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[Montana Mommy]

Hi everyone,
I am a 32 yr old woman with 2 children and a great husband. I have been trying to quit for about 2 and a half years now. I don't have cravings anymore, I seem to just run to AL. It is so frustrating. Why do I do this? I hate AL!!! I don't like myself when I drink, but I keep doing it. Every 2-3 days I somehow find enough money to go to the store for a 12 pack. Even if we're broke I find enough to go to the store. I'm completely baffled why I think its a good idea at the time. I know the person I need to be, and I am not that person yet. I know how great it is to be sober and I still choose to drink. I am so frustrated with myself. My husband can't stand when I drink. He says that is not who he fell in love with. I want to stop before I destroy my home life.

[LVT25]

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Welcome back. I'm glad you decided to give mwo another try. You know you have tons of support here.

[Butterflybe]

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I can completely identify with what you say; sure this is the right place to be though to get the support to become AF and ultimately keep the family/home life together.
I first joined this site over 2 years ago; needless to say it and my attempts to become AF went by the wayside and having recognised recently that my drinking problem is worse than ever, I came back yesterday. Managed an AF day yesterday (wow!) and really want to try for Day 2 now!
ButterflyBe

[Guest]

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You will always find the money because you are addicted. That's it simply and addiction does not respond to logic at all.

I spent years running to AL not every day but maybe 2-3 times a week until it blurred into longer bouts.

You are in the right place.

[KatieB]

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Hi,
I'm a 32 yo woman also, mother of a 2yo little boy - I know exactly what you mean.. I dont know why I turn to AL either - it does nothing for me! Coming on here does help.. I have cut down a great deal.. I want to quit for good though.. I dont want a big question mark hanging over my future if I drink as I have stuffed up so many times! No-one knows what the future holds, but at least without AL you have more control over your life! Welcome back.. we can all help each other in this journey,
Katie xx

[Stargazerlily]

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Welcome back Montana Mommy. Sounds like you have made some progress but are not quite there yet. Keep on reading and posting and remember this is a journey. We think we have it beat (at least I have numerous times) and then realize that we have to be ever on our guard, using our plan and asking for support.

We are here for you. ODAT if need be. Sending you strength and hope.

[hillsidetime]

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Hi Montana Mommy, and welcome back. Your words ring very familiar for me. I am 36 year old father and husband. I have experienced very similar things to you it seems. I finally pushed it to within a feather of losing my kids and wife and who knows what else. With the help of the awesome people on this site I have been able to quit. It sounds like you are ready, and you know it is time. You can do it. Read and write lots here. Good luck,
Hill

[nomore]

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Hi Hillsidetime,iam 43 yr old father of 2 still married just realise that this is last chance 4 my marriage so am hopefully af after 2day shall try again.Been member 4 while but havent really got involved till now.

[Montana Mommy]

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Thank you everybody for the support. Today is day 2 for me. I'm gonna spend half an hour reading the posts here. I get soo frustrated with the whole drinking thing. I love me when Im sober. Im more fun and outgoing sober. I actually have to make myself go buy AL. It's beyond my comprehension why this is so hard, but I know it is do-able. I'm tired of wasting my evenings, and the terrible mornings that follow.

[FallonsMom]

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I'm married, 30 with 2 year old believe me I know how you feel

[clare]

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Keep reading montana mommy, its amazing the motivation & help you can get from that,i have cut back dramatically since i came here,great folks here

[IAD]

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Montana Mama ! Welcome Back....love them Montana ladies ! Ha! Come on back and let's talk and play some tunes. Glad your back......IAD

[girly wirly]

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mont

i am in the same boat. 32, married, 2 beautiful children and have pushed my luck way too far. it's my second day too. love and strength coming your way xxx

gw x:l

[NickNat]

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Welcome, Mont...

I was where you and girly wirly were over 20 years ago. Then, it was just a 12 pack every few days.
When I look back at 'bad' circumstances in my life and 'great' ones...one constant was always there...alcohol. For me, I'm an alcoholic and that's why I drink...nothing else to figure out but the solution to get the alcohol stopped. I'm using all the resources available to me and thanks to this
forum I'm on Day 3...OMAT, OHAT, ODAT.

[Quit Quitting]

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I am older - in fact I am a Grand-mother but still relate to what has been said here. Why do we do it when we don't want to and why do we keep on drinking when we are not enjoying it. Like UKBlonde said 'It is an addiction'

We can do this it just may take a little time for our bodies to get used to the idea of living with out AL. Well done on day 2 - I struggle on day 5 now. This site is a great help to me - just sitting here reading and knowing I am with people who understand.

Keep going.