ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

[KatieB]

Hi all,

I hope everyone is having a great day.. for those of you where its still not morning, I hope you all have a great day to come!

I have been playing with my son all day.. I took him to the park, and now I am making a lamb roast dinner for us both.. we have already had half a choc bunny between us! and yes, the ears tasted the best! lol :H

I am determined to stay away from AL this long Easter weekend, no matter how lonely I feel (my son's Dad is picking him up tomorrow to have him until Mon night).. I have made a list of things to do, plus I am working Sat and Mon anyway.. take care all and wishing you all a successful AF Good Friday!

Katie xxx

[Guest]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Thanks for starting us off, KB.

All good here in Brisbane. I went shopping yesterday and stocked up on my Easter drinks. Grapefruit juice, soda, coke and fizzy water.

We've been out to the Festival of Sails this morning. Bought loads of things from the market. Just chilling out now - I'm going to start on the crosswords in yesterday's paper.

My first social event is coming up on Sunday - dinner with friends. I feel OK about the dinner as one of the other ladies doesn't drink and it's not looking like it's going to be a Big One anyway. I will offer to drive. The tempation for me will be on the way home. Before I would drop into the bottle shop so I could have a good drink on my own. Have to keep up with the L-Glut that evening.

Catch up later.

Spam xxxx

[Anotherday]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Thanks for starting this Katie. Greetings Katie and Spam from across the ponds! It's still two hours here where I am in the U.S. until Friday but I need to write.

I found out today that my father is going into hospice. I've been researching on the Net and the criteria in his case is six months or less left to live. He is old and it's his time, but it's still hard for me. I've been living with his disease for so many years and it's finally coming to an end. No life-saving measures will be extended. The last time I saw him I held his hand and we walked the hall and now he doesn't even have the strength to push himself up from the chair. He was always such a walker...

I am on day 7 AF and was on day 6 NF but went to the store and bought cigarettes (and I am smoking one) and wine. I don't want to drink the wine but bought it "just in case" I need it. I don't know how to get through this without my usual coping mechanisms but I am at least going to try to not drink my way through it and I will try to quit smoking again soon.

Just took half a sleeping pill and my plan is to hopefully get a decent night's rest, wake up and go for a walk. I am just feeling sad.

AD

[dancingon]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

That's sad Anotherday. :l
I know it's hard to keep going when you're feeling sad and stressed, but this isn't going away tomorrow. The alcohol doesn't really make it easier to cope, I'm beginning to see - just dulls your senses for a while, and it will all still be there in the morning, with a headache and disappointment to make it worse.
Get some sleep and hope you feel better in the morning. I don't know what your relationship is like, but I hope you get to spend some time with him.

[KatieB]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

I'm sorry to hear that too Anotherday..
I hope you can talk to your counsellor about the feelings you are going through right now?
We are here for you too..
Katie xx

[Stargazerlily]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Anotherday, I am so sorry that your father is so ill and in hospice. You will get through this.

I went through this almost six years ago with my mother and it was heartbreaking, but very meaningful in that we had some good talks, talked about our love, said good bye, and just spent time together. It is so hard to let go. My heart goes out to you.

KatieB, you sound so strong. Hope you realize what a wonderful mother you are, caring and loving, putting your son's needs first. Plus, it sounds like you and he are having some fun, playing outside, eating a special dinner!! Your intentions on staying AF all Easter weekend and your plans will get you through this time. Take care.

[Anotherday]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Stargazerlily and KatieB,

Thank you. Your words mean a lot. I am not going to drink that wine. I know it won't help. The last time I was up there to see him - what made things right was I did the trip AF. I will always have the memory of holding his hand and walking him through the hall ever so slowly. I want to keep that memory and not screw things up. I won't be seeing him again before he dies. I've decided that. He does not know who I am anyway.

The best thing I can do for him is to get ME together. He would want this, you know? I need to do this so I can be strong and not fall apart and attend his funeral properly and provide proper support to my mother. She deserves it.

