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    #46
    Ready for a way out

    Hi Margret,

    Good for you on the AF time!! In my cast stopping drinking was such a personal one. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to question me about it or worse think I couldn't do it. It took me a little while to tell people when I was ready. I have to say though, it has been helpful to find my support network of my mom, sister, and boyfriend. Non of them ever nagged me about my drinking or told me to stop. I decided on my own. But now that I've stopped drinking they all are very happy and proud of me. It also keeps me sober because their happiness is important to me. That support feels really good and I don't know what I'd do without it.

    I have to say though, it did take weeks AF for my boyfriend to really take me serious. And we did get in a few tiffs about some social situations that I couldn't go to... At the end of the day those disagreements were nothing compared to the drunken, confusing haze of nasty talk we would get into... and the regrets and sorrys the next day- with splitting heads. Good luck Margaret, your doing a great job!! Have you started a plan? A plan really helped me stay on track.

    Take care,
    Choice

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      #47
      Ready for a way out

      Thanks for responding. I keep hearing about having a plan but I don't really know where to start with that. I am just trying to make it day by day. What kind of plan do you mean?
      ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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        #48
        Ready for a way out

        here you go Margaret!
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...lan-41280.html
        Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

        Harriet Beecher Stowe

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          #49
          Ready for a way out

          Hi Margaret,

          I can relate to many things that you have posted. Especially about husbands being enablers. This time though I think mine is getting it and is supporting me. Once they see how happy we are without AL they accept how rotten it makes us feel even if they don't go through the shame afterwards.

          One glass, ha that was one of my last "tests" I bought a regular 750ml bottle of wine and thought I would drink it over two days - two glasses each day - well 2 hours later it was gone and I was on to the beer. Failed that test....sobriety is the best isn't is wonderful to have a clear head.
          Welcome and keep coming back

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            #50
            Ready for a way out

            Thank you for being so open and honest about how your tests didn't work out so well. I have a few "tempting" days coming, a 40th bday for a friend and a trip to see my alcoholic parents. I will keep your experiences strong in my mind, that I will only have regret the next day if I decide to drink.

            Made it to Day 7! Baby steps!!!
            ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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              #51
              Ready for a way out

              Hi Margaret and everyone else! I'm at 6 days and really nervous about this upcoming weekend. the support here is great! I keep hanging on to the words that it gets easier. I anticipate hopeing this weekend goes by fast, that's a first! But, if all goes well, I'm sure Monday morning will be my "gift".
              I laugh about not being able to have just one drink, I can soo relate! Chardonnay is my weakness. I have a wedding coming up Oct 23rd and plan on going AF. This will be my first wedding that I plan on not getting hammered!! Start off such the lady and end up looking like a piece of trash!!

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                #52
                Ready for a way out

                Just keep visiting MWO during the weekend. There is so much strength to be drawn from here. I also am nervous about the "big" events. Weddings and such where people will probably ask if I want a glass of wine. I am nervous about saying no. lol So stupid to feel that way, I know, but I have that in the back of my mind.
                ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                  #53
                  Ready for a way out

                  sobergirl;970885 wrote: Hi Margaret and everyone else! I'm at 6 days and really nervous about this upcoming weekend. the support here is great! I keep hanging on to the words that it gets easier. I anticipate hopeing this weekend goes by fast, that's a first! But, if all goes well, I'm sure Monday morning will be my "gift".
                  I laugh about not being able to have just one drink, I can soo relate! Chardonnay is my weakness. I have a wedding coming up Oct 23rd and plan on going AF. This will be my first wedding that I plan on not getting hammered!! Start off such the lady and end up looking like a piece of trash!!
                  Sorry Sobergirl, I just had a laugh at your last comment! I can so relate to the not so glamorous morph from lady to tramp/trash....oh the shame when you get a look at the photos later on. This is the weekend coming up and you are worried about it....try and look at it as just another day....its all preception. Plan to keep busy, distracted. Plan something nice to do for yourself...it could be as simple as having more time in the bath with calming music playing, or going to the cinema. Anything at all as long as it is written down and followed. you can do this....SIX DAYS IS AWESOME......stay on these boards and soak up the strength and wisdom to help you......slay the dragon x
                  I am a part of the family of humanity. Not one person on this earth is a stranger to me. Rev. Ted Noffs

