Friday night again!

[over it]

and tonight ive chosen the wrong option! Only a couple of beers thats all I have but ....but, sometimes the craving gets too much, only been at it for a week and a bit and have vastly cut down 2 nights completely AF (with no sleep)and 1 beer here and there. Yep im pretty dissapointed but at the same time happy I can stop myself from drinking more. Missing my family in the UK at the mo! Wish I could tell them whats what but they wouldnt understand and think.....well I dont know what theyll think but I cant really tell them over the phone that there sons got a drink problem and wont be celebrating when we meet the way we used to IE getting hammered and either me or my old man having drunk political arguments that always turned into more than a political argument and shouting at each other!!! Went to an AA meeting last night and got very pissed off. There were about 4 newcomers. ive only done 5 in a week so I am to and 5 long term sobriety people there to. I had this poor girl who bought along her partner for support and all these guys did was talk about themselves and how good it was for LT soberity and how GOD had intervened and theyd seen the light!!!! After step 12 which took some of them 10 years!!!!! and I had to say something as they closed off the meeting without mentioning the struggles that us short tremers were going through! So I said my piece. good on ya long termers but how about us lot over here. Told my story and I think gained respect from everyone! God im so fucking angry at the mo! (and ranting sorry!!!). Next week ive decided no more beer, i want to moderate but I cant justify it anymore as I have one beer and spend the rest of the night wanting more!!!!!! AAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I really want to stop this. Ive started smoking ciggies again as I think it helps the cravings but either way thats wrong to. Replacing one addiction with another but fuck Ive got to do something to make me feel a bit happier! The rollercoaster ride is going up a big gradient at the mo. Cant wait to go down fast furious and screaming out ! Fuck yeah, im happy again!!!! and then hit a loop and come out on a horizontal section. Sorry guys. i was so posotive last week but this weeks been hard!!!! I know its gonna get better soon.

Shine on you crazy diamonds

Overit.........

[hillsidetime]

Friday night again!

Hi Over, I read your entry and it seems that you have a lot of emotions going on right now, that is OK. I happens when someone tries to make a huge change in their lives. I don't have any experience with AA, but I do with moderation. For me, I don't want a beer...I want 12. Moderation, for me, is not an option, I am sure it is for lots of people. I hope you are feeling better today, and can perhpas look at things one thing at a time. There are always people here who are ready to listen. Hang in there,
Hill

[mollyka]

Friday night again!

Hi Overit
Alcohol always makes(made?) me feel all over the place, I think cos the emotions I felt weren't real they were alcohol induced. Moderation to me would be impossible, absolutely completely impossible. Yeah the first night maybe I could just have 2 drinks but by the end of the week the rollercoaster would be back. Don't know if that is how it is for you but you obviously know there is a problem there.
The 'lightbulb' moment for me really was the day that I waved goodbye forever to booze - its gone. Of course there are times I long for a drink, sometimes a lot, but 95% of my life is incomperably better - now surely thats a good trade off?
Good luck Overit and hang on posting and reading - I know it helps me more than you could imagine
Molly:l:l

[over it]

Friday night again!

has a good nights sleep , been swimming this morning and now off for a run. Feel a lot more focused today...........

[dancingon]

Friday night again!

Good on you Over it.
Just a thought - if you can't get over the unhappiness it may be that anti-depressants or anti anxiety meds will help. As someone else said, most of us have underlying issues that started us drinking.

[johnnyh]

Friday night again!

Yeah. Am on Anti depris too. I can only recommend it. I think it's important to keep yourself in the right space and positive. My depressions can get into the way. I can also be an angry fellow (you wouldn't belive?! ) And when things go bad for me (in my mind at least), they can go really bad. So taking the happy pills to make sure i keep in the right space.

This road to living AF is a road of ups and downs though. I think one's gotta be realistic. Not all your problems will be gone when you quit drinking. There were problems after all when we began drinking.

I hope you got through with it next week fully AF!! I think that'll be a great start. Than do go talk to your doc if you're comfortable with it.

[gyco]

Friday night again!

hi overit,give yourself some credit,the best thing of all is your trying,many never realize what you know,and perish into oblevion,ive been in and out of AA for years,it is not for all,i havent a bad thing to say about it,you have to find what suits you best,myself being the way i am,i will find fault with anything,that will give me a reason to abUSE ,does not make you alchoholic,now,not like b4,i ask myself,[do i have to]the answer is printed rite at the end of are finger tips,No,we dont have to,only you can do the homework,wishing you well,gyco