Why???

[Reboot]

Today is my new day 1. I planned to start some AL days today and as the day loomed the beast started whispering in my ear, "Why?. ?. ?. ?." So I ask you, why are we doing this? Why do we care? What has brougt us to this point.


I read a quote from Ghandi yesterday that truly speaks to this: "Only give up a thing when you want some other condition so much that the thing no longer has any attraction for you, or when is seems to interfere with that which is more greatly desired."

For me today, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Not to be trite but my body is weary and bloated and ready to change!!!

I plan to start each day with a new reason why.

Why for you?

[OverIt2007]

Why???

Reboot,

Tomorrow will be my one month. This is the first time I have ever made it that far. I have failed at this game hundreds of times.

You have to start sometime, so why not now? There will always be excuses to make, but if nothing changes, well then nothing changes!

Get to one week. That was the magic ticket for me. Once I hit the one week mark, I simply never stopped.

It makes sense that to break a habit you have to keep practicing sobriety right? When you get the time behind you, it gets easier and easier. The old timers on here with lots of sobriety will tell you that, and with my measley one month I can tell you its TRUE!!

Like others have posted, if they can do it, then so can you... and if I can do this, so can you.

:l

Overit

And WHY for me Reboot? I have ten thousand reasons why! WAYYY to much to post!

In a nutshell... my life is BETTER alcohol free!!!!

[fennel]

Why???

Reboot;826072 wrote:
Why for you?

I don't think I will have different reasons each day, but I do have some very good ones.

My family. My partner deserves better, my mother is elderly and I want to be in a state to be there for her, no matter what time of the day it is. I want to set a good example for the children in my life.

Also, I do everything else in my life in a healthy manner. I work out nearly every day, I eat home-cooked, unprocessed foods, I'm an active person. I feel like alcohol is killing my body and my spirit. It makes zero sense that I strive to be healthy, yet pour toxins into my body on a nightly basis.

[K9Lover]

Why???

The "why" for me finally happened last Friday. After a night of bingeing on unknown amounts of rum, I still managed to make it to work Friday morning. But about mid-morning, my heart was racing, I was sweating, and on the verge of passing out....I actually started blacking out at one point but was able to hang in there by breathing deeply. I honestly, honestly felt like I was going to die. I have NEVER felt that bad in my entire life! I was so scared...I did not want to pass out in my office. I ended up going home for "lunch" (i.e. to throw up and lay down), and was unable to make it back into work. I will never forget how I felt that day. In a way, it's a blessing that I finally (after all these years) hit a point physically that I scared myself soooo much. I know I had some degree of alcohol poisoning. It was horrifying. Thinking about it still scares the heck out of me. Never again. I can now see alcohol for what it is....POISON.

[rubywillow]

Why???

K-9, we learn, if we live that long, that the next time CAN be for real.

[Farm Girl]

Why???

Reboot - Why stop ? So many reasons - as all have said before me - but maybe for me it is waking up in the morning and I feel alive - my blood pumping, cool air on my skin and thinking clearly. Everytime I get tempted or feel stressed, I remind myself of that feeling. It beats feeling like crap and being on the hampster wheel where I beat myself up over and over.

[Reboot]

Why???

Hi all,

Made it through my day 1 but God truly has a sense of humor! I was hit by a stomach bug - complete with fever. Not only did I not drink but had no desire to eat anything or move off the couch!! The good news is the whole time I kept etching into my brain how BAD a glass of wine would taste - hoping to trick the synapses and create new associations!:H

As Day 2 dawns and I look at other answers to my Why - I know the biggest one is my 3 girls - 15, 19 and 21. I want to be there for them. Be an example. Be present. Not miss a thing!!! Alcohol puts a wall between me and my family!!

OverIt - Congrats on a month!!!! You are right, I need to focus on one day at a time. . . shoot for a week and then keep going. In the past I have sabotaged myself by looking to far ahead. Where you able to do a month right off the bat or were there stops and starts?

Fennel - I am with you. It is truly poison!!! I, too, exercise and eat well. So many of us do - why do we not behave the same with the beast?!?!?

K9 - how scary!!! You can count that as your bottom . . . only up from there! For me the thing is etching these feelings in your brain!!! A few days later memory does not always serve!

Farm - you are SO right!! To wake up and feel alive!!!!!!!

The question is becoming why not?????:h

[Anotherday]

Why???

Reboot;826072 wrote: Today is my new day 1. I planned to start some AL days today and as the day loomed the beast started whispering in my ear, "Why?. ?. ?. ?." So I ask you, why are we doing this? Why do we care? What has brougt us to this point.


I read a quote from Ghandi yesterday that truly speaks to this: "Only give up a thing when you want some other condition so much that the thing no longer has any attraction for you, or when is seems to interfere with that which is more greatly desired."

For me today, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Not to be trite but my body is weary and bloated and ready to change!!!

I plan to start each day with a new reason why.

Why for you?

Well, excellent thread!

[Anotherday]

Why???

Reboot;826072 wrote: Today is my new day 1. I planned to start some AL days today and as the day loomed the beast started whispering in my ear, "Why?. ?. ?. ?." So I ask you, why are we doing this? Why do we care? What has brougt us to this point.


