Lesson learned

[dancingon]

Not to be too cocky too fast. I went 8 AF days and feeling great, including one stressful day on Wednesday (when I had to deliver a staff training presentation and my ex kept calling wanting to come home), but I still didn't drink. Then yesterday, feeling great, I got Chinese, at my son's request, and thought a Pinot Gris would be nice with this. I had a vague idea that I would try to moderate, and probably could have if I'd had a plan, but I didn't, so I drank the whole bottle through the evening. Sigh. To be honest, I only enjoyed the first glass - the one I had with the meal.

Lesson learned. I really do need to do a long stint AF (at least 30 days) before trying anything like that again. If I can do 8 days, I can do 30. I don't think I'll count though. I'll just note when I start on the calendar. March 26 - Day 1 AF

[rubywillow]

Lesson learned

Dancing, everything is a lesson, if we let it be.

[hangingon]

Lesson learned

Dancing,
I did the same thing, Ithik we have to go closer to 30 days or more before trying the PIno Gris, that is/was my poison too and that first glass does taste so yummy, it just appears that we don't know how to stop at that. Keep posting I would like to follow how you are doing. Are you taking any meds or supps?
hangin

[spuddleduck]

Lesson learned

sadly ive learned that lesson soooo many times ... doh! im over 30 days AF, no one could be more amazed than i am. theres no way im strong enough to try any moderation. i dont know if i ever will be. so many times in the past i thought i would just have a couple of glasses of wine, and i really did believe thats all i wanted but it never happened. a couple would lead to a couple more then hey ho off i go ... on a mission to oblivion. the longer im AF the less i want to take the chance. one day maybe but not today. today i wont drink. hope you take the lesson on board.. it does get easier

[Doggygirl]

Lesson learned

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. But I will suggest that you guys think really carefully about what you believe has changed after X AF days (i.e. 30, but insert whatever number you want). A change so great that you will be able to drink moderately after probably having a LOT of trouble controlling AL for probably a long time.

We don't magically get fixed. The vast majority of people that I have seen over nearly 3 years here at MWO have not been able to go from problem drinking to successful moderate drinking for any length of time.

The problem with my own failed experiments in this regard is that I REALLY struggled for a long time to get back on the wagon once I went off the wagon. It was mentally VERY difficult and I struggled for 8 months to string more than a few days at a time together.

Is the very remote possibility that you might be in that VERY small % who can successfully drink moderately worth the risk?

Just askin'.... obviously this is a very individualized journey. I'm just hoping to save you some possible agony by making sure you have a good idea about your odds of success before you try it.

DG

[eight days a week]

Lesson learned

I agree with Dg, and think 30 days is way too short for most people to think they can affect a huge change in their drinking approaches.

I've read pretty convincing scientific arguments that it can take six months' abstinence plus for the brain to properly re-balance itself chemically after a period of drinking alcoholically. Even then, it's so easy to fall back into the old patterns of habit and behaviour that are now hard-wired into the brain.

I had five months complete abstinence last year, and once I started drinking again of course I wanted to moderate, but lapsed back into my old patterns oh-so-fast it was scary. I know a small percentage of people can return to moderate drinking, but I've proven conclusively I'm not one of them, and in the process of doing so almost ended up killing myself again

[Doggygirl]

Lesson learned

And I know people that have been abstinent for YEARS and have tried to drink again, and they end up right back where they started. That would be heart breaking. (not to mention risky from a health / safety standpoint!)

Personally? I'm going to work my ever lovin' butt off to never drink again, one day at a time. Sober life for me is too good, and the drunk life was too bad

DG

[eight days a week]

Lesson learned

That's why I'm trying Naltrexone under TSM and Baclofen. I just have no confidence in leading a completely abstinent life yet, though I have the utmost respect for those who do have that strength where I'm deficient.

Neither medicine has helped me stopped drinking yet, though I have cut down significantly, and until they do - and probably not even then, as again it's a risk, and a huge one - I wouldn't recommend anyone giving up abstinence in the hope they'll work (though Baclofen I've been told by my specialist is actually best started when abstinent).

[Doggygirl]

Lesson learned

eight days, keep fighting and trying whatever methods are available until you find what works for you. I'm so glad that research continues and that new drugs are being discovered that help people. Eventually maybe there will be enough different programs / methods to achieve sobriety that "problem drinking" can be eliminated. (and the normies can all go on and have their fun!)

DG

[Panno]

Lesson learned

Thanks for posting dancingon it really helps people when considering if they can try! It happens alot with me I always want just the one and then end up finishing the bottle! Great advice from everyone :h

[Doggygirl]

Lesson learned

Panno, I used to always tell myself I wanted "one." But that was a lie. I never REALLY wanted one. I wanted to get drunk, and that always took more than one. In fact, whenever I was in a situation where only ONE was appropriate, (i.e. a business lunch or something) I about went NUTS until I could get out of there, and get somewhere to do some REAL drinking.

"Just one" has never, ever been a reality for me. Took me awhile before I saw that one honestly.

DG

[dancingon]

Lesson learned

No, I'm not taking meds, as I don't have severe withdrawal symptoms or cravings. I'm taking L-Glut, Multivitamins, Milk Thistle and sometimes Evening Primrose.

I know not many can moderate and I certainly don't think I would get anywhere if I just tried to cut down without cutting out for a while. However, I haven't been drinking out of control for long, and I don't actually like getting drunk. IN fact in social or business situations I rarely have more than two. I'd like to be able to appreciate wine again one day, but if I can't, I can't. If I can't stop myself at two drinks, or if I can't stop thinking about the wine in the cupboard when I've had my two drinks, there would be no point in trying to drink moderately. Maybe after a month or so, I won't want to bother trying. A month is an arbitrary figure I realise. For me, it means giving myself time to stop linking the action of drinking to certain situations. One thing I have noticed, though, is that after stopping for a while, I feel much worse after drinking much less than before.

[Boodle]

Lesson learned

Dancingon - I did the SAME thing last night. Only difference was I bought two bottles. Loads of good intentions and a REALLY BIG headache today. On the upside I felt so crappy with the hangover I won't do that again too soon. I can't even believe I was doing that every day. YUK. Back on the wagon for me.

[rubywillow]

Lesson learned

Dancing, you are learning about yourself. May it continue, in a productive way. We're here, love.

[dancingon]

Lesson learned

Amazing isn't it Boodle? What we used to put our bodies through every day and called fun.
Nurse that head and get strong again.

My headache has been joined by ear ache and a sore throat, so I suspect I'm getting a cold and it's not all down to Al. I came home from work early to do some work from home, but ended up hanging out washing and tidying. :angel: