As some of you know, I had a date this morning.. at 11am.. I was so nervous I ended up drinking wine before and during.. I hate my nerves. they are my worse enemy.. i feel so insecure i dont know what else to do, i have no valium left (i used them all for the court case).. me and the man got on really well, though i think my speech was slurred at times. i am so scared of myself.. its obvious that my issues are far from resolved.. i picked up my son from my ex in the park; he said "you've been drinking today havent you?" - it was only 330pm.. i denied it.. but now i am so scared, he is going to try and get my son taken off me! i feel i am destined for a life of a spinster as i cannot date AF.. i get too nervous - my hands were visibly shaking and i couldnt think straight AF, i just didnt know what else to do..
... and i also had nothing to eat all day due to anxiety..
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