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    #1

    New Here.

    Hi all,
    New Irishman here. Stumbled (bad choice of words??) across this site. Have been a weekend party animal since I was 18. Woke up on my 35th B/day recently and realised I am still doing the same things as when I was 18 while most of my friends have settled and married. I'm still chasing girls 10 years my junior - sad I know. Most people cannot believe that I am 35 I think its a compliment in one way but in another it reflects my immaturity from a socialising perspective. I have a great job, own home etc but have never been able to settle which I would love to do. Right now I am sick of my weekend boozing lifestyle and would love to seek out an alternate lifestyle. I have always been the one to want the party to go on forever and weekends are often 3 day sessions. I can honestly say I've never craved drink physically and I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic but do know i am certainly a high risk of slipping further down that slope and I want to stop that slippage now.
    A real concern of mine is that if quit drinking will i become a social misfit and spend the rest of my nights at home alone. I am plenty busy at work and go to the gym 3 - 4 nights a week but when the weekend comes round the lure of pubs/clubs/parties is something I struggle to resist. I suppose I'm looking for some support through this forum and some shared experience that can help me make the right choices.
    Thanks
    Tags: None
    #2
    New Here.

    Hi Ian and Welcome!
    You have found a great place here for support, whether you are looking to moderate your alcohol intake, or be completely alcohol free. You will find the people here are in many different stages of quitting, or moderating. I am fairly new to this, so I won't offer up too many words of advice, other than read, read, read the post here and post as often as you'd like. There will be someone along soon that will be able to steer you in the right direction. Keep us posted so we know how you're doing!
    Again, welcome!!!
    K9
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment

      #3
      New Here.

      Hi there Ian, :welcome:

      I see some similarities with your story and mine.. though I am female.. I am 32 but often get mistaken for a young 20 yo.. I still get asked for ID (though won't anymore as i'm not drinking or smoking! - though only just restarted my journey again..).
      I was also a total party-animal.. my problem was always binge-drinking.. I don't depend on AL, but when I drink I tend to binge and go nuts.. though since having my son (who's now 2) I calmed down a fair bit.. though still couldn't get my binging out of my system.. though I have found this site so I am ready to change.. as you seem to be too!
      This site is fantastic, lots of ppl here will be able to help you enjoy your life without AL and without seeming a social "misfit".. there are so many activities you could enjoy without AL.. though sometimes that means making drastic choices, like losing some friends.. as you will discover if you give up AL, some ppl are supportive, others aren't and would want you to keep drinking.. thats a decision only you can make.. I am trying to find an alternate lifestyle for myself too.. and just starting to make new friends that don't drink, as I dont want to be tempted either.. I am tired of AL and what it does to me mentally and physically.. i hope all this makes sense!
      Katie x
      "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

      :groupluv:

      Comment

        #4
        New Here.

        Thanks for the replies.
        KatieB your last bit makes perfect sense. My current relationship with alcohol impacts very important things:
        My physical health, peace of mind, self-respect, financial health. Despite this a tug of war still goes on in my head with part of me still justfying alcohol consumption. This is the whole social lubricant/crutch aspect of it which makes me afraid to let go as their is a degree of unacceptance or suspicion of non-drinkers in Ireland.

        Comment

          #5
          New Here.

          Hi Ian:goodjob:
          I'm very new here too. It sounds like you've taken some time for some honest self reflection. That is always a good thing! I don't have any physical cravings for alcohol either, but some very strong psychological ones at times. Drowning sorrows mostly and some party hardy times over the years. There are a number of people taking a 30 day challenge here. some veterans and some newcomers. Maybe you would like to give that a go to give yourself some further introspection time? All the best to you on your quest! ps love the Rankins!

          Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


          St. Francis of Assisi

          Comment

            #6
            New Here.

            Welcome Ian
            Only you know if you are addicted..but try our 30 day challenge and see how it goes.....I am not single anymore and I know drinking is a big part of the single thing....but we are here for you in any way you need us!!!
            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
            Live in the Solution....not the problem

            Comment

              #7
              New Here.

              Welcome Ian! This world is absolutely LOADED with interesting things to do besides drink. Here is a cool web site! 45 Hobbies for Men | The Art of Manliness

              (ladies, scroll down to the "Collecting" hobby and see one picture of something interesting being collected!! :egad: :H)

              Good for you getting this behind you now. It just gets worse if you ignore the problem.

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

              One day at a time.

              Comment

                #8
                New Here.

                Welcome Ian! This is a fantastic place with many people who have walked or who are walking in your shoes.

                Do you have a plan? Do you want to be AF or do you want to moderate?

                Keep logged in and read, post, and repeat!

