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[gertrude mcfuzz]

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I had a similar incident a couple of weeks ago. Shocked me into action. Nearly all my friends are my friends because we all drink or drank together. That has to change, too much to lose now. I am 8 days AF and very optimistic about the future, bad habits and toxic friends are going to be a thing of the past.

I heard on here, its not a drinking problem its a thinking problem.

[JACQRABBIT]

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Hi Mike,

I thought that Drinking made me who I am,
It gave me confidence, turned me into the party girl that everybody liked to be around.

It came as a massive shock to me when my husband told me different, he told me that it made me cheap and slutty and not a turn on at all.
He also reminded me that he loved me because I am fun to be around but also that I am of high intelligence and that was sexier that a slurry idiot rubbing up against him that passed out cold the second my head hit the pillow.

I was also guilty of saying hurtful things to him while drunk that I would never say sober.

I looked for MYO because I knew that my marriage was going to fail if I didn't.

I guess where I'm trying to go with this is that when I looked at the bigger picture I wanted to see myself in the future with the man I love and not hugging a bottle of wine.

Jacqrabbit

[godknowsImtrying]

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Isn't it strange how things change?

I had the most potent "blackout" this last weekend on not so much--or so I thought. It made me realize that I've got to go AF. I've messed up so much by drinking.

Whatever happens with your relationship, still realize where you are and what you have to do to be where you want to be. My wish for you is that you can work it out. Please, don't give up.

Your story reminded me of a very serious past mistake.

Best,
D

[KatieB]

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Mike I hear you,

People annoy the crap out of me most the time too! I used to think the only way to deal with life and ppl was to drink.. but it does not work! Drinking just makes you more depressed, and you end up hating yourself, and other ppl more.. What Hazeleyes says is true.. often it isn't about other people.. its our attitude and how we view the world.. I am learning to be kinder to myself, and thus end up more compassionate to others.. compassion has to start from within.. drinking does not "cure" anything nor make anything better.. its a downwards spiral to deep depression.. keep coming on here and read and post, we are here for you!
Katie

[Stargazerlily]

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I believe Mike when he says he had two drinks and blacked out....his alcoholism has progressed to the point where his liver is messed up....hence two drinks=blackout. This is a scary thing.

Mike, I am sure that the real sober you is a person worth knowing, while the drunk you is well, drunk. It does take hard work to quit and remake your life. Wishing you a time of being alcohol free to think this out and sending you hope.

[spuddleduck]

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jaq.. that is me to a tee.
mike.. avoid people who piss you off and concentrate on the ones you care about.. including yourself. blacking out is crap and if you are blacking out after a couple thats not a good place to be. who knows how you are behaving. dealing with people is scary, it takes time to find who we are and who we want to deal with.

[Reenie]

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It's true the alcoholism is a disease and it's likely you have it. However, you are MORE than your disease. There is a TRUE Michael in there. Get rid of the alcohol. Dig deep and find YOURSELF. It can be painful. But the pain is worth it. When you find yourself, you will identify the triggers that lead you to drink. Learn to cope with these triggers. Surround yourself with support whether it be MWO, AA or a Sober support group. You can do it.

[hazeleyes]

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Thanks Reenie and Sheri, I know you were speaking to Mike but your straight shooting comments help me as well
H