i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

[girly wirly]

i had three cans of lager and a bottle and a half of rose wine.

i feel ill! and i'm still drunk too. didn't even make it up to bed, i slept on the sofa.

i knew from the moment i got up yesterday morning that it was on the cards. now i have to waste a full day recovering. worst thing is, i KNOW as sure as eggs are eggs i'll do the same thing tonight.

why can't i just be normal? so angry at myself.

sorry for letting you all down

[Quit Quitting]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

Hi GW

Do not beat yourself up over this. We all find our own way of getting round this ADDICTION. You got up thinking you will drink and you did. 'I think therefore I will'. I read someplace that once we have made up our mind to do something - be it a dieter eating a bar of chocolate or people like us having a drink - we can fight it but the odds are stacked against us and we will do it.

You do not need a drink today and you do not have to have it the choice is yours and no one else. You make that decision to pour that liquid down your throat.

Heres hoping tomorrow you post that you did not. Stick around here.

All the best

QQ xx

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

i knew from the moment i got up yesterday morning that it was on the cards. now i have to waste a full day recovering. worst thing is, i KNOW as sure as eggs are eggs i'll do the same thing tonight.

Girly we all have a choice to make every hour of ever day. You came here because you know there is a problem and you want to change your life. Everyone of us knows how hard it can be and at times it seems inevitable that we will pick up that glass but it doesnt have to be so. On day four you felt the cravings and you came and posted and read and got through it. That is what you need to do and you can do it, as many people here bear testament to. Ask yourself what is the alternative?
Come on yesterday is gone, nothing you can do about it but today is a new day. Take your life back. There is lots of support here.
Keep safe
KTAB

[JackieClaire]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

GW,

'Why can't I be normal'

You can't be normal, neither can I and all the members of this site.

Like you there were times that as soon as I opened my eyes I knew that today was going to drink. Not just a couple, but completely hammered. That was my choice and my choice alone.

Today I choose not to drink and again that is my choice.

Read back on your previous posts remember how great and proud of yourself you felt.

J x
:l

[stirly-girly]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

girly wirly;842243 wrote: i had three cans of lager and a bottle and a half of rose wine.

i feel ill! and i'm still drunk too. didn't even make it up to bed, i slept on the sofa.

i knew from the moment i got up yesterday morning that it was on the cards. now i have to waste a full day recovering. worst thing is, i KNOW as sure as eggs are eggs i'll do the same thing tonight.

why can't i just be normal? so angry at myself.

sorry for letting you all down

G-wirly,
You didn't let us down. No need to apologize.
But why let yourself think that today has to be the same as yesterday and as many days before that. There was a quote a while back that said this......"nothing changes if nothing changes".... So in order to get out of that endless circle, you gotta make some changes. Maybe taking a good look at why you opened that first can of beer yesterday and what was the outcome would help - couldn't stop and ended up drunk, feel like crap, beating yourself up... the list goes on. (Been there, done it countless times...)Then try and make a positive lesson out of it instead of coming down so hard on yourself. Why can't you be normal? Because you and the rest of us have a problem. So we have to take special steps, big and small to face and beat this problem. Tough, but it can be done.
Hope you can manage to give AL the boot tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling better than you did this morning.
We're all here with hands held out to help you, you just have to reach out your hand and take hold...
Stirly:l

[koki]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

Girly!
I wouldnt have made it through day 1 if you hadnt responded to my newbie post. I'm now on day three and I wanna be here for you. I still need your support please Stay sober with me ...just for today atleast!

[spuddleduck]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

girly, today is another day. learn from yesterday and leave it behind. why are you going to drink today. think about it seriously, WHY. you will feel crap again tomorow. you must want this, thats why youre here and come back after a slip. so really analyze WHY you are going to drink today. why not plan
NOT TO DRINK and see how that goes

[girly wirly]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

spuddleduck;842325 wrote: girly, today is another day. learn from yesterday and leave it behind. why are you going to drink today. think about it seriously, WHY. you will feel crap again tomorow. you must want this, thats why youre here and come back after a slip. so really analyze WHY you are going to drink today. why not plan
NOT TO DRINK and see how that goes

spuds i'm in exactly the same mindset i was in yesterday, as well as still being half drunk.

why am i going to drink today? well,the only answer to that question is because i want to.

stupid, i know. but i also know that on sunday one drop won't pass my lips.

koki, that post means alot to me, to know i helped you on your way, but remember, you did the hard work
:l

why the hell can't i take my own advice?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

Oh Girly I played that game with myself in the past many times.
Normally it ended up in a three or four day session. After which I felt so ill and disgusted with myself that I stopped for maybe 1-2 days then it was back to sipping away at it every day. Then one day after a 3 day binge I decided this is madness and I am so unhappy, it has to stop. I came here and my life has changed. It is your choice if you want to keep drinking but I have seen the change in you after even a few days sober and I bet you have too.