I read a quote from Ghandi yesterday that truly speaks to this: "Only give up a thing when you want some other condition so much that the thing no longer has any attraction for you, or when is seems to interfere with that which is more greatly desired."

For me today, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Not to be trite but my body is weary and bloated and ready to change!!!

I plan to start each day with a new reason why.

Why for you?

Well, excellent thread!

My biggest reason is that I don't want to die of this. Weary and bloated sounds scary to me and I feel the same way. I have another reason tomorrow I'll share but one per day I guess.

Best wishes for an AF day! Oops, double posted. My computer is acting up today!

AD

[Gumby]

Why???

So many times I ask myself the same question. The answer is simple, but making it happen is where it gets tricky for me. I don't want to drink anymore.....but I seem to not be able to do this alone. I have been on this site on again off again for too long. Although my drinking habits are not much better they are not much worse either. I just want it out of my body and mind. I am sick of being mentally consumed by this. Seems almost all of my waking hours are spent thinking about this stupid addiction. Starts out in the morning with today is the day I quit drinking and by the evening it turns in to ...can't wait to get home and have some wine. My mind has been taken over by alcohol. I want it gone...I want it out of my life and I realize I need to keep coming here and posting...this is when I am most successful. Sadly I have never made it past 3 days....makes one feel like a big failure. Failure the other emotion that twirls round my brain with this addiction. I want to not feel like a failure anymore either. So here I am attempting again...to clear my body, mind and soul of this affliction, alcohol addiction. Be gone!

[Guest]

Why???

Gumby;826667 wrote: So many times I ask myself the same question. The answer is simple, but making it happen is where it gets tricky for me. I don't want to drink anymore.....but I seem to not be able to do this alone. I have been on this site on again off again for too long. Although my drinking habits are not much better they are not much worse either. I just want it out of my body and mind. I am sick of being mentally consumed by this. Seems almost all of my waking hours are spent thinking about this stupid addiction. Starts out in the morning with today is the day I quit drinking and by the evening it turns in to ...can't wait to get home and have some wine. My mind has been taken over by alcohol. I want it gone...I want it out of my life and I realize I need to keep coming here and posting...this is when I am most successful. Sadly I have never made it past 3 days....makes one feel like a big failure. Failure the other emotion that twirls round my brain with this addiction. I want to not feel like a failure anymore either. So here I am attempting again...to clear my body, mind and soul of this affliction, alcohol addiction. Be gone!

Gumby,
I had the same problem, from the time I woke up until I blacked out that night, everyday my thoughts were consumed by Alcohol. I found baclofen and now my thoughts are not about alcohol anymore. I cant beleive it happened for me. Actually I had forgot about writing that exact same thing until I read what you just wrote.
You can get there to Gumby, dont give up hope!

[Anotherday]

Why???

Gumby;826667 wrote: So many times I ask myself the same question. The answer is simple, but making it happen is where it gets tricky for me. I don't want to drink anymore.....but I seem to not be able to do this alone. I have been on this site on again off again for too long. Although my drinking habits are not much better they are not much worse either. I just want it out of my body and mind. I am sick of being mentally consumed by this. Seems almost all of my waking hours are spent thinking about this stupid addiction. Starts out in the morning with today is the day I quit drinking and by the evening it turns in to ...can't wait to get home and have some wine. My mind has been taken over by alcohol. I want it gone...I want it out of my life and I realize I need to keep coming here and posting...this is when I am most successful. Sadly I have never made it past 3 days....makes one feel like a big failure. Failure the other emotion that twirls round my brain with this addiction. I want to not feel like a failure anymore either. So here I am attempting again...to clear my body, mind and soul of this affliction, alcohol addiction. Be gone!

Hi Gumby,

I hear the frustration in your post and you are so not alone in being consumed with this. I've spent the past year trying, trying, trying. Two rehabs, lots of drugs, a new therapist, my psychiatrist, some successes, more failures. If being here and posting makes you more successful, then I hope you will be here a lot and post a lot.

It's super hard at first so don't beat yourself up please! Just keep trying and never give up!

AD

[Anotherday]

Why???

Hoping for the best;826677 wrote: Gumby,
I had the same problem, from the time I woke up until I blacked out that night, everyday my thoughts were consumed by Alcohol. I found baclofen and now my thoughts are not about alcohol anymore. I cant beleive it happened for me. Actually I had forgot about writing that exact same thing until I read what you just wrote.
You can get there to Gumby, dont give up hope!

Yeah, I had the same thing happen when I took a high dose of Lamictal (a mood stabilizer). I managed to not drink for six weeks and I forgot (for real) that I had a bottle of wine in the refrigerator.

There isi definitely something biochemical going on here. I sure wish they'd make that Bac widely available.

[Gumby]

Why???

Thanks everyone...I will be ordering Bac. today....hoping for the best! It is time.....I need to at least try it, as all other attempts seem to fail. Im going to try to post more too...it has helped me in the past and it keeps me thinking more positively. This is an emotion that is hard to come by in a world of your own constant verbal sabotage. I will be glad when the alcohol psychobable in my head moves on to another subject. Thx again

[Guest]

Why???

Great to hear Gumby! Keep posting, we all can do it together!