Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

[Skid Row]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

Thanks Guys, and hey it is nearly bed time, so I made it I guess. I really am not blaming him, I said from the start we are all masters of our own destiny, it is just that I can not work it all out as to when it when wrong for me. The clearer my head becomes the more confusing the whole messy mess seems to become. I do feel cheated I suppose by his lack of support and today when he started on the ciggies I felt exasperated - almost fury, which is really not my nature. I wanted to scream at him and tell him how hard I am trying. I also wanted to tell him how ridiculous it is that he can't even drop it for a week or so if he has no problem then what is the problem. I am happy with the changes I feel in myself, I am happy not to wake thinking Oh no what did I do or say or spill last night, I am happy that my make up looks slightly (really slightly) (lol) better and I am happy that I can do this without his help. I am feeling sad that he is willing to put nothing toward me being human again when he was so critical when I was hanging with my bad ex friend al. It was so important that I quit (LIKE our 16 year marriage could be broken important) and now that I have - nothing. So yep, I guess I am a little cranky and cross. Thank you all for your words, this place and the people in it is pretty great.

[tictak]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

I hear you skid.... at the mo if it wasnt for my kids id just say what the fuck and drink myself to deatrh....... you wouldnt believe i had a job and friends and all that stuff by the way im talking

[spuddleduck]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

mollyka;827251 wrote: Skidrow, well done on your 7 days! I found those days so tough and it really does get easier and easier as the days go by - just don't get complacent - that's probably the biggest problem now!
I sympathise with you about your husband still drinking. My husband has told me several times that he couldn't do what I'm doing but when I look at what he drinks - it's soooo moderate - I can't see why he should give up or why he would have a problem doing so - wierd. At the end of the day it's your decision and your life, I think when I was drinking my self esteem was rock bottom and anyone could say anything to me and inside I would feel I deserved it because I was a ' no good drunk'. Now however I am so happy with myself that no one could put me down, the confidence being sober has brought to me is mindblowing!!
Keep going the way you're going, its all good:goodjob:
Molly

so true, i felt like a no good drunk, deserving of any crap i was given. not anymore. im growing in self confidence daily

[catch22]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

Hi Skidrow, WELL DONE ON YOUR AF DAYS.....
I can understand how you feel when ever i try to stop drinking i found it hard because my other half use to drink in front of me, and when i open the fridge the cans of skol super was always looking at me in the eyes. It took my other half a long time for him to realise i cannot do this on my own knowning there is AL in the house. NOW when i go to my inlaws house for dinner there is NO AL on the table no more, but his side of the family can take it or leave a drink. I suppose in time this will get easy for me BUT right now our house is a AF house. my other half has accepted that one drink with me leads to another and it just does not stop it goes on and on. Also he knows im getting help outside as well i attend my group seesions for AL and also AA meetings....
Keep up the good work the main thing is your Happy about You thats the important Thing is You.x

[gyco]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

hi skid row,CONGRATS ON YOUR WEEK,,you are very fortunate,youve found a new way to deal with [YOUR PROBLEM]the addiction or affliction,that we so bestow on ourselves , is ours,a personal one,1st we battle the booze,then we battle,LIFE,as far as the other people understanding or not,there isnt a hole lot they can do,im in my tenth or twelfth year of doing this sobriety thing,i thot at one time there was only 4 options,drink,abstinance or AA,and then theres death,i beleive in everyone of us there is HOPE,you i beliEve have found it here,at M.W.O.IT WILL BE GREAT TO GET TO KNOW YOU GYCO

[Skid Row]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

Yep, so here it is. Friday. I guess there is something in a Friday huh (well for me anyways). I spent the afternoon, being busy, keeping busy, pretending to be busy, even went and tried to be so NOOOOOOOOOOT busy by trying to sleep. But hey, I have blown it, not proud, not massively ashamed, just soooooooooo annoyed you have no idea. My husband who didn't drink last night (Yep - quite a result) went through the oh you have been so good, and there is nothing wrong with having a drink. But he is the one who crucifies me for it, and I broke. Yep, I tried seriously I tried like forever it felt. even when we were in the supermarket I was like just say you dont want the stuff. But I didnt and here I am, not drunk or anything. (certainly not sober) But fed up cos I didn't need to drink this. Hey Ho, tomorrow is another day I guess.

[mollyka]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

Tomorrow is another day Skids. Sounds like you need to explain to hubby how distressed it is making you - you do need support at home if at all possible.
It is hard sometimes isn't it!
Roll on tomorrow
Molly

[dancingon]

Day 3 (again - yawn) but need some advice

I'm with you skid, and yes it sucks to realise you blew it even though you probably could've stopped.
As one who buried my resentments against my ex for too many years, I'd say you need to have a little talk. Don't yell or rant. Pick a time when all is well in your world and you're both relaxed and them tell him that you need him on your team, that your problem is serious and won't go away on its own, and that a little encouragement would go a long way.
I'm with Running wind on this - I think he may be scared to admit you have a problem in case he has to look more closely at his. Perhaps he is scared he can't give up for a week. But he may be willing to drink less often and take it to a friend's house.