FEELING BETTER

[BUDDY BLACK]

ITS BEEN ALMOST 5 DAYS,SLIGHT HEADACHE BUT FEEL GOOD AF FREE. I WROTE A POST BUT DO NOT THINK IT CAME THRU THE OTHER DAY,HERE IS THE QUESTION,WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN FAMILY,FRIENDS,CO-WORKERS ALL DRINK AND ITS BEEN SUCH A MAIN STAPLE IN YOUR LIFE. ALCOHOL IS AT EVERY FUNCTION!! JUST SAY NO THE REST OF MY LIFE? NANCY REAGAN WOULD BE PROUD LOL. ANYWAY THANKX FOR LISTENING!

[Guest]

FEELING BETTER

AL is not necessary for a happy life. Just concentrate on your [NOT] drinking. The other thing to remember is that your life was being affected negatively through AL so you will be a better person without it. Anyone who cares about you will almost definitely prefer the sober you, so would accept your decision not to drink and possible be quite relieved to see you not drinking. AL is everywhere in society but it's actually a dangerous drug, just happens to be acceptable but you aren't forced to drink it. If anyone thinks you are odd for not drinking well you aren't you did it to save your life - yes AL is a killer, so what's odd about deciding not to kill yourself?

One day at a time and make a plan for social situations.

[mario]

FEELING BETTER

Buddy black.. Over years of drinking,people build up social circles and friendships which are often based partially on drinking. So what are people supposed to do with those friendships? How can an alcoholic continue to socialise with their friends when those people are still drinking? Especially when that person probably needs a lot of social support during the change process.

Letting go of old friends is something that most people just don’t want to do, and even if they don’t remove them from their lives, many problem drinkers/alcoholics are worried that their friends won’t like them so much any more – they won’t think they are quite so much fun. Making new friends is just not that simple.

Unfortunately this is not a problem with an easy solution. you can always give AA meetings a try or something simlar ?
But i have found personally that i have attracted (if that's the word)other people who dont drink, like everything else in this journey it takes a little time to adjust,so give yourself some time and concentrate on staying alcohol free,At this moment that is your first priority..

[gyco]

FEELING BETTER

new growth

BUDDY BLACK;838027 wrote: ITS BEEN ALMOST 5 DAYS,SLIGHT HEADACHE BUT FEEL GOOD AF FREE. I WROTE A POST BUT DO NOT THINK IT CAME THRU THE OTHER DAY,HERE IS THE QUESTION,WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN FAMILY,FRIENDS,CO-WORKERS ALL DRINK AND ITS BEEN SUCH A MAIN STAPLE IN YOUR LIFE. ALCOHOL IS AT EVERY FUNCTION!! JUST SAY NO THE REST OF MY LIFE? NANCY REAGAN WOULD BE PROUD LOL. ANYWAY THANKX FOR LISTENING!

hi bud,nancy reagan has nothing to do with it,she doesnt get your reprocussions from drinking the next day,you seem to be benefitting fromnot using the stuff,thro my many years of stopping and starting,ive lerned it is not normal as people say it is [to drink]specially how some entertain it,it is a rewarding way of life,sobriety,as many will say,its easy,it is not,if it were,they wouldnt come here,it the drinking would be over,it is not,for some,its an ongoing war of the mind,does it have its benefits,yes as youve noticed,i wish you well,its all up to you,it will be interesting to watch your progress gyco:welcome::goodjob:

[hillsidetime]

FEELING BETTER

Hi Buddyblack, congratulations on the 5 days, way to go. UK, and Mario make great points above for sure. I am new to being af, I am just about at 10 weeks. The physiological pain, angst, headaches, cravings etc I expected and received. The powerful urges that have to be "ridden" like waves, I learned to deal with from awesome people in here. The social cues and issues around parties, dinners out, functions with booze, and all of the strings attached, I did not really think about - and found myself in the same boat as you.

