its come to this....

[Bustedchalk]

I am horrible with the english language even know its the only one I speak so don't be surprised if this is riddled with errors but here I go anyways..


I don't know how I have let my life come to this, but I am a strong believer that I have a drinking problem...and am not willing to let go or get over that I need help.

I am not a everyday drinker but am more of a weekend warrior..one that doesn't know when to quit, I waste larges amounts of money and can be found drinking for hours on end, sometimes days thanks to drugs. It use to be the acceptable thing to do and no one really noticed but now I am 23 and am noticing that a lot of my friends have moved on to other things but I still wanna be that party rock star that I was when I was 19-20....

I can go all week with out worrying about drinking but as soon as I have 1 beer on a friday, I just wanna drop everything I am doing and just party...I never wanna do drugs unless I am drunk so I know if I can quit drinking that they will not be a issue.


I have recently just got finished dealing with court and can now not drive for 1 year due to a DUI and can not get a job in a trade that I just finished school for.... I have wasted 85 percent of the money I have probably ever made in my life on drinking and drugs, and because of my drinking and partying I lost a girl I was very much in love with for 5 years, and am now starting to loose friends.... I need to quit now before it competely destroys my life ( if it hasn't already ) I also find myself very depressed and pessimistic.

I am very stubborn and can't get over the thought of not drinking anymore, I feel like I will just become a loner and stay home all the time if I didn't go out drinking... I wouldn't see the point in going on camping trips, or to a concert or anything unless I was gonna be drinking...


anyways, those are my thoughts...

[dancingon]

its come to this....

I can identify. I'm 49 and still struggling with how it will be if I give up entirely. But, hey, eventually you come round to what's right for you. You are obviously worried, and that is a good thing. It means your conscience is still working. You know you can still have fun sober and you can always offer to be the sober driver for your friends. Lots of girls aren't impressed by guys drinking themselves to a standstill, so you may even become a local hero. Do what's right for you and get your act together. :goodjob:

[johnnyh]

its come to this....

Hey Busted,

Welcome first of all.

I know people that have got similar problems in terms of the AL, Substance story. I know them very closely actually. Thing with them was also that they got drunk and than onto the substances (for a while until they got so hooked that using substances sober wasn't an issue anymore). I'ts a hectic cycle and a chicken/egg scenario as it leaves you hookd on two of teh most difficult things in life to quit.

I was also into substances in my late teen years in an experimental way and also usually when I drank so wasn't much of an issue to quit later (so I hope the same for you). But my alcoholism got worse (from the weekend warrior to the everyday warrior eventually).

Quitting drinking is the most important step I think you're right. Sober of the AL you will be able to deal with other issues. Also, if you know you have issues with feeling depressed, please don't be shy to go see a doctor and get a prescription for anti depris. Am on it myself. It helps a lot! And it's definately not an un manly thing or so!!!

Go for it Busted. Together we can all do this! Stay on the forum, read and keep posting.

[mollyka]

its come to this....

Hi Busted
Been there, worn the t-shirt etc. You are very lucky (yes you are!) to realise you have a problem so young and be willing to deal with it without wasting anymore life, and believe you me with a will you can turn everything around.
There are loads of points in your post which others will and have addressed but the point you make that you dread life without alcohol -the trips, events etc all seem pointless - Busted, we all feel like that, we didn't drink for the 'good of our health' (so to speak!) it was because it appears and a lot of the time does make these times more fun. Unfortunately for many of us it isn't a choice, 'will I drink or won't I?' can't come into it. At best we are 'problem' drinkers, and probably we are mostly alcoholics and it is progressive. If you are drinking too much now and having problems, imagine the problems in 5 yrs time, 10 yrs time!
You must change your mindset and funnily enough your mind seems to click into gear and see life outside the alcoholic haze after a very short time alcohol free. Life is great out there Busted, give it a chance - cut out the booze for a few days and see how you feel.
By the way, your English is excellent, your self-esteem is low too you poor thing - alcohol does that as well.
Keep posting and good luck
Molly

[Stargazerlily]

its come to this....

Hey busted chalk, good for you on being so honest with yourself and us. I am an old drinker, but have a daughter who is 24 who also realizes that she has to slow down the drinking. She is now able to have no more than two drinks when she goes out. Also, some of her friends are turning into full blown alcoholics, gaining weight, and only focusing on their partying. It is hard for her and she has had to make some tough decision as to whom she will hang out with and what she wants her life to be.

So, maybe you would benefit from total abstinence, or maybe you can moderate. This is a personal journey. Keep posting and learning. Sending you wisdom and strength.

[hillsidetime]

its come to this....

Hi Busted, I can totally relate to what you are saying. I wish I was as young as you when I made the realisation. I feel that I could have written your entry. The good news is that you are here. Write and read lots. For me moderation does not work, I know I don't want a beer, I want a lot of beer. Hang in there, you can do it.
Hill

[Lavande]

its come to this....

Hi Busted,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place, glad you found us!
You are already suffering from the effects of AL! A DUI, loss of money, friendships, your self esteem, etc. You need to get a grip on this behavior before your health goes down the road as well!

If you haven't already, read the MWO book, you can download it directly from the Health Store. It is full of useful info to help you understand & get started. Make yourself a plan to help you stay on your program. Take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for good ideas to help you make your plan.

You are fortunate in that you are a young man & wise enough to reach out for help now. Take back control of your life, don't let the demon take over!! Don't waste any more time worrying about not having fun without AL, that's just not true! It is fun having control of your life & health & not making an idiot of yourself every weekend - trust me!!!

Best wishes to you on your journey!

Lav

[BurrCO]

its come to this....

Hey Busted. I too have a hard time with the "no AL for the rest of my life." I have been going out to bars and games and only drinking soda quite a bit lately. Saves money and isn't really that bad. The best thing isn't the drinking, its the socializing. It's hard, I know, but try not to think about AL as something that is good or makes you have more fun. We CAN have a good time without drinking. It is possible. This is a good place to start though. Everyone else has already told you about the useful stuff on this site. Good luck man.

Burr

[~EVA~]

its come to this....

Welcome~

I just want to give you a big hug. You are young (not a bad thing) & realize that you have a problem. I'm turning 40 ish soon and have been fighing this demon all during my 30's.
I wish I could go back in time. You are lucky. Seize the moment.
best of luck,
peace.

[Bustedchalk]

its come to this....

Thank you everyone for your nice comments,

I woke up this morning a lot more optimistic then when I went to bed, and after reading everyones comments I've decided I am gonna give this my 100% best shot. I didn't want it to go as far as needing to attend AA and I think this place will be a nice medium for me, I was overwhelmed how supportive everyone was in the chat room last night and I plan to become a very active member here. I will come up with a game plan today, and of course do some more reading of the site. I will also look into the MWO book.


i must say though my emotions tend to flip flop around on me quite a bit, so I hope I can keep this on a roll.

Anywhere I can find some good idea's of what I should base my plan around, I know getting back in shape would be at the top of my list...also saving money.

Thanks!