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    #1

    Back where I began...

    Here I am again... I am NOW LT (I was stillcrawling but can't remember my login or former e-mail blah blah blah ... alot has happened in 2 years!
    Below (in purple)is a stillcrawling post from 2008! You'll see that I initially joined in 2007:

    My post from APRIL 2008

    I'm back and still crawling
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I was active about a year ago here but my wine habit has snuck up on me ... I have been averaging a bottle a day ... I am 5'4 and have put on 15 pounds lately b/c of my bad habits... so why do I want to quit? Some reasons:

    1. My face is red and blotchy
    2. I am tired of hiding it from my boyfriend
    3. I smell
    4. I spend too much money
    5. I have become a sloth
    6. My work has suffered
    7. I have zero muscle tone because I drink all weekend and watch tv
    8. I am depressed
    9. I pass out and don't brush my teeth (gross)
    10. I am turnng 40 in 4 weeks! I want to start fresh!
    Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!! Liz (I don't want to smell anymore)

    March 2010 -- SAME LISTS ONLY THAT I AM OLDER. I have had some success with AF stints but I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and the winter blahs do me in! This time I will be better eqipped. I have seen toolbox and the thread that addresses my sobriety plan. I ordered Kudzu, L-Glut and started antabuse yesterday. Simply put, I was so lit when my husband came home on Friday that the antabuse was the only way I could guarantee to him that he could home to a sober me. I plan to share more each day but part of my plan was to reconnect with everyone here today.

    So today is DAY 3 and my goal this week is to continue detox (water, herbal tea, water, herbal tea... ) I look forward to reconnecting with this AWESOME community!

    :h lt
    LT formerly known as stillcrawling
    Tags: None
    #2
    Back where I began...

    Welcome back LT. Good for you being willing to do whatever it takes. And if that's Antabuse that your hubby can see you swallow, so be it.

    Over the winter I know some folks here were talking about SAD and some things they were doing to help it. Hopefully the winter doldrums are pretty much over for this year but I'm sure you can find some better ideas around here next winter than wine. Which doesn't really help anything. But oh I remember that feeling sitting around getting drunk with the tube on. Life can be so much better than that.

    If you make AF your mission, your view of life at this time next year will be vastly different. We can get there one day at a time.

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

    One day at a time.

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      #3
      Back where I began...

      Hi LT... I originally joined in 2008...I also took a hiatus from MWO (I also would pass out without teeth brushing and face washing - SERIOUSLY??)... Only to find my self back here at MWO - in the same situation, just now I am 42 instead of the 40 yr old that first joined... We are in the same boat... I also have the Antabuse and have been struggling as to whether to take it or not... Earlier today, after reading my older posts, I was convinced that I should take it - I am so much happier and healthier when I am sober... In one post after I had been AF for 21 days, I described that my addiction had changed from AL to an addicition to feeling good... WHAT HAPPENED? So like I said, I was prepared to take the AB... NOW, its getting close to the "bewitching" hour when AL starts calling my name and I am second guessing the Antabuse... WTF? Why would I want to stay miserable, bloated, filled with guilt, plagued with a headache!?? All the things that wine brings into my life...I just need to take it and get some AF time under my belt... I need to get back into the saddle... At one time of my life, MWO was the best part of my day - my lifeline... And I was so much happier (fresher breath and less bloating too!! )

      We can do this - and we are worth it!! Good luck... I think we should stick around!
      God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers...

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        #4
        Back where I began...

        Thank you Doggie and Spririt Girls! I am on a different mission this time!!! I have been fooling myself that wine is glamorous -- it is NOT!!! It has caused me nothing but misery!
        LT formerly known as stillcrawling

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          #5
          Back where I began...

          SpiritGirl - why not just take the AB in the morning before you have much time to think about it? Then the decision to drink or not is off the table for today? I've never taken AB, but I would do it in a heartbeat if I needed a new or revised plan. Booze was killing me.

          DG
          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

          One day at a time.

          Comment

            #6
            Back where I began...

            I was up to 2 bottles of wine a day -- I HAD to do something to arrest the demon!!!!
            LT formerly known as stillcrawling

            Comment

              #7
              Back where I began...

