Finding help by admitting where I am and here

[godknowsImtrying]

I have to say that since coming to this place, the optimism is back...the kind of optimism that makes me know I want to be AF because that's what makes me really happy. I kept saying, "What happened to me?" Duh.

I fell down in a blackout on Sunday and hurt my foot. What a dumb move. But it's just bruised and will be ok with rest.

One great thing I would like to share is that listening to all of you has made me own up to and admit my problem to my family...and the support has been incredible. I guess I was a way better faker/isolator than I thought.

When I started to ask for help in small ways over the past few days, it was there. While I know that many here really are alone in this, it was a real epiphany to realize that although I thought I had to "go it alone," it wasn't that way. So I'd love to be the support for those who really do have to go it alone...because support is key.

Sure, I'm as embarrassed as anyone else to say, "Yes, I have a drinking problem." Especially to my family because I'm the "successful one." NOT. Well, maybe.

I've finally allowed family members to keep my daughter entertained for a few hours after school, deliver some food to keep me well because the thought of going to the store or cooking right now is...ouch. :h Please, keep me from the Walmart

One more day of resting and allowing in-house detox. Then, tomorrow, I'll get it together. I vow to go to the grocery store...maybe even stop at the Japanese place and get some noodle soup with my daughter.

One thing I have to say it that being honest with my daughter has made all the difference after what she saw on Sunday. Imagine your mother passed out on the floor! I've had to tell her about how my own mother was an alcoholic, and how I'm not going to go down that path. My progress in AL has been so new that I could keep it a secret. No more. I want my daughter to know what is happening so it WON'T happen to her...or her children.

The good news is that I'm looking like myself again, even though it's only been a few days and I'm tapering with long periods of no AL. I've done this before, but not without a real PLAN to getting it over with for good. Shower, makeup, hair. At least I'm not afraid to answer the door.

I know many say that people KNOW even if you think they don't, but I was really good. Really good at hiding my problem. Until I blacked out this weekend and didn't pull myself together before anyone could find out.

My thinking is getting clear.

I have to send the many thanks to everyone who has encouraged me here and sent me a PM.

:thanks:

D

[Quit Quitting]

Finding help by admitting where I am and here

Well done you

Reading your post bought tears to my eyes. Lots of us have failed to resist the pull and many of us still do. Together we are a team and can help each outher fight our own individual battles with AL.

Wishing you all the very best in your AF life.

QQ

[Stargazerlily]

Finding help by admitting where I am and here

GNIT, good to hear you are being honest and open about your problem and asking for help. I too have shared with my husband and some with a friend and one of my kids. They are very supportive and it makes all the difference. Addiction issues are genetic and go on for generations. I know I am third generation and my kids are fourth generation. But we can stop the cycle and live AF lives....and it is so worth it.

Sending you strength and hope.

[hillsidetime]

Finding help by admitting where I am and here

GNIT, your posting was so honest and clear in its focos. I am really glad that you have figured out where you need to go. I am certain your family and daughter will really love to have the sober you around. Keep up the great work, one day at a time. The urges will come but you can ride them out. Best of luck,
Hill

[K9Lover]

Finding help by admitting where I am and here

GNIT,
Your post really moved me. I too have shared with my daughter that I am not drinking anymore. She sees my calendar with all my stickers on it, one for each day that I've made it sober. On my past quits I never was honest with her, because I didn't want to see that look of disappointment or questioning on her face when I ended up pulling into the parking lot of a liquor store. She's also getting to an age where she might be faced with pressure to drink or do drugs, so I want her to see the reality of where that road leads. A few weeks ago she asked me "If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?" and I told her "I never would have started drinking, it's so much easier to not start, than it is to quit". She's only 12 so I still try to protect her, but even at her age, she can see it for what it is.
Good luck on your progress, and hang in there, it really DOES get easier with time. Give your beautiful daughter a hug and be grateful for the positive things you have in your life. You can beat this monster, and we are here to help support you along the way.
:h
K9

[fennel]

Finding help by admitting where I am and here

Good for you for telling somebody...what a gift to have that support!

[girly wirly]

Finding help by admitting where I am and here

great post GKIT

you sound so motivated almost like a weight has been lifted from you from your last few posts.

i have found such strength in this place these past 4 days too xx

go for it girl, along with the rest of us xxx

much love xx:l