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    #1

    Feeling Very Anxious

    I'm on day 49 and so far - well I've had my rough spots (can't sleep, pacing, changing habits) but I've managed to get through these issues even though I face them every day still. But now I am on Day 2 of waking up in the morning with a pounding headache and a depression I have not felt in a while. And a really high level of anxiety.

    So I am working from home (even though I should really be in the office, but I can get away with it) because I don't trust my emotions and not sure how I will react to people/situations.

    It hit me today - we are having some friends for the weekend and one couple is spending the night. I talked with my friend and asked her what she wanted to drink - sweet wine. Her husband - Baileys. My husband - beer. So I am picking it all up this afternoon and I realize I am as vulnerable to AL as I was on Day 1. I am so very worried I will do the "I'll just have one" glass of wine or beer routine. Or worse. I have had control over most of my social situations (and really cut back on being around people drinking) and this is one situation that I worry I may fall off the wagon - and I can't because I have come this far.

    Help!
    Tags: None
    #2
    Feeling Very Anxious

    1. do you have any anti anxiety meds?
    2. can you get out of this situation
    3. can you explain to your friends what you are going through
    4. can you husband be supportive by not drinking????
    This is gonna be tough, but don't plan on faililng....we are here for you
    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
    Live in the Solution....not the problem

    Comment

      #3
      Feeling Very Anxious

      Farm Girl- do you have any Calms Forte? Taking the maximum dose 3x a day might just take the edge of this anxiety. Obviously this weekend is your first real test and it's really worrying you. Do you have the supplements? The L-Glut at the very least really works and you can take more than what is recommended in the book. What about the CDs? If you have them, clear some time to listen to the Clearing one and the Hypnosis one. People on this forum swear by them in times of stress. This is huge for you so make sure you have a plan and you're taking care of you first. Good luck and please let us know how you are doing!! Don't forget to eat and drink LOTS of water as you are preparing for your guests.
      Hugs.
      New Birthday: May 8, 2010

      "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

      KO the Beast!!

      Comment

        #4
        Feeling Very Anxious

        You can do it farm girl! Just have your plan set. What ARE your plans for the night? Do you have something to do besides sit and chat and drink? Play cards, a game, movie? Take a look at the tried and true tool box thread https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and the sobriety plan https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...lan-41280.html. What do YOU have planned to drink that's really appealing to you? And alternatives for your husb and guests to offer them as well as what they want. Serve stuff that doesn't go well with Baileys and sweet wine :H Seriously, this is doable and will be a great building block in your empowerment!
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

        Comment

          #5
          Feeling Very Anxious

          Hey Farmgirl! I sympathise with the social side of things - hate it!! I get seriously anxious when I have to meet up with anyone in a drinking situation. The VERY VERY best advice I got here was from Doggygirl i.e. just don't give yourself ANY permission to drink - absolutely none, no faffing around, no if buts or maybes and all of a sudden the situation seems clear. It might be still boring or tedious but boredom never killed anyone. It sounds a bit too simple when DG first said it I couldn't see what possible difference it could make - but it did - for me anyway - give it a go and best of luck
          Molly:fingers:
          Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
          contentedly NF since 8/04/14

          Comment

            #6
            Feeling Very Anxious

            FG - good for you recognizing the source of your stressed feelings. Decide RIGHT NOT that you will NOT DRINK under any circumstances. That is job number 1. I would also make an "exit strategy" just as you would do if you were going to a party at somebody elses house. I hope you can engage your husband in this so you have support on the home front for whatever you have to do. But even if you DON'T have that support, still decide you won't drink.

            I love Greenie's ideas about possible ACTIVE things to do. I'm that way too - just sitting around while others drink is difficult. It's a LOT easier if there is some action!

            YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

            Whatever suffering you think you are going through staying sober won't be a fraction of the craptacular way you will feel on every level if you drink.

            DG
            Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
            Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

            One day at a time.

            Comment

              #7
              Feeling Very Anxious

              FG,

              I don't envy your position but several people at MWO have posted before that when you are around people who are drinking and you want to stay sober, it is totally acceptable to lie about why you
              are not imbibing with the rest of the crowd. Engage your husband in a mutually acceptable plan and then say you're taking medication for a sinus infection, and you can't drink. Or, you've noticed lately that AL gives you a pounding headache so you've decided not to drink for a while. They probably won't give it another thought.

              In the past, we lied to maintain our drinking and it might taking lying to your friends to maintain your sobriety until you feel comfortable telling them the real reason. If the weather is nice, maybe you could all go for a walk/hike instead of sitting around and drinking.

              You have achieved a Herculean feat with 49 days of sobriety. Make it an even 50....then 100! Congratulations and good luck this weekend. We are all here for you!

              Rusty

              Comment

                #8
                Feeling Very Anxious

                Farm Girl,
                I'm with mama, here...see if you can get out of this engagement, and if you can't, see if your hubs will not drink...plus, why not explain what's up to your friends?

                Also, depression/anxiety runs in my family and it's part of what got me to my addicted state, I think. There are effective meds out there that can address your anxiety without "sedating" you. I suggest seeing a psychiatrist, or even your regular gp if you don't need talk therapy. :l

                Comment

                  #9
                  Feeling Very Anxious

                  I also am a fan of telling the truth. The level of detail I care to share depends on the person and how close I am to them. For most people "I don't drink any more" is enough.

                  When I relapsed and struggled so mightily, I realized that what got me in trouble was secretly keeping the door open for AL. Lying to people about not feeling well, or taking medication or whatever was a way of leaving the door open for AL. If I saw those people and drank, I wouldn't have to face anything.

                  My mind is a tricky place and I have to keep everything totally above board in my crazy brain to stay sober. And staying sober is my #1 priority.

                  The people who know me well knew long before I was willing to admit it that AL was a problem for me. So they support me. The people who are more casual acquaintances, well, I don't care what they think.

                  Most people don't care one way or the other if you drink or not, or why, so long as they can drink however they like to drink.

                  At least that's been my experience.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                  One day at a time.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Feeling Very Anxious

                    hi farm lady,the test is near,drink or not to drink,youve done a great job,you understand where it can lead you,many dont,be concerned for you,have some fun with it,ive been doin this yes no thing for a while,you have to feel good in YOU,over time you will lern that,i hope all works out,gyco have a wonderful weekend

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Feeling Very Anxious

                      Mama - I do have a sedative but it completely knocks me out. Mama and Fennel - Unfortunately I can't cancel as it's been planned for months...but I am going to talk to my husband tonight. He is down to a couple beers a week, and this is all for me so I don't get tempted. This is the first time he has really tried to help (you know, versus wanting me to quit but he can drink beer and vodka).

                      Papmom, I do have Calms Forte - I'll take some in the morning. I got my starter pack about 2 weeks ago (I know a little late...) so I'll try some L-glute tomorrow night.

                      Greeneyes,Gyco and Mollyk, thanks for the support. Doggygirl, thanks for the wisdom and the no option rule. It's what I have used up to now - no option, I can't and won't drink.

                      Rusty - my friend that is spending the night knows. You see, many people did not know I had a problem, so they don't really "believe" me. I have a feeling once she sees I'm serious, she may not drink much.

                      Will check in at the end of the weekend - Thanks for the support!

                      Comment

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