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                    #54
                    Ready for a way out

                    Margaret345;970895 wrote: Just keep visiting MWO during the weekend. There is so much strength to be drawn from here. I also am nervous about the "big" events. Weddings and such where people will probably ask if I want a glass of wine. I am nervous about saying no. lol So stupid to feel that way, I know, but I have that in the back of my mind.
                    Margaret, like you I was unsure about saying no to a drink at 'big events'. In the early days I simply said that I had a health problem and I could not drink. That actually is the truth of it...we do have a health problem (AL aDDICTION). Now I simply say, no thankyou I dont drink. It might be more helpful for you to not think too far ahead and concnetrate on the present moment....that, at least we can control...strength and love to you...Saffy
                    I am a part of the family of humanity. Not one person on this earth is a stranger to me. Rev. Ted Noffs

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                      #55
                      Ready for a way out

                      Good words Saffy. It is easy to get overwhelmed and build anxiety when thinking too far ahead. I will continue to try to focus on today.

                      I read this great blog post today about the disease called perfection.... WONDERFUL read. I highly recommend! The author writes so well.
                      Single Dad Laughing: The disease called "Perfection"

                      I am still working on making a sobriety plan. One part of my plan is to excersize. I started the Couch to 5K running program. I have started this program in the past but I was always too hungover to keep up. It's a little difficult to progess in running when you are chronically dehydrated and your liver is on fire. lol
                      Anyway, I had a great day running and ran more then I have in a really long time. It was a very progressive day!!!
                      ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                        #56
                        Ready for a way out

                        Hey Margaret,

                        I really enjoyed the Single Dad Laughing blog. So much of it hit home, I bet it does with anyone who reads it. Unless they are perfect- lol. Thanks for posting it!

                        Excersize is a really big part of my sobriety plan. I can't believe how much I've really needed to go to the gym almost daily to blow off steam. I started once a week sessions with a trainer so she could kick my butt. (Used some of my old booze money). I am amazed at how much my fitness has improved in a fairly short period of time and how much stronger I feel without the hangover affecting my workout... Of course when I was really hungover, I couldn't go to the gym... I'm talking about 2-3 days after a bad hangover. A 5K running program sounds like an outstanding goal!

                        My plan had short and longer term goals. I really began to understand ODAT and sometimes just would look forward to a sober morning (if that was all I could come up with). I considered the first 30 days AF a longer term goal. Then I added to that goal by joining the September challenge. So that brought me to 40 days.. Now I've switched up my plan a bit for October. It makes my plan manageable for me. I've read around and noticed that everyone has their own personal plan that works for them. Also each week AF my head kept thinking clearer and clearer so my plan kept developing.

                        I'm happy to hear you had a great run today!
                        Your doing a good job!!

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                          #57
                          Ready for a way out

                          Day 8 is done! Feeling great. My husband was offered a much wanted job today (he's been searching for a long time) so overall great day. Of course we'll find out next week if it will truely work out but if it does it will bring financial stress down a notch in our household.
                          ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                            #58
                            Ready for a way out

                            Weddings and such where people will probably ask if I want a glass of wine. I am nervous about saying no. >>

                            I go with a breezy, "I'm good, thanks," and no one presses me. I figured out the bigger deal I make of it, the bigger deal everyone else makes of it. Make sure you have a non-AL drink in your hand at all times, so there's no room for anything else. And congrats on day 8! : )

                            xoxo Pride
                            AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
                            "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

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                              #59
                              Ready for a way out

                              Thanks Pride. That is good advice. I'll remember the "I'm good, thanks." and to have a non-AL in hand. Stopped by a party last night. It was more tempting to have a drink then I thought it was going to be. At one point I walked by a table and there was an almost empty martini glass with the olive still in it. I had such an urge to grab that olive and just eat it, if only to taste the vodka drops on it. Pathetic. I didn't do it though. It was just a thought. lol Day 11 today.
                              ?A year from now you will wish you had started today.? Karen Lamb

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                                #60
                                Ready for a way out

                                Hi Margerth just anted to welcome you the site. Just a quick post as i'm rushing but i'll get back this evening and read more.

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