Havn't been on here for a while and progressivly getting worse. Can anyone tell me what exactly I am doing to myself so I snap out of this sickly state I am in as nothing is working for me.
For example - husband away last night. I am a 155cm tall ( approx 5 foot) weigh 60 kilos and I managed to drink 18 mid strength beers. That is disgusting and i feel like shit this morning.
My tolerance to al is scaring me and I need help. I basically don't sleep past about 3am after going to bed with my son at around 8.30pm. Have all intensions about getting back up after I lie down with him but hey after 8 or so beers I don't.
So when my son falls asleep before me I take this oppurtunity to drink more. What the hell is wrong with me. So sick of waking up sick that I don't really know how to help myself?? Do I honestly love beer more than life itself?
I have gained 7 kilos in the past 12 months and am hating myself more and more. I smoke as well and besides that hangovers I am starting to feel numbness in my fingers and I am scared.
I used to exercise once and loved it and have always been quite fit and trim and took pride in my appearance but the devil has got me and i am so angry.
Tomorrow I am visiting the GP and I am hoping he can help, I feel like a basket case, this depression that is caused by drinking and the weight gain that is caused by drinking SO why in the hell do I do it ....
I have heard about naltrexone will this help me, i need help and am willing to try anything I love my family and they need me.
K
Comment