Had two great kids ? now 12 and 7 ? stopped drinking during pregnancy no problem, but as soon as they were born, got straight back to it, in fact I was looking forward to it.
It became a regular occurance, 1 or 1.5 bottles of white wine a night, but only varieties that I like, I?m not the sort of person to drink anything just because its in the house. This is why I told myself for a long time that I didn?t have a problem, it wasn?t alcohol for the sake of it, it had to be a specific white wine, and I have tried and tried to find something that tastes the same, but doesn?t have the alcohol.
Two years ago, on a normal evening, bottle of wine, kids annoying each other as usual (like they do), my son irritated me to the point that I slapped him, not hard you understand, but the shock on my gorgeous little boys face was enough to make sure I never forget it.
Ever since then I have been going through the ?give up for a few days? ? feel great? ?reward myself with a drink? ?guilt? ?give up??..?. Then a few days ago my husband was late home from work, and there was no wine in the house, and I found myself pacing around like a caged tiger, waiting for him to arrive with the bottle?. I had the real realisation that I am dependant on having that drink. Then later in the evening, on my fifth glass, I had a pang of guilt about my health and what would the kids do if something happened to me ? and I found myself saying ?I just don?t care?. When I remembered I was so shocked with myself, how could I be so selfish. I really really have to do something about it.
I found your site, looking for inspiration, and believe me, I found it. There are so many people out there, feeling exactly the same, and it is a real comfort. I have now not had a drink for 3 days and feel great. I can actually remember the night before in great detail. I can spend time with my kids and give them my whole attention, without keep wandering to the fridge, panicking when I have the last glass.
I read the other day, somebody posted that ?a drink is NOT a reward?. This was a tremendous realisation for me. As I have struggled with my weight for many years, when on diets I would save enough points to ensure I could have that bottle of wine every night, therefore certainly not eating enough ? how pitiful is that. I have now decided that I by finding something else for my ?reward? every time I feel like a drink, I can get through.
Reading stories from other people on this site has helped me realise and admit such a lot about myself, I will keep reading and hopefully keep strong.
Thankyou
Elle
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