Hillsidetime- I made it through Easter dinner, although it was uncomfortable. A few hours into it, with all the boring sitting around with distant family members watching them drink their wine and beer I had to just jet out of there. I say distant, even though they are my 2 sisters and their families, we're just not that close.
I have this sponsor thing going on. A. I have this guy who has been my sponsor on and off for the past few years. He's 30 years sober and has great wisdom concerning the basics. I've been telling him I want to do this 4 week 12 thing he's been doing, which starts up again the end of this week. It's a 4 week thing and each week you go through 3 steps, then it starts all over again.
Next though is this interesting situation which popped up this weekend. Easter morning as I'm down at my parents (2 hours away) I find an open speaker meeting. This guy befriends me and we talk recovery and I tell him my story in brief and he tells me how the steps changed his life and he's been sober over a year and a half now. And he's getting married in a few months. (I'm single and would love the same, so it was evidence of good things happening in this guys live via sobriety and the steps.) So he wants to recruit me as a sponsee even though we're in another state.
I like the idea of something new, with someone new, and his recovery seems solid with the steps and big book.
I cannot do both though.
I tell this new guy that I at least want to chat somemore so we know a bit more about each other before any decision is made.
My old sponsor knows me and all my issues, but as we have worked together there are some core beleifs that snag the progress.
So I feel like I want to feel this guy out and see if his approach will encompass my issues.
I just want to go back to bed and not deal with life today.
I just started back on this antidepressant last week (the beginning of this sobriety) and it makes me tired as all heck. I consider getting off the stuff, but I also am afraid of relapse. So earlier I was telling myself to just stay on it and get at least 2 weeks sobriety together and then see.
It's 10am and I am burned out already.
JB
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