If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

[M22]

Why do I keep drinking? I did 3 days with no AL. I woke up singing, smiling and loving life. Why do I keep doing this to myself. I feel like I have no hope. I am ready to give up. I came home today fantisizing about me waking up feeling sober and wonderful." That's shot to shit".
M

[Guitarista]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

Hiya M22,
It's a real learning process, this staying off the booze thing. I stopped, started, stopped, started, again and again and again, before i got it. For me, there just came a point when i'd had enough of what drinking was doing to me. I almost lost everything, materially, at least. My soul, self respect, any light in my eyes and heart had left me, and had been gone for a long time as i preferred to isolate myself, and sit alone drinking myself to death, rather than out there playing with friend's and family.
I was fortunate in that there was alway's this tiny little spark, still residing within, that i just had to reach inside to grab, hold onto for dear life, and ignite.
Hang in there, learn from your experiences, think, reflect on where you really want to be, (and don't tell me dead, or i'll come over there and kick your ass hard) and how to get there. Get your plan in shape. Read the 'Toolbox' thread here in 'monthly abstinence' section to get some idea's and inspiration.

Best wishes, and stick with it. You can do it.

[KateH1]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

M22...this is why it is called Addiction. We continue to do exactly what we do not want to do. Yes, I agree completely with Guitarista....you have to put a plan together....get all of the alcohol out of your house, and do not buy more. And be determined not to give in to your urges to drink. Taking L-Glutamines really helped me with my urges, walking when I really wanted to drink and most of all being determined to get sober! Yes, read the Tool box thread....and get going!

Best Wishes!
Kate

[Farm Girl]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

M22 - we have all been there, trust me! Just do it for one day and then do it for the next day...and so on. The Tool box thread is great (I have used it today) so get started. You can have the sober life, trust me. And KateH1 is right on - it's an addiction. Don't let it control your life any longer!

[runningwind]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

M22;838345 wrote: Why do I keep drinking? I did 3 days with no AL. I woke up singing, smiling and loving life. Why do I keep doing this to myself. I feel like I have no hope. I am ready to give up. I came home today fantisizing about me waking up feeling sober and wonderful." That's shot to shit".
M

Because you keep believing that taking a drink will make you happy! It's a lie!!!
It will leave you too die and move on to the next person... It does not care for you for me for anyone!!! I am sorry, I am fighting my own demons right now...
You can do this... we can do this!!!

runningwind

[Boss.man]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

M22, Kate, Farm, running all say it. Let me say it a different way.

Alcohol is a chemical. It has properties. We could just as easily discuss gasoline or kerosene.

If you drink gasoline or kerosene, it will probably kill you. If you drink alcohol, the chemical properties happen mimic some natural chemicals in your body. If they didn't, then drinking would be as fun as gasoline, so you don't drink that you drink this. Get it?

Coincidentally the chemicals in your body that are mimicked by alcohol affect the emotive section of your brain. They also turn off the logical part of your brain. It's called an "addiction" because your emotions are attached to it. If your logic was attached to it, everyone at the party would turn into super nerds. Who would go to a party where everyone gets smarter with every drink?

The emotive section of your brain, also called your Amygdala or Lizard brain (Check both in Google for fun reading), has some interesting properties. For one thing, it doesn't sleep, explaining finally why drinking makes it fun to stay awake for deep (sic) conversations with your own Lizard brain. For another thing, it can override the "higher" logical part of your brain. (Duh). And alcohol has a chemical property that totally feeds this part of you. So does every other addictive substance, because the whole meaning of "addiction" is that it feeds your emotional self, despite your own logic.

To cure yourself, you have to fight your own brain. The logical "slow" part of your brain, has to take control of the illogical emotional and fast part of your brain. Got it?

This site has all the tools. And lots of people on the journey. And it's not an easy journey.

For me it became inspiring simply that I understood that it's not my fault. It's not my weakness. It's just a chemical. It has properties. It is my choice, to understand and use it, or find alternatives. After all, it could be just gasoline or kerosene we're talking about.

[Funny Girl]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

[QUOTE=Boss.man;838398]
If your logic was attached to it, everyone at the party would turn into super nerds. Who would go to a party where everyone gets smarter with every drink?

The emotive section of your brain, also called your Amygdala or Lizard brain (Check both in Google for fun reading), has some interesting properties. For one thing, it doesn't sleep, explaining finally why drinking makes it fun to stay awake for deep (sic) conversations with your own Lizard brain. For another thing, it can override the "higher" logical part of your brain. (Duh). And alcohol has a chemical property that totally feeds this part of you. So does every other addictive substance, because the whole meaning of "addiction" is that it feeds your emotional self, despite your own logic.

QUOTE]

Well, this just explains so many things about so many occasions, in so many chapters of my deviant existance . . . .wow . . . .

Now, I defnitely have something to chew on for about the next 6 months . . . .

Thanks Boss Man!

[gertrude mcfuzz]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

Great post Boss Man, that makes this whole battle a little easier to understand.

[mollyka]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

Love the name Gertrude! Hopefully you'll be 'Unfuzz' over time he he!!!
M22, like everyone before has said, there is no logic or at best perverse logic to this addiction. The 'logical' part probably tells us that if we are 'singing, smiling and loving life' sober that it will be twice as much fun drunk duhhhh!! Its a battle me ol mate, but every single day we are dry is a day we are winning that battle.
Thinking of you and will check in later after work
Molly

[gyco]

If I know how wonderful it is to be sober...

hi m22,ive never hurd it quite xplained like the boss man said,his theory is a good one,as we age,after abusing alchohol or other substances are brain also starts rebelling in other ways,at the rate some of us have drank,surprising are insides didnt just desolve into nothing,then the inevitable happens,i was reading an article the other day,lchohol from wines is actually good for you,note in small quantities,not the hole barrel at a time,there are many of us,in lamens turns ,are what you call ,over achievers,i hate to say it,so called normal people,have a gift we dont seem to have,they can moderate,even at times ,cauuse after an escapade,they just dont drink,they get it,painful,many of us tho,the brain from the beginning,short circuits,it actually convinces us,we like to be sick,unbeleiveable,but true,aanother fact,demencia,alchohol is being studied as of rt now,could be a leading cause to early signs,of demencia and alzheimers,da,go to your nearest hospital,they call it chronic care,a lot arent even old,but some studies have been done,many abused substance,for many years,i do so hope u keep the thot of,happiness,without drink gyco ps ive been doing this stop start thing for years,its a lot of work