Help! I drank...

[KatieB]

Help! I drank...

Mama,
I know you are not (being ugly) - you are looking out for me.. i will have a look for calms forte in the shops.. yoga and meditation does not work for me in social things.. unless i practice it for 20 yrs then it might! my coffee-date fellow was lovely - we really hit it off, got on great and had a good laugh -we went for a walk on the harbour in front of the Opera House and Syd Harbour Bridge.. it was quite romantic and nice.. but I did not feel a "spark" and he admitted he lied about his age, he is nearly 40, whereas ive just turned 32.. not that it makes much difference, I will prob see him again and see how it goes, without Al next time (if i can sort myself out first! lol)
Katiexx

[mama bear]

Help! I drank...

you can get the calms forte here....the kudzu is calming,too....are you taking any of the other supplements?
I think you need tofocus on the fact that you had a nice date and you may see him again and we are all gonna work on the AL issue, you have a beautiful baby and your ex is a "plonker" that will say anything to push your buttons and freak you out.....and I am serious about the relaxtion CD....i am very skeptical about all that "voodoo" stuff....but I amazed that it is very calming......just a thought my friend...

[spuddleduck]

Help! I drank...

katieb, my fella is 20 years older than me. age is irrelevant, but lying about it is not good (only women are allowed to do that)

[mama bear]

Help! I drank...

LOL Spuddle

[KatieB]

Help! I drank...

LOL; spuddle!
I agree that age IS irrelevant.. being in a relationship and getting along etc amounts to more than just a number.. but the fact he lied about his age alarms me a bit.. but not much as he only lied by a couple of years. im still not sure if i am ready though.. he has called me once and texted me already in the past few hours since our date.. i really dont think he is right for me.. im going to lay low and put the internet dating aside for now and just concentrate on myself.. and my son of course

[Nemed]

Help! I drank...

Katie, Mama is right. ALOT has changed in you. Just think back to who you were two or three months ago and you will realise how much stronger you are now. We only see you on this site but even we can see a difference with you.
owever, twenty years of bullshit is not going to disappear overnight - or even in a month or a year. Be patient - you are on the right track. Just keep those baby steps, one at a time.....
Take care my friend. Be gentle with yourself.
xxxxxx

[Rusty]

Help! I drank...

Help, I drank

Hi Katie,

You have made marvelous strides here....you had many AF days....so good for you! As far as the guy lying about his age, you have every right to be alarmed. Dishonesty is not a good way to start any relationship whether it be romantic or friendship. If there is no spark there, then just don't pursue it....just take it as a compliment that someone wanted to meet you so badly that he lied about it to do it.

Abusive relationships with people and alcohol destroys our self-confidence. You are an amazing woman and you will find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.

Rusty

[Guest]

Help! I drank...

I've had many a relationship begin with the guy saying he's around such and such an age, then to find out 6 weeks later he's actually 5 years older.

[Lavande]

Help! I drank...

Love yourself first Katie
the rest will take care of itself........

Lav

[greeneyes]

Help! I drank...

ditto to lav.

[Anotherday]

Help! I drank...

Oh, Katie dear. You are not destined for a life of spinsterhood, but you may have to get the alcohol thing firmly under control along with the anxiety issues before going out on dates. Even though I do not go to AA, there is some value in their recommendation that one go one year AF before dating. It's sooooooo easy to get nervous on a date and drink. I can so relate. I have all but given up on that aspect of life and know I have to get me under control first and foremost.

As to your ex, I don't know what to say. I can only hope he thinks it's a one time thing and doesn't make an issue of it. I don't know him, however. Hang in there and just do your best one day at a time, ok? :l

AD

[KateH1]

Help! I drank...

Katie,
What's the hurry with getting in to another relationship? Take your time, pull your own life together first and take care of your son. There is some wisdom in AA about not entering into a relationship until you have completed one year of sobriety. I really encourage you to read the book "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. This is a very inspiring book that truly helped me to begin to think in new and much more clear ways!

As for the incident with your ex. I know from what I have read here that there is a lot of bad blood between the two of you, but, I think his concern for handing your son to you, knowing that you had been drinking is a fair issue. I would not hand over a child to anyone that I knew had been drinking, period! This is not a personal "judgement", it is an issue of safety and well being for a child.

I wish you much encouragement in continuing your work with your therapist. I also encourage you to work on your issues with drinking. Drinking is not a true solution to dealing with anxiety, depression and personal issues. It simply does not work!

Best Wishes,
Kate

[K9Lover]

Help! I drank...

Hi Katie,
I agree with the others who have said there is no need to rush into a relationship. I am 37 and have been single for 4 years. Yes, sometimes it gets lonely, but I have accepted that once I get myself right, other things will fall into place. Focus on you and your son, then when the right guy does come along, you will be ready, and he will see you for who you really are!
Much love,
K9

[eight days a week]

Help! I drank...

Hi Katie,

I'm really sorry to hear that things went badly...but it's just one day!!

I meant to write to in reply to you before when I read somewhere on here that you were thinking of internet dating. I've had the mother of all experiences with that...it turned into something like Psycho...not something most people in the world could handle, let alone us who are trying to recover. I know you're lonely my friend, but I really, honestly, don't think that's the way to go right now. The fact that this guy lied about his age throws up huge warning signs for me, and I think you should stay well clear.

Just focus on yourself, your darling son, and getting better, and everything else will fall into place when it's meant to. Promise

[KatieB]

Help! I drank...

Thank you all for your kind words and support,
My ex didn't mention AL again since.. in fact he wants us to both take our son somewhere for his birthday in 3 weeks.. but I know I still need to avoid AL, as I cannot give him any ammunition in which he could use against me in the future..
I am going to give the whole dating thing a miss for now.. I am not in a rush at all; I just thought it may help with my loneliness, but having another man in my life is not what I want right now.. I know I have lots of work to do on myself first..
I am seeing my counsellor weekly, maybe in a few months I will be feeling much different about myself..
I am not going to see that other guy again.. I sent him a text saying I wasn't ready to date..
I have too much on my plate, I know that.. I have to concentrate on my therapy and my son.. once things have settled down then I may try again.. I know there is no rush..
Kate - I have read that book by Louise Hay, I own it actually.. it is a good book..
Thank you all again.. i have come a long way, but I still have a way to go in my journey.. I was not drunk yesterday and I was fine with looking after my son.. but I still feel much happier in myself when I don't drink or feel the need to drink.. I know I need to avoid situations that may cause me to want to drink.. I am going to go to the playgroup this week, and hopefully I will meet some new friends there..
Katie xxx