[mario]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

Girly as ktab has said you yourself has to change your thinking, Similarly, how you respond to your alcohol consumption has an impact on how you feel about yourself. If you drink more than you intended one night, you might judge yourself for it, saying something like “you’re such a loser, you got drunk again”. The consequences of such a thought are probably feelings of hopelessness and low self esteem. Contrast that with a different reaction to getting drunk, like “I wish I hadn’t done that again, I really need to work out what’s going wrong” – there’s no judgement or self-criticism in that, and you’re more likely to feel hope that you can change.
And before you reject this idea, saying “but that’s just how I am”, these self-statements are not a fixed part of your personality, they are just habitual, so they can be changed.

so come on girly change from negative thinking to positive thinking..it will help

[Guitarista]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

Hi Girly Wirly,
While you are here and drinking, can you come up with another plan, and maybe a date to stop? I only suggest this approach, as it worked for me. I was feeling crap, and drinking, and knew i wasn't going to stop anytime real soon, but i knew that ultimately i wanted to. I slowly got a better plan together from reading here, and when i was ready, i set a day, got all my af supplies, and things to do plan ready, and finally went for it. I was fairly well prepared for day 1. Just try not to leave it too long, and do too much damage to yourself.
Great to see you here. Drink water, and best wishes. The 'Toolbox' thread in monthly abstinence section is a lifesaver, i reckon.

[Doggygirl]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

girly wirly;842243 wrote: why can't i just be normal?

Girly, I struggled more with sobriety than I do today before I accepted that I CANNOT DRINK NORMALLY, EVER. I've tried it thousands of times, and I can't do it. My husband is a normal drinker. He has ONE beer, maybe two, and the vast majority of the time zero. He probably drinks 12 beers a year. He doesn't obsess about beer and doesn't have to work at NOT drinking beer. More than one makes him feel a bit ill. Alcohol is toxic to our bodies, so that is actually NORMAL.

I have never drank "one" drink, nor do I want to. If I have a desire, it is to get buzzed. Really buzzed. That is not NORMAL.

Wishing to be normal and thinking that somehow it will magically happen is part of the stinkin' thinkin' that keeps us wrapped up in our addiction.

Accepting the truth about this was an important step for me on the road to sober living.

Dust yourself off and revisit your plan!

PS - you do not let anyone down but yourself when you drink. We are here to support each other, but we are each responsible for our own sobriety.

DG

[greeneyes]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

I can't say more than DG and sheri have. It is doable. Acccepting that you cannot drink goes a long way in changing your expectations. Dig in and do it!!

[papmom3]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

Hi Girly,
I can only pretty much echo what everyone else has said but I just want you to know that I was asking myself the same question when I first stopped drinking. Why can't I be "normal" and handle AL like "normal" people? Well, it's looking like for me "normal" is NOT putting AL in my body. I am convinced (after what happened Tues nite) that I am highly allergic to AL and can never have it in my body again. Like Sheri said, that first sip turns some kind of switch on and only passing out turns it off again. But in addition to that, I also have physical signs of an allergy that I don't really want to experience again. It's bad enough I have spring and fall allergies, pet allergies, mold allergies etc. I don't need to expose myself to another allergen that unlike the other allergens is pretty much under my control (ok, i admit, I chose to have pets knowing I was allergic but the benefit for me outweighs the the bad). There is no benefit I can see to pouring wine down my throat anymore. it only numbs the bad feelings for a few hours and as I found out last nite, I can weather those bad feelings without AL and I won't die. It's not pleasant and I pretty much took to my bed as soon as I got home and curled up into a little ball but I got through it.
So as you suffer through the hangover today, why don't you try changing your mindset from "I'll know I'll do it all over again tonite" (why? just because it's Saturday nite?) to "I choose not to put this poison in my body tonite and I will do X,Y or Z instead during the time I would normally be drinking". It's your choice and as everyone has already said, it's only you that you're letting down. And after all, You are the most important person in the world!!

[BUDDY BLACK]

i didn't make it, but i knew i wouldn't.

HEY GW, NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! JUST START A NEW DAY, WISHING YOU AN AF DAY TODAY,HANG IN THERE ITS A BEAST WE FIGHT!