Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

[4MyHealth]

Okay...I'm a Newbie. Joined in March. Thought I could Mod from the start. Am not modding. Well, I am drinking less than b4 but more than I should. Why didn't I listen to those with experience? So tomorrow I am going to try (operative word) to start a 30 day AF.

Hard for me because I have a few dinner parties and my anniversary in those 30 days.

Any advise and tough love is welcome...I think.

[NoraC]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

I think that you have made a very important decision. It is also a hard decision to make. So, good job on making it!
I think being AF for at least 30 days is very helpful. Clears your body & mind. I did drink after the 30 days but think I'll shoot for another 30. I find it is helpful.
So, congratulations on your next AF 30 days!!!!!:goodjob:

[4MyHealth]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Thanks Nora! Here's to 30 AF for both of us!! Hooray!!

[spuddleduck]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

good desicion. i came here will intentions of trying to mod. a lot of people suggested doing 30 days AF first. im now on 50 days and know that i cant try modding yet, if ever as i still think in the complete wrong way about drinking. heres to your 30 days.. its not easy but it IS WORTH IT

[hillsidetime]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Hi 4myhealth, many of us have struggled with moderation, for me I did it for years and years. I now know, that I can't do it, so I don't drink period. Any day without drinking is good, 30 is a wonderful goal. The social events cause a lot of stress for us for sure (when others don't know that we are not drinking). I have made it past the 9 week mark, and have managed a lot of functions without disclosing that I had quit. I had to be creative, and not attend some things. You can do it. You can also have a wonderful anniversary without booze. None of us had a wedding vow that included alcohol. Good luck,
Hill

[Lavande]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

You've made a good decision for yourself 4MyHealth!
Focus on your comittment & yourself, don't worry about the social occasions. Staying home is always an option if you think you will feel tempted to drink. I stayed close to home myself for the first two months until I was sure of myself. By the third month, I was confident enough to get on a plane & fly off to another country for an AF vacation & enjoyed myself immensely!
Stay close to MWO, read & post often. The support you receive here is priceless

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[4MyHealth]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Spuddleduck & hillside, thanks and congratulations on your 50 days/9 weeks AF! Both are impressive and I hope I have that resolve in me. So much of our social activities (my husband's and mine) revolve around food and wine; so I will be creative, as you say, and make this work.
Lavande, thank you for your words of encouragement! AF for over a year!!! Congratulations! That must feel amazing! Yes, the support here is priceless and just amazing. I can't believe I have people I can talk to this openly and honestly about alcohol and my problems with it. What a blessing this site is!!

[Guest]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

It was only 2 weeks ago I didn't think I could string more than 2 days AF together, now look at me! So it can be done and I'd tried everything in the past. Regards the events and meals etc. Don't worry about it remember no one can force you to drink and I'm sure they prefer the sober you anyway.

Keep updating us on your progress.

[LVT25]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Good for you for reaching out 4my! You'll get lots of support here for sure.
It's almost hard to remember now, but I think the most important thing for me that first 30 days was changing up my routine. Normally I would drink in the evenings and keep busy with projects and chores. Instead, I spent a bunch of time on the computer. MWO mostly. I watched the Food network a lot and did more cooking than usual. I went for walks. I tried lots of different drinks. I drank Diet Pepsi in a can because I was a beer drinker and I guess the can gave me a little comfort? I drank tomato juice because I liked red beers. I did some AF beer, but that can be touchy for some. It kinda was for me, because it left me wanting to smoke sometimes. I read lots of books. Since my hubby is still a big drinker, I'm learning to do my own thing, mostly with my kids. We still get along, it can be really frustrating at times, but it's working.
Feel free to PM me anytime!
You can do this!