                My best to you on your journey! :welcome:
                :h getting better every day

                Comment

                  #9
                  New Here.

                  Welcome to MWO Ian! I can really relate to the concerns about not being able to participate socially if not drinking...but let me tell you...it is an absolute MYTH. You can have just as much fun, feel good the next day and remember every single thing that happened. The biggest challenge is to not think you are denying yourself anything, but making a choice not to get plastered and try to dig out memories from the night before in the morning! Make a plan and try the toolbox to get you going...Good Luck!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    New Here.

                    WELCOME IAN, IM NEW AT THIS ALSO, 16 DAYS AF FREE, I CAN RELATE TO YOUR SOCIAL LIFE DILEMMA. ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION,IF YOUR NOT DRINKING WOULD THEY STILL BE HANGING WITH YOU?? YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WILL LIKE WETHER YOU DRINK OR DONT. THE PEOPLE HERE AT MWO HAVE HELPED ME BEYOND WHAT WORDS CAN SAY! STAY IN TOUCH AND BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR JOURNEY.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      New Here.

                      :welcome:Ian, You've come to a good place to help you find answers and maybe just to learn more about yourself.

                      Anytime I've questioned my relationship with alcohol over the years, for me it was because I was becoming concerned with my physical and mental health and how alcohol was impacting both.

                      The social aspects are difficult and something to struggle with and figure out but maybe that's more a true picture of who are real friends are. Do we need the whole bar to love us or would some truly honest accepting friendships give us a more clear picture of who we really are?

                      Keep posting, keep reading and again, you've come to a great place, pretty new at this too!
                      AF since April 19, 2010
                      NF since Nov 10, 2000

                      "One reason I don't drink is I want to know when I'm having a good time."
                      -Lady Nancy Astor

                      Comment

                        #12
                        New Here.

                        Hi Ian and welcome. I can really understand your pattern of drinking, and the fear that you feel about this overwhelming idea of going sober. Like you I was a weekend warrier for 20 years, and would drink alone on nights with no party, to keep up my habit. The weekend starts on Wednesday or Thursday. Over time as we age, drinking does start to effect the rest of the week. Mental and physical health for sure are hurt by drinking that much. Ability to function at work is decreased - because our bodies ability to metabolise alcohol decreases as we age, and we are tired more as we age, and our brain is getting quite pickled. The list goes on.

                        You may not get physiological side effects if you go af, I would expect at least headaches and grumpiness, but perhaps not. I hope you suffer no withdrawal.

                        Your fear of social isolation is very valid. Things will change if you go sober. One of the things I have found, is that, I don't have the same desire to go to some of the places I used to - to get sloshed - because there are other things I want to to (because I am sober). Some events I go to sober, and still have fun - AND - I get up early the next day feeling great. If you really want to settle down etc, examining yourself, and getting happy and healthy is a great first step. All the best,
                        Hill
                        Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          New Here.

                          Ian

                          I'm single, 35, no children, never been married and yes my drinking was mostly partying - well until between 30 and 35 when it really took over and I could no longer drink socially. Yep drinking turned me into the person no-one wanted to party with. Being from England where binge drinking is encouraged and the Pub is the Hub I can understand your worry. I actually get narked occasionally that society here holds AL so central and it's just all over the place. Despite this there are plenty of other people who chose not to drink and it is your choice.

                          Since I've stopped drinking I now have a social life and ten times better than before. Ok I'm not going on mad pub crawls but then again they were never meaningful times - wandering around pissed with other people who were also pissed. You aren't going to get much quality time there are you?Think about it. All the people I partied with just talked the same rubbish, never did anything apart from drink and work.

                          Since being AF I've started to rebuild family relationships, a good friendship with someone who doesn't like drinking anyway(but still goes out occasionally, shock horror!), have been to a couple of gigs and even to a festival I was interested in. Ok these events were not your typical 'getting wasted' weekend type things with the emphasise on the music/culture. Tell you what they were better than a weekend off my trolley......I'm also training at the gym again and that's also a 'social' thing too.

                          I think you will find the quality of your life improves if you stay AF. Might be a bit lonely at first but it soon sorts itself out. Oh and girls really don't like being chased by men stinking of booze.

                          ps guess what?I've even danced on Camomile tea - takes a bit of getting used to but it is possible.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            New Here.

                            Hiya Ian

                            I'm new here too, its a great site....just keep popping in and catching up on whats going on...there's tons of helpful people and tons of experience here...

                            :welcome: LB
                            I want to live life sober....not die a drunk

                            Comment

                              #15
                              New Here.

                              Thanks everyone.As a start I'm going to give 30 days a start as my first goal. I will log on everyday.

                              Comment

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