At any rate, just in the middle of my mid-night insomnia break and waiting to go back to sleep.

AD

[Guest]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Hi AD,

My father died in 2003. He went into hospital for something minor and things escalated from there. I collected my mother from the hospital on the evening before he died. My mother asked me not to see him and hold onto the better memories. (Although she did say it was my choice.)

I decided not to see him and I am still happy with that decision. I saw him a few days before he died. My mother claimed he was blind by that point but when I showed him a photo of my son, he knew who it was.

I am sending strength to you so you can get through this tough time. Don't drink. If you go the the hospital, your mother's or the funeral with a hangover, you will have a hard time forgiving yourself.

:l
Spam xx

[Guest]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Stargazerlily;831931 wrote: KatieB, you sound so strong. Hope you realize what a wonderful mother you are, caring and loving, putting your son's needs first. Plus, it sounds like you and he are having some fun, playing outside, eating a special dinner!! Your intentions on staying AF all Easter weekend and your plans will get you through this time. Take care.

KB - I agree with Star. You really sound like things are coming together.

When my husband is away (which is often) I find it difficult to cook a decent meal. And there you are cooking gorgeous roast dinners! It sounds to me like you are building a proper family life for you and the young man.

Spam xx

[Rusty]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Anotherday,

I know what you're going through as I have been there myself. These are sad times. You are right in that your father needs you to be healthy and of a sound mind....and your mother needs you, too. You will feel so much better about yourself for it. I will be thinking of you.

Rusty

[spuddleduck]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

AD, i feel for you. my dad has started going to day sessions at the hospice. its a hard feeling to deal with. i am determined not to drink through this. he was in hospital last year for an op that he was not expected to get through. i went to see him drunk!! i felt so awful and disgusted at myself. this was not good for him or for my family. as you say one thing you can do for him is keep your sobriety. well done for not drinking, it will not help at all, you already know that. he will get great care in the hospice and you will be there sober for him and your family.
thinking about you, spuds xxx

[fluff]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Got thru Thursday just fine-now in for Friday. Just watched " Survivor" and "Fringe" with my daughter then went to bed. Today is a beautiful day-Yay-spring is finally here! Going to the shore for a day trip! Another Day-sorry about your dad- best wishes to you,
Fluff

[Hypernova]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Anotherday ~~

I am truly sorry for the very tough stage you have reached at having to put your dad into a hospice. Losing someone close to you seems so unnatural and unfair. I am sorry for your pain. ~~ Alcohol may seem like it is a coping tool b/c it always worked in the past. Do you think it still will ? Sit out the sadness and try and process it with a sober mind and learn to cope without alcohol. Accepting what is happening to you and your family won't be easy to get through but you can do it. Pour the wine down the drain and as you watch it flow be glad it is going there rather into your body. Give yourself power over the alcohol and you will reward yourself with a great sense of accomplishment. Do the right thing for yourself and your family. ~~ I wish you well through this painful period of time.

[mama bear]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Hey gang...
I am finally here....I am slammed at work....the first of the month is a crazy time for landlords...
Another Day...I am sorry about your Dad.....just be there for hima nd be clear headed, if you can...
My best to everyone else
katie...save me a piece of roast...yumm!

[KatieB]

ODAT Friday 2nd April 2010

Spam;832001 wrote: KB - I agree with Star. You really sound like things are coming together.

When my husband is away (which is often) I find it difficult to cook a decent meal. And there you are cooking gorgeous roast dinners! It sounds to me like you are building a proper family life for you and the young man.

Spam xx

Thank you Spam and Star,

I just find being AF gives me the motivation to want to do things that previously would have seemed like too much hard work!
MB - i have saved you some lamb and roast potatoes! it was truly yummy.. now that its nearly winter here in Oz, the weather is cooler so I like to make roast dinners at least once a week.. (a British tradition that I cannot get rid of lol!)
I am trying my best to give my son the best single-mum life he can have.. though I am not perfect.. but will keep trying as I love him so much I want him to be happy..
Katie xx