[4MyHealth]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Thanks UK and LVT! Today, when I think about making progress forward, I feel excited. I just have to keep that feeling going. I'm sure people do prefer the sober me. I just hate to say "I don't drink anymore" because that feels like saying "I have a drinking problem". Even though I'm sure they already know it, I don't want to say it. Crazy mentality, huh?! I think I'll just say I'm on antibiotics at first. Then I'll say, hey, I stopped drinking bc I was on antibiotics and I lost this weight and just want to keep going! That should work, right?
UK - 2 weeks must feel great. Do you have a lot of energy now? Good for you! I've read a lot of your posts (I'm a lurker); so I'm glad you're doing well.
LVT - evenings are hard for me bc when the clock strikes 5, I grab a glass of wine! Now that the weather is nicer, I can sit outside while my kids play. I know what you mean about your hubby. Mine doesn't drink a lot, but does enjoy a beer or cocktail or two most days.
I'll keep you posted. I think once I hit day 7, I'll post it on my page, like you all have done. Day 6 and 7 will be the hardest (Friday and Saturday).

[Quit Quitting]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Hi 4MyHealth, and everyone elso on this thread or reading it,

I am with you - been a total idiot these past few days - managed 4 days AF then completely blew it - Day 1 for me too.

[Doggygirl]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

4MyHealth;836256 wrote: Hard for me because I have a few dinner parties and my anniversary in those 30 days.

Any advise and tough love is welcome...I think.

Congrats on your decision to do 30 AF. I was another one who struggled for many years trying to control what for me is uncontrollable. Getting sober is one of the best decisions I have ever made. My life is better in unbelievable ways. Perfect? No. Way WAY more happy and manageable? YES!!

In any 30 day period, you are bound to have some social things or birthdays or holidays or something going on. After a relapse, I kept drinking for 8 months and among the many stumbling blocks I created for myself during that time, waiting until "after ________" to stop drinking again was one of them. First it was a vacation. Then a social thing. Then Thanksgiving. Well, and by that point, why not wait until after Christmas? Oops - and New Year too. Oh wait. The Super Bowl Party. I'll quit after that. Oops - better wait until after my birthday. And my husband's birthday. You get the picture! :H

There are lots and lots of people staying sober one day at a time. If they can do it, I can do it. If I can do it, you can do it.

I can't say I will never drink again. I CAN say that I cannot drink safely, ever. If I take one drink, I really don't know for sure what will happen next. And I don't want to go there and find out.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

DG

[4MyHealth]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Thanks DG, I do always say "after" this or after that. I am so nervous about Friday and Saturday. I have been such a party girl (I'm not a girl, I'm 40). What the heck am I going to do on Friday and Saturday?! Friday was always "the week is over, have some drinks". Saturday was: "it is Saturday, have some drinks". Not funny, I know. At least I can say, "today is Monday, behave!". ...I guess the answer is to say "today is Friday/Saturday, behave!"

[Doggygirl]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

I know how daunting that is at first. I got to the point where I nearly always had a drink in my hand no matter what I was doing (or not doing - lots of sitting on my ass and drinking!) So learning how to live without a drink in my hand seemed daunting to say the least!

For quite awhile, just not drinking was a real chore. It helped me to stay busy. I kept a list of things to do. Even the most mundane of things were on that list. Some chore type things, and I also made myself put some fun type things on there too. The benefit of that written list was that when a strong urge hit, I didn't have to think very hard. I just pulled out the list and picked something. Distractions are WAY better than just sitting with your urge. There is actual research on this. Somewhere is a thread called "Don't Stare at the Marshmallow."

Anyway... Active things (i.e. take a walk, go to the gym, tour the local museum, etc.) are better than passive things (read, soak in the tub, etc.). However IMO, ANYTHING is better than staring at the marshmallow.

YOU CAN.

DG

[mollyka]

Just Getting It...Day 1 AF

Hi 4myhealth,
at first the weekends do seem nearly impossible to imagine without alcohol - they are somehow pointless without booze yeah? The way I found it was that once I got through the first Fri/Sat without AL it just seemed a lot easier the next week cos I had done it the week before and after a couple of them you sort of disassociate the two. Only a few months down the road I barely register that it is the weekend except I don't have to go to work and that they seem soooo much longer cos I'm actually conscious the whole time!!!
Good luck, its great, really
Molly