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    I need help

    Hi

    I've been on here for a while now, I got up to 16 days and my life did start to get better, but then I convinced myself that I was being a little silly believing that I have a drink problem, I just need to drink less..........WRONG. So had a couple of glasses of wine on what would have been day 17 af and now I'm back to square one, drinking stupid amounts every day, I'm depressed to the point of despair, I feel very ill all the time and the god awful alcohol has got its claws in to me again.

    I know what I need to do but I'm having trouble getting my head in the right place. I was taking the supps last time, but this time they dont seem to be having the desired effect, do you think that the Kudzu on here would be better than ? Also I've read about topomax, does it really work well? And is it really safe to buy online? I've read alot of horror stories about what they put in some tablets.

    I'm in such a dark dark place, I have a lush husband and beautiful children and I want to be better for them, the way I am at the moment I'm letting them down. Alcohol is stealing my life from me, I hate it so much, I just want to scream. Today is day one for me, although I'm feeling very ill and very sick and so so depressed, I had to pull the car over earlier and just sobbed my heart out to my husband on the phone. Why didnt I just carry on when I got to day 16, why am I so stupid and weak, thats how I feel at the moment, I feel weak and fragile like an egg shell.

    I thought about going to a lady who does curative hypnotherapy, anyone had any experience of this??

    Thanks for listening, it helps
    xxxxxxxx

    #2
    I need help

    NG,
    Sorry don't know anything about the meds, supps or the the hypnotherapy but hopefully someone will come along with some advice.

    Try and remember how well you felt during those 16 days and pull those back.
    Today drink plenty of fluids, be gentle with yourself.

    J x
    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment


      #3
      I need help

      Hi Northgirl,

      Sorry you're feeling so depressed, it really is awful when you feel that way and so hard to pick yourself up agaiin.

      You are not stupid and weak, you have experienced a setback which is commonto many people here. At least it was only after 16 days and not 77 like me, or even more longer in some cases. It can be difficult to get back into the right frame of mind to start again so ease up on yourself, you know you can do it you have the proof of 16 days, you also know you prefer to be without alcohol. So put it down to experience and think about how you will deal with the situation should it arise again next time.

      The first time I stopped I took Kudzu and L-glutamine, after that I haven't bothered. The first time I found listening to hypnotic CD's to be helpful, the one I had wasn't from here it was one I already had, about overcoming addiction. The good thing about a CD I feel is that you can go and listen to it at a time when you would drink and if you wake up in the night it is a good aid to getting back to sleep.

      You have not failed, you just need to tighten up on your plan. Try to be calm and think rationally, you can do this, if I and others can there is no reason why not you too.
      I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you.

      Comment


        #4
        I need help

        Hi Northgirl.

        Sorry for how you're feeling.

        Listen, I did 3 months and a bit last year and decided I didn't actually have a problem. It has all been an illusion. I can handle a couple of safe drinks. It took me months to come back here and get back on the wagon. So don't despair. the mind is playing tricks with you. We've all been there i'm sure. AF for a while and feeling on top of the world, unbeatable. Confidence can be dangerous. that was my lesson.

        Just get back on the wagon and off you go. Don't worry about tomorrow, Don't worry about yesterday. Worry about today. You can do it!!
        AF since 15th March 2010

        The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

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          #5
          I need help

          Hi Northgirl - I blew my little record on the weekend. Don't despair - it helps to look at your overall record. Instead of telling myself I've thrown away the lot, I am looking at today as my 21st AF day out of 25 days. Not so bad when you look at it like that!
          Coco

          Comment


            #6
            I need help

            Hi Northgirl,

            Glad you came right back for support!
            You know what you need to do, let's get started. AL will always screw with your head, no doubt about it!!

            I did not use Rx meds or the supplements myself but I did learn a lot from the CDs. They really help you learn to relax without AL & change your thinking.
            Go back & revise your plan a bit, make sure you have all your triggers covered! Come back to the Newbies Nest & let us know how you are doing

            Wishing you the best!
            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              #7
              I need help

              northgirl, you will feel better (and more capable) when you get the al out of your system. You know that. Eat well, drink lots of water and regroup. Take a look at this thread. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...lan-41280.html
              sigpic
              Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

              Comment


                #8
                I need help

                Hi Northgirl. I can totally relate to how you feel. I went through something similar at 60 days. Thought I was "fixed" or something. But the part I identify with most is the difficulty getting back on the wagon. I finally did though, and you can too. It seems there are very few of us who "stick" with AF the very first time. Seems most of us have to prove to ourselves one more time that we can't drink safely / sanely. There is a little part of me that is glad I went through that experience becuase now there is no doubt for me - I KNOW I cannot drink safely. So maybe someday that will be the silver lining in your current cloud as well.

                Al seemed to hang on a lot tighter to me after that initial AF stint.

                The only Kudzu I ever used was the Kudzu sold here. I have read many posts over the years suggesting that other brands may or may not be as effective. So you might want to stock up. The only hypnotherapy I have ever done was the CD version sold here. But that seemed to really help me. So if you know of a reputable hypnotherapist, why not give it a try? I think we have to be willing to GO TO ANY LENGTH to get sober. AL is a cunning, baffling and powerful foe.

                All the best to you. It's hard, but YOU CAN DO IT. If I can, you can.

                DG
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                One day at a time.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I need help

                  Hi Northgirl, I went thru the I will never drink again to I feel better to I can handle myself tonight and just have a couple drinks. Every day I went thru this for months and months! So stop being hard on yourself, you can't change what happened five minutes ago, only learn from it. Sounds like your husband is there for you so stay strong and think of the great things you will experience without AL!!!

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