Being Tested

[K9Lover]

Well today has been a crazy day. I am on day 15 AF. Some of you who have followed me may know that recently I have started talking to a therapist. Last Wednesday at my session we tackled a few of my "parent" issues, and I began telling him of my ex boyfriend. We made it a point to devot all next week's session to the ex boyfriend. Fine, we're starting to get somewhere now right? Wrong.

Today, out of the blue, after a year of no contact, dead silence....guess who decides to call me? Yep, none other than THE ex boyfriend.

Now let me set the stage. Today is the first night/weekend of my sobriety that I will be alone...my daughter is with her father. Was already going to be a tough weekend, a trigger.

Second, the person that has been plaguing my thoughts suddenly decides to call me out of the blue.

Perfect time to drink, to mask the feelings. Welll, NOT this time. I'm tired of covering up the wounds with a Beer Band Aid. This time there is NO band-aid. Time to heal the wound itself.

I just find it interesting the "timing" of things that happen. I can't help but feel that this is some sort of test.

I am thankful that I have my ammunition...Antabuse. It's really making me strong at a time I would have possibly faltered. I know making it through the next few days will only make me stronger.

:h

[KatieB]

Being Tested

K9Lover,

I'm in a similar predicament to you.. my son is with his father this weekend so I am also alone.. and my son's father is the problem, and often "trigger" for me to drink as he is often verbally abusive and hurtful towards me.. most of my therapy sessions are also centred around him and his abuse and torment..
You already know that drinking will not make anything better.. and it's good that you have posted this to get some support!
I try and keep myself as busy as possible if I don't have my son.. clean my flat, clear out any stuff I don't need anymore - these things take up a lot of time.. I also take time to pamper myself.. I am going to dye my hair this afternoon, shave my legs! (sorry if TMI!) and put on some lovely moisturisers etc.. have a nice bath.. anything to make yourself feel better and take your mind off the ex and drinking..
Also, listen to your fave music - music is not something I can play loud when I have my son, so I make the most of doing that and dancing around the living room! it's fun and therapeutic I find.. especially cheesy music such as ABBA - as my ex would never let me play that stuff when we were together, it always had to be hard-core rnb!
... and I am pleased you have antabuse to keep off the grog too..
Take care
Katie xx

[Doggygirl]

Being Tested

Sometimes the Universe is a strange place. I love your resolve to tackle these issues head on and sober. You can do it!!

DG

[greeneyes]

Being Tested

Ah... a fine example of law of attraction! Think sober experiences!

[the bellinator]

Being Tested

K9--Thinking of you! Hang in there. You can do it. Keep busy and keep posting. Isn't it funny when those ex's show up?!

[Lavande]

Being Tested

K9Lover & Katie -
you are both showing majors signs of growth & progress.
I'm very proud of both of you!
Hang in there, you will be OK this weekend

Lav

[K9Lover]

Being Tested

Thanks everyone for the support! I will do this, I CAN do it. I found that today I had a different reaction that what I would have experienced in the past. Normally hearing his voice would have sent me down that long road of depression, sadness and loniliness. I guess I am making progress after all! Also, I am grateful that I wont get drunk and end up drunk texting or calling him and waking up to guilt, shame and embarrassment tomorrow! Whew!

I think I'll take some at that advice from Katie....long hot bath (shave legs too...lol) then some nice clean jammies and curl up on the couch and watch hours of mindless television! Funny how Friday nights have changed for me (in a good way)!

Thanks again all...I'm definitely sticking close to my MWO friends this weekend!

K9

[Nemed]

Being Tested

Hi K9Lover.
You sound like you know what to do. Well done. You are strong and know you can do this.
Dealing with issues sober is so different to doing it drunk.
Good luck and stay close to us if you need.
x

[mama bear]

Being Tested

Isn't it funny how a man can do that to us? Why is that?
By the way, I love ABBA too and my son calls me Momma Mia!
I am happy you have the antabuse....and perhaps you are finally starting to get over him.
I am proud of you k9

[Guest]

Being Tested

K9,

Well Done! Hope you're soaking in the bath as I am typing.

Ex's creep up all the time but don't let him send you back to the bottle.

I'm so glad that you have identified the problem and decided how to deal with it, without grog!

Spam xx

[Guest]

Being Tested

Yep.

I had to do something a bit scary for me yesterday. When I was drinking I would have gotten through it only with the thought of the AL I would allow myself when it was over. I was actually frightened it might send me back but simply faced it a half-hour at a time without planning to drink. I also asked for help with the actual situation and learned a few things - instead of pretending I knew what to do.

Result was I got through the day, actually enjoying it and didn't want a drink at the end of it.

I've learned a lot and am sure you can do this too.

[papmom3]

Being Tested

Hi K-9,
How did the evening go? Were you able to get through the feelings without AL? I swear there is a great big web cam in the universe-it's the only explanation for how your X knew you were thinking of him after all this time LOL! Can you just imagine it? Things like this happen all the time and it's spooky!!
UKBLonde, so glad you got through your challange AF as well. I hope when I'm confronted with a scary challange I'll be able to channel the strength of you and everyone on this list to get through it.
Have a great day!! :l

[mario]

Being Tested

K9Lover;838364 wrote: Well today has been a crazy day. I am on day 15 AF. Some of you who have followed me may know that recently I have started talking to a therapist. Last Wednesday at my session we tackled a few of my "parent" issues, and I began telling him of my ex boyfriend. We made it a point to devot all next week's session to the ex boyfriend. Fine, we're starting to get somewhere now right? Wrong.

Today, out of the blue, after a year of no contact, dead silence....guess who decides to call me? Yep, none other than THE ex boyfriend.

Now let me set the stage. Today is the first night/weekend of my sobriety that I will be alone...my daughter is with her father. Was already going to be a tough weekend, a trigger.

Second, the person that has been plaguing my thoughts suddenly decides to call me out of the blue.

Perfect time to drink, to mask the feelings. Welll, NOT this time. I'm tired of covering up the wounds with a Beer Band Aid. This time there is NO band-aid. Time to heal the wound itself.

I just find it interesting the "timing" of things that happen. I can't help but feel that this is some sort of test.

I am thankful that I have my ammunition...Antabuse. It's really making me strong at a time I would have possibly faltered. I know making it through the next few days will only make me stronger.

:h

yes k9lover sometimes just out of the blue something/someone taps you on the shoulder and really does set you thinking.keep to your goals,keep to your plan,everything will work out for the better.

[fennel]

Being Tested

What a weird coincidence that your ex called you when he did! I hope you had a good night. You'll have a great success story to report to your therapist next week. :goodjob:

[mollyka]

Being Tested

K9 The jammies and the couch and the tele sound right good to me! Have a lovely lazy slovenly evening and I'll cyberjoin you on my couch. Just started watching Will Smith in '7 pounds', toffee popcorn on the way!
Molly:l