How do I moderate?

[Sophie75]

How do I moderate?

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me. It helps to have allies out there
Time for me to get serious about what action I'll take. You are right DG, I need to do something different to get a different result.

Will check out the moderation threads, thanks Mario.

So right now I am making a promise to myself. I will never drink in secret ever again, no excuses.

Take care out there and keep smiling

[TranqWilly]

How do I moderate?

Hi Sophie.

Here's a book I found interesting: "Controlling Your Drinking" by Drs. Miller and Munoz.

I've had some mixed successes by going for abstinance 99% of the time, and drinking sensibly when the occasion called for it. Eg - over November and December (the holidays) I had about six or seven drinking occasions, and did about 28 drinks total for both months (Nov 12 and Dec 16). I don't drink at home alone and don't drink at all on weekdays. So I put a lot of af time between the al days.

But it seems that after months of more af time than al days, I'm finding that al doesn't feel good in my body or brain anymore. I'm actually preferring the af time more and more.

Hope that helps.
tw

[JackieClaire]

How do I moderate?

Hi Sophie,
I've just read back on a few of your posts and two things stood out.

1. You've been drinking in the morning.
2. You've been hiding bottles.

To be honest I would try at least another 30 days, probably more like 60.

Have look at the mod threads, read the book that TW recommends, but most of all look into your patterns. I hope some one from the Mod Squad will pop in and give you some advice.

Just my two cents. Best of luck whichever road you choose.

J x
:l

[ATLThrash]

How do I moderate?

Something to think of

I would say think of what Jackie said-- I was drinking at most times a socially acceptable amout of booze but what I knew I was doing is hiding and fibbing about when I drank it (it was not a.m. but was at late afternoon napof my son at times-- many times) I did hide bottles from hubby when I did that alone because I knew for me that was not right. That is what got me started. Don't know if you live with someone but when I started admitting it and then made myslef leave the bottles-- it was AL free or very low consumption for me-- whatever works to get us to change I guess-- to me having his love and respect was very important to me-- and I was hding because I certainly knew drinking alone was not going to do that for us. Good luck-- it is all about fidning your way!

[Sophie75]

How do I moderate?

Tranq, thanks, I will look up the book. Have to say, my 30 days AF were happy and content, so yes, time to learn from that experience.

Jackie, thank you so much for going to the trouble of reading my old posts. Really appreciate you wanting to help me. Looking forward to chatting more.

ATLThrash, thank you. Yes love and respect from people who matter is worth more than any cheap al thrill. Hiding is not a dignified way to live, thanks

[mollyka]

How do I moderate?

You're so right Sophie, dignity is one of the first things we loose when we go down that road and self-respect and confidence and health........I could go on forever - on a much more banal level - money!!
Lovely sunny day here in Dublin it's nice to be able to enjoy it!
Molly

[mario]

How do I moderate?

moderating is the million dollar question for us alcoholics/problem drinkers
I've been trying to moderate my drinking since my thirties when i realized i had a problem, and I'm now in my late 40s. I finally came to the realization in jan 09 that for me, abstinence is the only way,
You see, my memory is selective. I tend to forget how sick I felt each day, the hangovers, the blackouts, the puking, the worrying about how I appeared to other people, the remorse I felt every single morning when I woke up. I was beating myself up and yet I continued. Who does that ? Social drinkers don't do that. But alcoholics do.So now after all these years of trying i accept that i cannot drink alcohol without abusing it, i accept that i cant or never will control it, it will always control me,best way for me is abstinence and i haven't looked back in sorrow since.

[TRUCKER123]

How do I moderate?

WOW MARIO, You said it all! I couldn't agree with you more!!! Trucker123

[rived]

How do I moderate?

Agreed, Mario! The abstinence decision instantly emancipated me from the clutches of AL.

[Sophie75]

How do I moderate?

Hi Molly, yes had a lovely walk by the sea today and no hangover to grumble about

Hi Trucker, Rived and Mario, thanks for taking the time to respond. Hope you are enjoying sunday.

I am sticking to my promise to myself not to drink in secret. That was when I did my most drinking so it is a huge step for me. I am determined though, and if I slip up, even once, that's it, I will abstain forever. That's the deal I've made myself, so thanks for the support. Just knowing all this help is here means the world to me.

[mollyka]

How do I moderate?

Hi Sophie
Wasn't sure where to post this its not really to do with moderating but in a way its connected so here goes. Tonight I got the biggest craving for booze, the whole shebang - hit me like a sledgehammer. Was grand earlier on today but had to completely empty out my kitchen today for some building work and find a home for all the stuff, and hubby is working round the clock this week and everything fell on my shoulders and the young people were unloading their worries again - and BANG.
I didn't have a drink and I won't but if I was in moderation mode in my head - as in - permission to drink - I know I would have fallen into a bottle. Its nearly 3 months since I've had a drink and it has really scared me an discouraged me that I could feel the need for drink so badly.
Sorry if this is not the right place to put this
Molly

[spuddleduck]

How do I moderate?

again, molly, i totally get that. although i too am still unsure as to wether i will try to mod in the future. at the moment im def going for AF. if i was mod thinking i would slip into a bottle in this kind of situation wheras if my head is in AF mode, i just do not have a drink. so far this has worked for me

[Sophie75]

How do I moderate?

Hi Molly, you post anywhere you like girl:l Good on ya for not drinking; am proud of you.
Hi spuddle, yup I know what you both mean, moderation is scary. That's why I'm going for the not drinking in secret road as it's clear cut to me, but giving myself a limit of two drinks a week for e.g would leave it open for me to have those 2 drinks for all the wrong reasons.

By resisting drinking today Molly you have grown stronger. Next time a craving like that hits you will Know that you know you will beat it. Well done