (or now with texting / email etc) too much. Keep up the af days!
Hill

[IAD]

I hate society..

Katie........but not Society's child ! Ha!

[KatieB]

I hate society..

Thank you hillsidetime..
IAD - LOL! where do you get all your picture/posters from!!! I'm definately NOT society's child.. :H:H:H
Katie x

[Hippy Chick]

I hate society..

Hi Katie.

Hope you are feeling better today. It is hard however you are doing so well. You havent given up trying to quit and you wont give up. I know you miss your little boy so much when he is at his dads. I understand how that feels. But you will get thru the weekend.

As for other people constantly bitching and moaning - that is why I loooovvvvve being on my own - dont have to deal with other people's sh#t.
Tranq is right - AL wont fix society - it is what helped stuffed it up in the first place.
Take care and post when you need to.

HC xx

[KatieB]

I hate society..

Thank you HippyC,
I am not any better today.. way worse if you get to read my sunday thread.. when I went through all that crap with my ex last year after he assualted me, I had all the reason in the world to give up AL as my son depended on only me as my ex was unstable and unreliable.. but now I dont see much reason apart from when my son is with me.. sometimes i wish my ex wasnt around again as that way i am "forced" to be totally responsible, which i always do well.. but when no-one is depending on me, i give up.. thanks for your encouraging words, but i have not improved today..
Katie

[Anotherday]

I hate society..

KatieB;825500 wrote: Thank you HippyC,
I am not any better today.. way worse if you get to read my sunday thread.. when I went through all that crap with my ex last year after he assualted me, I had all the reason in the world to give up AL as my son depended on only me as my ex was unstable and unreliable.. but now I dont see much reason apart from when my son is with me.. sometimes i wish my ex wasnt around again as that way i am "forced" to be totally responsible, which i always do well.. but when no-one is depending on me, i give up.. thanks for your encouraging words, but i have not improved today..
Katie

Katie,

Pls. consider joining a group - a group for people with perhaps depression issues you deal with. I belong to one and it helps.

AD