I have not yet made any proclamation to anyone (except my immediate family). I have attended functions and drank from glasses with pop in it etc, or said not now thanks etc, I have found ways to not drink without saying "no thanks I don't drink anymore". I don't know when I am going to be at this stage. It has been good to live through some of these weekends that usually involve me drinking a lot, and experience them sober. It has been hard though. It is still something I am working through, like yourself, but is seems to be getting a little easier. Anyway, keep up the good work,
Hill

[looking for peace]

FEELING BETTER

Hey BB, I just posted something similar about hoping not to drink around my sister and then I found your post and some of the answers apply to me. I have found it easier to attend large functions without drinking, people don't really notice at all. Someone posted once that you put yourself in an observer's position, it's like theater... watching everyone else drink while you are not, it's pretty fun actually.

It's harder not to drink one on one, or when out with another couple, especially when you aren't ready to explain yourself and your situation. I have had friends in the past (aquaintences) that didn't drink at dinner and I noticed it, but was fine with it... even a bit jealous. (although my sister and brother in law would not be fine with going out with non drinkers and would never ask you out again, but that's another story)

Although I haven't used these excuses recently, these may help: I'm trying to lose some extra weight, I'm on medication for something, my stomach has been bothering me, my blood pressure is creeping up, etc. And then maybe a bit later, saying something like I took off from drinking for awhile and just feel so much better. And then you see who sticks with you and who doesn't and the ones that don't are probably not worth it anyway (even if they are family)

[runningwind]

FEELING BETTER

Buddy Black,

I think for a time (and we are all different) ,too stay away from AF events is a good thing to do. Then as you get stronger... you'll be better equipped to handle all those situations.
Wishing you the best!

runningwind

[papmom3]

FEELING BETTER

Hi Buddy,
I haven't been to many social functions since I went AF. One dinner at my sisters, a birthday party, a dinner at my dad's just him and me and Easter dinner out. Easter was the only time I had a drink and I planned for it. My family is extremely relieved and proud that I have gone AF. They have been really worried about me, exp. driving, for a long time but were too scared to say anything. My sister is now questioning her AL intake and my dad has decided to cut down as well. As you can see, it's been a family affair for a long time. I've also let a few friends know that I know longer drink-these were non AL friends to begin with and I think they were suprised to learn I had a problem. I don't really have any AL friends anymore as I did most of my drinking alone in my house or at family get togethers.
There will be a few situations this spring and summer where AL will be the star. I'm not going to worry about them until that day. ODAT. I never want to wake up feeling the way I did on March 5th again and I NEVER want to drive drunk again, not even buzzed. I think by the time these events come around, I'll be even stronger and will be able to say proudly, no thanks, I don't drink but please, help yourself!!
I wish you the best of luck in your continued sobriety. Please keep us updated and keep those thoughts and questions coming!!

[mollyka]

FEELING BETTER

Hiya Buddy
It is a problem, and I found I had to be ruthless. Some of my friends are drinkers who couldn't give a toss if I drank water, beer, vodka anything. Some of my 'friends' quite frankly ( I suspect like LookingforPeaces sister and BIL) have NO interest in keeping in touch with me and nearly treat me with suspicion. These latter people I have had to drop from my life because they are the people who will say 'go on go on have just one', regardless of what excuse I have used ( I'm going to die in 3 mins if I drink ' ah go on go on have just one!!!! Only joking!).
Have to say I am more comfortable with very moderate or non drinkers at the moment and actually it has surprised me since I stopped drinking how many people actually don't drink.
Molly

[Lavande]

FEELING BETTER

Hi Buddy,

Congrats on your AF time!
Glad to hear you are beginning to feel better - such a bonus

Give yourself some time to adjust to this new way of life - Rome wasn't built in a day, was it?
I stayed home for over 2 months until I felt strong enough to go out & deal with the world & people in general. I needed that time to convince myself that I was indeed OK with being AF. I'm glad I did too because when I finally did emerge I did so with a completely different attitude! I felt strong & determined to keep my comittment, no matter what!!

Wishing you the best for continued success.
Lav