              Hello & welcome back LT & SpiritGirl,

              You already know MWO is a good place!
              Please feel free to drop in the Newbies Nest & say hello! You don't have to be new to post there just in need of a little support

              Wishing you both the best!

              Lav
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                #8
                Back where I began...

                Thanks Lavande,

                Congrats on 1 YEAR!!!!:goodjob:
                LT formerly known as stillcrawling

                Comment

                  #9
                  Back where I began...

                  Hi LT, it's great you are back here and trying again. I think it helps to remember all the stupid things we do when we are drunk, I play it over in my head like a movie if the urge comes on. Stay strong and do what it takes, you will start feeling better and more in control soon!

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                    #10
                    Back where I began...

                    Hey LT,

                    Good on you for coming back and givin this another shot!! I too had about a year of absence full on back into old drinking habits (and worse.). Finally back on the wagon. Was on Antabuse last time around and made it 3 months and a couple of weeks, on Antabuse again now. I'ts a great drug for me as long as I use it.

                    You can do it!!
                    AF since 15th March 2010

                    The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Back where I began...

                      Welcome back and good job on having a plan. I first started in 2008 and have just never given up on my quest for sobriety. It is a journey, that's for sure.

                      The supplements in the beginning helped me along with reading the posts here and not feeling so alone. Over time I have realized that there is no glamour in drinking, for me. Instead when I drink there is misery: anxiety, depression, bloating, pain in my side, headache, nausea, and regret. :upset:

                      Identifying your witching hours (tempting times to drink) and your triggers, like hungry, angry, lonely, tired, really helps your plan. I also think it through to the bitter end. When I get a craving I don't just think how great the wine is, but how I will feel, what an a** I am, and how I will not sleep and wake up feeling.

                      Hope to get to know you better as you continue on your AF lifestyle.
                      Formerly known as redhibiscus

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                        #12
                        Back where I began...

                        Johhny H -- thanks! I appreciate the warm welcome! I said yesterday that Antabuse is a pill form of house arrest! LOL I am on Day 4 because of it... I see it as my life vest right now.

                        Stargazerlily -- thank you too! Yes, getting the glamour out of wine is key for me! It is SWILL!!! Funny I can turn down any other type of drink! I look forward to meeting all of you!!!!:l
                        LT formerly known as stillcrawling

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                          #13
                          Back where I began...

                          Thank you Doggy Girl, for the advice... I am going to take it... Also, just thought I'd tell you I've been inspired and encouraged by you for 2 years now... I often look for your posts specifically because they are so encouraging...Thank you for sticking around here even after almost 2 years of sobriety!! It means so much!!

                          Let's do this, LT... How did you do last night? I know you didn't drink, but how are the cravings? I am proud of you!!
                          God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers...

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Back where I began...

                            LT;830546 wrote: Johhny H -- thanks! I appreciate the warm welcome! I said yesterday that Antabuse is a pill form of house arrest! LOL I am on Day 4 because of it... I see it as my life vest right now.

                            Stargazerlily -- thank you too! Yes, getting the glamour out of wine is key for me! It is SWILL!!! Funny I can turn down any other type of drink! I look forward to meeting all of you!!!!:l
                            Haha. That's a good form of putting it. (the house arrest way). Yea. Antabuse is great because it kind of takes the option from you but on the other hand can be very frustrating as well.
                            AF since 15th March 2010

                            The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Back where I began...

                              Spirit& Johnny -- believe it or not I am doing GREAT! Wine is not an option so I am on Day 4 and almost can't believe it. My approach this time is a bit different.

                              First I'm not going FULL FORCE -- if I need to nap I do. Thanks to my wonderful husband I do nothave to work so that helps because of no stress. But, we also know that I got myself into trouble because of no work. I have been taking the supplements continually since 2008 and also take Fish Oil, EveningPrimrose Oil & some others that support my low thyroid. I think I came in armed with a good supplement program. One thing I am FORCING myself to do is to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks everyday. This is key b/c it regulates blood sugar. I was getting into the routine of AM coffee and wine by 11AM no food until 4PM and by then it was junk.

                              So now I am following my NEW RULES! Have a GREAT day ALL!
                              LT formerly known as stillcrawling

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